nospin360 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 1. started going out middle of 8th grade …She asked ME out btw 2. broke up with me end of 8th grade She said it was just because her mom wouldn’t let her date. I found out that summer that she had actually gone out with this other guy right after she broke up with me. So an obvious lie. I was real upset when she broke up with me, and then even more upset when I found out about the lie at a party that summer. 3. Started going back out beginning of 9th grade. She apologized for what she did and said she was just stupid then. She said she didn’t love me near as much then as she did now. I believed her. 4. Broke up with me middle of 9th grade Broke up with me, and I don’t even remember the reason. I am, however, pretty sure she dated someone else during this time period. I was completely depressed and almost unable to eat for weeks. 5. got back together summer after 9th grade ….it just happened. Love at “third sight” I guess you could say. I still had never gotten close to over her either 6. broke up with me halfway through 10th grade She said it was because we couldn’t get married because of different religions. Of course that made no sense because before that was no problem. I then later found out it was just because she stopped loving me again. All I really did at home was throwup and cry….it was horrible. Even up until we got back together almost a year later, I still cried some nights. I ended up resorting to ignoring her during the school year, after realizing she would use every opportunity she could to show me how over me she was and how she no longer loved me. *note* Near the end of of 10th grade when I started to feel a little better about it...she send me a text saying she still loves me. We talk the whole weekend, on the verge of getting back together again. I am real excited about it all and happy. Then (as I later found out) she misunderstood a few jokes I said and got real mad at me. So she said a lot of really hurtful things, and then began ignoring me. Leaving me worse off than ever...and having to start all over on trying to get over her. 7. Back together beginning of 11th grade We started talking again….she asked if I still liked her and said she still liked me…I responded honestly that I still did. I then proceeded into the relationship very cautious of getting hurt again…. She made more promises similar to “I love you so much more than I did before. I was just stupid then” I believed it again and a few months into it I had completely let my guard down. 8. broke up with me Christmas break 11th grade Said we should just be friends again, but finally got her to admit it was because she didn’t love me anymore was the reason….no surprises here. I’m handling it better this time than ever before. I’m able to eat, and ignoring her is coming more naturally. I guess it gets a little easier the 4th time around. At least that’s a good thing. Present: It is now a few weeks after Christmas break. It sucks because I have to sit right next to her everyday in band. -_- I don’t even like to see her in my perif….my neck gets soar from keeping it turned to the right the whole period. Update: long story short she told me she was seeing someone else, someone she liked before she even knew me. She said she thought he was out of his league, but found out he thought she was out of his. She then told me "now stop prying and I wont talk to you no more"...I didn't respond. X_X
BlackLace Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 wow she seems like she might have a LOT of commitment issues, starting in the 8th grade being promiscuous is dangerous. anyhow, i think that you might be someone that she is certain will always be there for her when she is on rebound, bored, or just wants to get back in touch with you. it's not fair for you to take her back so many times. i almost guarentee that if you don't pay her any attention, answer her calls/texts, that she will be wanting more of you. stay strong young grasshopper!!!
loulou101 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I agree with blacklace and take some comfort in knowing when you go to college and meet lots of new girls from lots of new places she will become a distant memory and in about ten years you will look back on this and laugh but will still be sad... only because you wasted so much time on her in HS... Do not take her back she is using you to fill empty space in her life when she is between other boyfriends.. she does not love you.. she loves that you take her back everytime she wants you to! You can do much better!
Author nospin360 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 lol thanks. I had been ignoring her, completely NC for about two weeks. Then I sent her a text asking how she was, and she couldn't have been more cold. She finally told me she shouldn't be talking to me, and so I asked why. Then after lying about it she admitted to seeing someone else in the most hurtful language she possibly could. She said shes really happy with this new guy. So nonetheless I have no hope for a future with her at this point. Even if she did ever want more of me, I really hope I would be strong enough to no go out with her again after all this. I think you're right that she is certain I'll will always be there for her when she is on rebound, bored, or just wants to get back in touch with me. I feel really used.
Author nospin360 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I agree with blacklace and take some comfort in knowing when you go to college and meet lots of new girls from lots of new places she will become a distant memory and in about ten years you will look back on this and laugh but will still be sad... only because you wasted so much time on her in HS... Do not take her back she is using you to fill empty space in her life when she is between other boyfriends.. she does not love you.. she loves that you take her back everytime she wants you to! You can do much better! Yeah I hope you're right, but I think she really did love me. I don't know what causes her to randomly stop so often...I mean at some points while we're going out I get the feeling she loves me more than I love her.
