d0ll Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 ... accompany a girl you weren't interested in to (her) family events?
gopher Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I've gone to weddings with female friends, but the friendship line was drawn long before the events.
Author d0ll Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I mean events like birthday parties/holidays
IrishCarBomb Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 If we were old friends: yes. If not: no.
audrey_1 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 If we were old friends: yes. If not: no. What draws this distinction?
Author d0ll Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 hmm .. we went out once & then he spent NYE with me & my family & now he's coming along to another family party with me .. we've known eachother about a month & a half.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 What draws this distinction? I should clarify, by "old friends" I mean friends for a long time, not friends that separated, and after some time passing, we reconnected. The difference is that the "old friend" relationship is clear on the expectations of each person. There is pretty much zero gray area. If I didn't have that clarity, I would expect her to assume that my willingness to go with her to her family event is an intentional demonstration of interest (probably a deep interest), which based on the original question, is not something I would want to do.
Trialbyfire Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I'm not a guy but have attended weddings, family functions and office parties with close male friends. But...it's because I know their families and/or their spouses were unavailable.
Author d0ll Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I'm not a guy but have attended weddings, family functions and office parties with close male friends. But...it's because I know their families and/or their spouses were unavailable. eh yeah we're really just starting to get to know eachother
Trialbyfire Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 eh yeah we're really just starting to get to know eachother If you're just starting to date, be careful you don't scare him off by asking him to meet your family through a function. Last year a man I was dating, wanted me to meet his parents for dinner on our third date. Can anyone say...run...jane...run?
Author d0ll Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 If you're just starting to date, be careful you don't scare him off by asking him to meet your family through a function. Last year a man I was dating, wanted me to meet his parents for dinner on our third date. Can anyone say...run...jane...run? nope for some reason he actually wants to come lol
likestolaugh Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 if you're friends, then why not? As long as the lines are clear... it shouldn't be an issue.
Author d0ll Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 uh i'm pretty sure it's obvious I like him as more than a friend .. unless he's dumb & can't take a hint
Wicked Child Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 uh i'm pretty sure it's obvious I like him as more than a friend .. unless he's dumb & can't take a hint Guys don't take hints very well....I know this from experience...Seriously, they need us to pretty much throw ourselves at them to know we're interested... If he's up for going with you, go for it...If you're unsure of where u guys stand, u could always use the fam as an excuse "my aunt/grandma/cousin thought we were dating/asked who you were..." I've used that tactic to see if a guy was interested in taking things further..it works if you use the right expressions and leave the question open without leading to a specific answer...
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 ICB's right, although I'm changing the wording slightly. If she's a good friend, yes. If not, no. WC is right as well. We're not good at reading hints. We're bad, actually. You'll need to tell him you like him as more than a friend...probably in so many words. And Audrey, I see it as a pretty simple definition. If I'm comfortable enough around a girl (as a friend) that I can talk with her about a chick I want to date (not just have sex with, but actually date), then she's a good enough friend. It's pretty rare for me, so I find it's an effective gauge.
Author d0ll Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 yeah we're not good friends .. so basically I should throw myself at him?
MN randomguy Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 One other possibility, Does he have a messed-up family and yours is awesome? If this is the case, he could be thinking friends, and just trying to graft himself onto your family if they're super welcoming to him. Do you have a hot sister? Most likely, too shy to ask you out.
Author d0ll Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 One other possibility, Does he have a messed-up family and yours is awesome? If this is the case, he could be thinking friends, and just trying to graft himself onto your family if they're super welcoming to him. Do you have a hot sister? Most likely, too shy to ask you out. haha nope no sisters & he does come from a good family, as far as I know
Author d0ll Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 I'M SO PISSED! today was the party & he texts me to tell me he can't make it .. WTF
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 I'M SO PISSED! today was the party & he texts me to tell me he can't make it .. WTF Oof. Ouch - I mean, at least pick up the damn telephone and CALL - not text.
Author d0ll Posted January 25, 2009 Author Posted January 25, 2009 I honestly hate the telephone, so I don't care how he tells me whether it be through text, call, AIM, etc .. I'm just mad that something happened (which I still don't know) where he couldn't make it i'm just thinking if he liked me enough he'd make it no matter what .. whatever
carhill Posted January 25, 2009 Posted January 25, 2009 ... accompany a girl you weren't interested in to (her) family events? Did so for years. They're called female friends. Still do it to a limited degree with those which remain. If you don't wish to have female friends, or don't wish to be seen with women who may be perceived (or perceive themselves) as linked to you romantically when they're not, then your truth may be different
Author d0ll Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 Did so for years. They're called female friends. Still do it to a limited degree with those which remain. If you don't wish to have female friends, or don't wish to be seen with women who may be perceived (or perceive themselves) as linked to you romantically when they're not, then your truth may be different so therefore, the answer to my question would be no .. if a man didn't want people to think he was dating you then he wouldn't be seen with you at such events, doesn't matter though .. we still haven't talked
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