Change2 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 My husband had an affair. We have chosen to work things out. We are in counceling with a faith based guy who himself was addicted to porn ( my husband has a sex addiction so that helps greatly) and we are both in 12 step recovery programs. It has been 3 weeks now since I found out. I am now ( at the moment it changes all the time) sad/depressed almost. I hate looking at myself in the mirror I just want to cry and sometimes do. I have been really hard on myself about not having my baby weight off yet ( my youngest is 10 months..but in my defense I couldn't work out until 8wks) and still have a ways to go. I think im even harder because he told me that she had a nice body and he liked it. And a few weeks before I found out he said that i should of had the weight off by now. It could be worse no im not a size 3 anymore but heck. Anyways. I also forgave him already. My sil said "already?" I don't feel that it was too early..but is this just my emotions. I dunno. I've been reading in the Bible about forgiveness and my heart told me that was the right thing to do. I want to cuddle with him, but then I do and it hurts soooo much. How did/do you handle your emotions? Is there any good books out there? Is there some sort of affair emotions chart? I just don't know how to handle all of these emotions. I can't sleep, hardly eat ( maybe that will help with the weight lol) and i don't want to think about it all the time. But its hard. Do you have a way that makes you stop thinking? I don't even know if this makes sense. I had to retype i hit delete and my son keeps waking up..im tired and my brain is thinking a million things..so sorry if i don't make any sense and thanks for any help/advice you give me its very much appreciated
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