BlackLace Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 You shouldn't feel used....you just loved her...or thought you loved her and she took advantage of that. You should take pride in knowing that you have such a big heart. As for her....she's bound to get rejected and played with like you did and it will only serve her right. In the meantime...focus on yourself and getting to know different people and take advantage of not being in a relationship...something i didn't do in high school. =)
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Wow, I think my computer is broken... it seems to have taken me back to the past, and I'm viewing the script for The OC. High school drama............................ not much else to say about this topic. Sorry people I'll get back to normal tomorrow.
Author nospin360 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 You shouldn't feel used....you just loved her...or thought you loved her and she took advantage of that. You should take pride in knowing that you have such a big heart. As for her....she's bound to get rejected and played with like you did and it will only serve her right. In the meantime...focus on yourself and getting to know different people and take advantage of not being in a relationship...something i didn't do in high school. =) Thanks. really. That post actually made me smile =) I agree with what you said completely.
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 The best thing you can do for yourself is to shut her out of your life completely. She's had a strangle hold on you for what, 4 years? She repeats the same pattern with you over and over again. There is only one way out of this, and that is to say no. She knows you will be there whenever she feels the need to fill a void... Trust me when I say you don't want to be that guy. Stand up for yourself and stand up to this girl. Have you dated anyone else? That's something you should think about doing. Make a good choice- stop being her fallback guy. You deserve better.
Author nospin360 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Nope, I've not dated anyone else...and it kills me when I think of all the nice girls I've blown off while going out with her. I really do think I stood up to her for the first time yesterday. I told her "Oh forget it, I can't trust a single word that comes out of your mouth anyways."....she of course responded to that by telling me she was seeing someone else though
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Start dating other girls. What you said doesn't sound like standing up to her... Standing up to her would be to tell her to get lost (or f-off) and then stop talking to her for good. I think you're "too nice" where she is concerned. Being a nice guy is a good thing- but not when it means you let someone walk all over you. Look at your history with her- she leaves you for other dudes, comes in and out of your life whenever she wants- she's broken your heart 4 times... Yet you remain available to her whenever she wants. It's seriously time to say enough is enough. She treats your relationship like a game. You really need to make a decision to cut her out of your life. There is no fairy tale ending for you and this chick. Start chasing some other tail.
Author nospin360 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 One part of me agrees completely with what you said...about her just walking all over me and treating our relationship like a game...but then when I think about the good times in our relationship..I find it hard to believe she didn't truly love me. But then I think about all the times she has broken my heart, and I begin to think she really is just that horrible of a person.
Author nospin360 Posted February 1, 2009 Author Posted February 1, 2009 Ok here is an update. I have had absolutely not contact with her since the last time we we talked via text messages mentioned earlier in this thread. Also, despite going to the same school and sitting right next to her in the same class for almost an hour everyday I have not even looked at her once. It is not even hard to do. I have no desire to look at her, it just makes me mad. I don't even like hearing her talk to other people right next to me in class....it really annoys me. I sometimes really consider writing her a really harsh and mean letter, but I think through it and realize I wouldn't be able to follow through with giving it to her. Because even after all of this, I can't bear the thought of her being upset. So I'll probably actually end up sending her something wishing her the best before its all said and done. ...I ony hope I have the strength to tell her to f off when/if she tries to talk to me in the future. With that said, I am actually doing better than I've ever done after her breaking up with me. I don't think about her much, and when it is usually just in anger at her. Only occasionaly do I remember the good times together and truly miss what he had.
Author nospin360 Posted February 10, 2009 Author Posted February 10, 2009 Ok....something happened today that really made me mad. The highschool symphonic band that my ex and I are both in had a concert. There was a bit of time to socialize at the beginning, and guess what. I get there and she is talking to the few friends I usually talk to.....the whole time. -_- She is not even really friends with them either, they were my friends. Not hers. Now I kinda feel betrayed by my friends too...None of them have ever had an ex before, so I guess they just don't understand.
Author nospin360 Posted March 27, 2009 Author Posted March 27, 2009 Ok, so it has been a couple of months, and let me tell you: I am a lot better now. Now I am not depressed about it at all...as was the case in previous break ups for months and months. I no longer think about her all the time or even most of the time. I did, however, write her a letter basically saying things just didn't work out and that I am not mad at her. I said we shouldn't be friends and even asked her not to respond to the letter. She respected that wish. I actually find myself having a crush on another girl now! This is something that had seemed unfathomable to me in the past. She sits next to me in AP Physics….though I regret that we are now in the last nine weeks of school and I spent the first 3/4ths of the year almost ignoring her. I am trying to talk to her much more now though, but there is just not much time during such a busy class. I don’t know if anything will ever come of this though…because she is a senior, I am a junior, and there are less than 9 weeks of school left. Prom is coming up and I would ask her…but I don’t know her near enough yet. We’ve only had a handful of short conversations Also, I decided to get in better shape a few weeks ago. I am by no means overweight or anything, but I still felt like getting in better shape. Since then I have been running at least 2 miles a day and have already improved my 1.6 mile time from 17:45 to 12:15, I still hope to get a lot better though. I am running every day right after getting home from school.
