neverlost Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 As I have posted my story before, here it is in brief: My g/f was acting distant, she stated her reasons were she isn't good enough for me, and she is really down on herself. And it was sugegsted we talk in a day or 2. Everyday around 11:30pm at nigh she has been texting. I ignored it for the first time last night. So I guess I was doing ok... When I first met her we used to chat on msn messenger as she is in another city. I gave this up about 6 months ago due to just texting her, and not been able to sit on the net late when we talked because of having to get up early. She changed her e-mail a while back, and I thought she didn;t bother too with msn messeneger. So it automatically loaded tonight, and there she is online, with her old e-mail address... so she must have been doing this all along, the thing is, she used to know people who were no good to her, and they must all still be on her messenger She lives with her best friends in a house, so not much point of going on for them. My mind is racing, maybe she has got friendly again with people from the past and that's what this is all about maybe instead of giving her phone number out to people, she has been talking to them on there. I feel absolutely consumed with grief I just sit here, I can't sleep, I can't do anything.. I can't go around and tell her what I think of her... And I also feel down about the future... is every girl I meet going to be obsessed with networking sites, and internet messengers, using sexy display pictures to talk to anyone... It's no wonder relationships don't survive today... with all this... temptation of people? If she is feeling down, people could be telling all kinds of thigns manipulating her, while I'm here being ignored. The only flicker of joy I have is that she is online at nearly 1am talking to people because she feels down about the relationship and doens't want to sit and be depressed... RIGHT. I just feel everyone is so self-obsessed... everyday, log onto some profile and display how you feel, and what you're up to - because the world really wants to know. And to me, messenger chat is always the same "how are you?", "how is it going". I just feel so burnt and rejected. While they are having a nice little chat And I dare not talk to my friends about it, incase word gets around and I'm so paranoid old flames will try and catch up with her... I know that will probably happen.. but please... not just yet.. And I'm too "tough" to fall to my knees in front of people and burst into tears... SHE only got to see that. I feel like Seymour Parrish from the movie One Hour Photo if anyone has ever seen that. Completely alone. -neverlost
DSM-IV Thomas Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 There is only one solution. You go to the gym, you find a punching bag. (Go anywhere where you can use a punching bag). Just start punching it, and get faster and faster and harder. Let go of self control, and keep punching until things start to go red, and your rage starts to take over you. Keep punching harder and faster til you collapse. Literally do it as hard and fast as possible til you can't breath and you collapse. When you get back to your feet, everything will change. The world will have color again.
Author neverlost Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 Haha, if I had the energy, I had recently being making good progress at the gym again, but now, I can't even eat let alone move :-P Well, she texted me almost everyday at 11:30pm, and I didn't respond yesterday. Now tonight has come, she has waited until 2am in the morning to text and said: "not talking to me?" and I know she has been posting comments elsewhere that she is "tired of being herself" I'm half wondering if she is testing me, to see if I'll chase after her, to "prove" myself, so to speak. And when I don't, maybe she'll panic. Or maybe I'm just dreaming again, but either way, the damage has been done, I've seen her as somebody else now. -neverlost
DSM-IV Thomas Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Cut the ***** off. The damage has been done, so move along my friend.
Recommended Posts