blind about what was in front of me....

[lonetiger]

this is a spin off to..."OOPS..I MADE A HUGE BOO-BOO"

 

In my last post, I talked about something that I did without thinking...I walked away from my date, leaving him sit alone while I went off to smoke a cigarette and conversing with other guys while smoking that stupid thing...in my eyes it was completely innocent, because it was just talking..but he saw it differently...he saw it as something that happened in his past...therefore he judged me.

 

Although I wrote him and deeply appoligized about what I did to him..he forgave me...but ended our friendship. The sad part about it, he was so sweet when he did it. Telling me that he was thankful for meeting me and enjoyed all that we shared with one another. To always remember that I am as beautiful on the inside as I am on the outside. That I have a huge heart and when it comes to others, how I put everyone in my life first before myself....

 

After reading what he sent, I replied back telling him not to be sweet to me and just to be honest and give it to me straight...no matter how much it would hurt to hear what he had to say...I needed to hear it and was ready for it...

 

He responded back with message of hurt on his part. I never realiezed on how he truly felt until it was too late. I knew we both had feelings for one another, yet I was blind by the fact that he liked and cared for me more than he lead me to believe.

 

It's been 22 days since I lost someone that I truly care about. The hurt I feel everyday is overwhelming and is driving me to the point of being bonkers. It's a hard lesson learned...and this one, is killing me every single day

[curiousnycgirl]

Lonetiger - ok so you made an arse out of yourself one night - you apologized and yet he could not get over it.

 

I realize you feel a loss, but stop beating yourself up about it. We are all human and we make mistakes. The ones we love, and who truly love us, let it go and are STILL there for us.

 

If it makes you feel any better - keep my story in mind. I catered to his every single need, expressed and not expressed for 4.5 years. When I finally put my foot down and said no more unless I get what I need - which was more time together (as in move in together) - he literally took a powder. Just never called again and blocked me on yahoo IM - I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm beating myself up as well.

 

So see it just doesn't matter - when we find the one who truly loves us, they will still be there for us.

 

Does that help?

[Template]

Sounds like he had some issues, and unfortunately you got caught in the middle of it. Jealousy, self-esteem, controlling.. who knows. If he truly loved you, he should realize that you are NOT his past, so he shouldn't be treating you like he is. He dismissed you because you did something that resembled a traumatic point in his past, clearly he's not ready for a relationship. Dont blame yourself.

[lonetiger]

you both are very right. When I find someone that will be there through thick or thin and doesnt run because of a very minor issue...then i know i found TRUE love.

 

as for Template..i agree, he does have issues that came out. In the last letter I wrote him 2 weeks ago, I told him that it is unfair for him to judge the new girl that he was trying to get to know from his past experiences. I am not them..i am me. I had NC with him and you both have been really helpful. I am pulling myself together and am going to stop beating myself up as i have been. He blew up something so silly into more than it had to be. I also mentioned in that last letter that he needs to start trusting, because without trust there is nothing. I also made the comment on how I wondered if he had issues with my job, because I am the only girl working with 50 plus men. If he cant trust me...then how can he handle the fact that I have to communicate with men everyday at work.

thanks ...you both made alot of sence