Author nospin360 Posted May 14, 2009 Author Posted May 14, 2009 Ok BIG update.... We went on this band trip to a theme park the other week for this contest. We were still on no speaking terms when she randomly decided to join my group at the park. I was feeling up to it, so I spoke to her a little bit and actually received a not cold response. I thought it was cool we might be able to be friends again. I enjoyed talking to her. Then at this awards thing for the contest we did their, I sat next to this girl who just so happened to be my ex's best friend. We started talking and it was clear we were both flirting with each other. I got her number and we began texting constantly, shes called me several times and had hour long conversations, and we've even made plans to hang out this summer. Anyways, I was pretty excited about beginning a new relationship. Then I get a text from the ex. She says that she cried when she saw me sitting with her friend at the award thing. She said that she still has feelings for me and would pretty much like to get back together. She then told me about how her boyfriend she got after breaking up with me ended up being a jerk and cheated on her. I told her I definitely care for her more this new girl I've been talking to....but that I don't believe its possible for us to have a successful relationship even though I wish it were possible. She seemed to be ok with it and just wanted what would make me happy. I continue texting the ex some and we are friendly...then she sees my phone recently and sees a friendly text from her friend (the new girl) pop up...she gets really pissed about it. I feel bad about it too because its her best friend and all...plus I wish things could be possible between us because honestly I don't like this new girl as much as her...though that could be just because I don't know the new girl as well yet.
boogieboy Posted May 14, 2009 Posted May 14, 2009 DUDE! get away from your EX!!! This is the worst case Ive ever heard on this board. 4 years???? You completely got over her, and now youre right back where you were? You ever heard the expression "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?" She just fooled you for the 6th time by telling you she wanted to get back with you. The 7th time if you believed this : "She says that she cried when she saw me sitting with her friend at the award thing". Girls like this say these things to rope you back in to feed their ego. She didnt really cry. Dont let her games deter you from your new girl, even if you might not like the new girl as much. Go back to NC NOW while youre thinking straight! Shes wearing you down. Ill go one step further and make up a new one for you.... NCA. Which means NEVER CONTACT AGAIN. You know what she was doing from 8th to 11th grades? She doesnt want to be alone. So everytime a new guy dumps her, she goes back to you. She never loved you, (in high school its more infatuation than love) she liked you enough to coldly use you. And she would probably do to you what those boys did to her to make herself feel better. Then she would keep you hanging on to boost her ego when she was feeling a lil lonely or down. Those boys are doing to her what she deserves. She is playing the field and you are the grass. She will never take you seriously because deep down, she knows you will do anything for her, when she knows she doesnt deserve it. Would you respect someone you could walk all over? Dont see this as normal relationship behavior. When people want to be in love, they work out their problems. If that doensnt work, they break off all contact entirely because they know no one changes. Concentrate on your new girl, until you find someone you like better. The best thing you can do right now is keep away from the ex. Dont think you are hurting her feelings, seeing you with the new girl only upsets her a lil bit that you got over her and she cant take advantage of you anymore. She got addicted to the ego boost of playing you, dont let it continue. Stay mad at her, show off your dating any way you can until you dont have to think about it anymore. And then when she tries to talk to you, you give her "the hand" and say "sorry, you blew it"- and keep it moving with the new girl. This is the type of thing where you run into her 10 years later and she says "Dude, I was twisted, why did you let me play with you like that?" She doesnt realize that sometimes after a break up she has to be by herself for a while, not jump right into a comfort zone, which is you. The only one who can teach her this is you now. You can help her! Stay away from her, dont let her grow up thinking someone will always be there to break her fall. Youre young, youre smart, you got plenty of years to try out other personalities, plus you got many nice girls in school ready to take you on. Go get em! I didnt have that luxury in high school. I apologize to the board for my harsh words, I dont take time to sugar coat my phrases. I only want to give the best advise possible. This is one of the reasons Im alone now....terrible beside manner.
Author nospin360 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 Thank you so much for the advice!!! I followed it and things are great! Me and the new girl have been on several dates, and we're even facebook official now lol...I am so glad I decided not to take my ex back again. I haven't talked to her in months. I feel completely over her! I hardly even think about her anymore. And now, from the outside, I can see how ridiculous everything about our relationship was..I just can't believe I didn't do this a long time ago! I also just noticed that she defriended me on facebook...probably sometime after me and the new girl became official. And the best part is...I couldn't care less! lol THE END. *official success story*
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