stovepipe Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I was dating my best friend. She was recently divorced. We started dating and recently broke up. We had been talking, she was giving me what I like to call excuses as to why we couldn't be together. She was married twice before, 3 children...I have never been married, never had children. She cannot have anymore children. I knew all this since I was her best friend prior to us seeing each other. Her excuses to not be together right now are "she doesn't want to hold me back, she has been through so much and I haven't" "what if i want kids in 5 years, she can't have anymore" Then she said she doesn't like the way I react to things....I am the most calm person you'll ever meet. Within the last 2 months...when things started to get bad my father had fallen very ill. I was extremely stressed out about this, I may have acted in ways that I wouldn't have normally but she was fully aware of the situation and how I was feeling during this time. Anyway...it got to the point where we were emailing back and forth about this. Getting nowhere...she said she would no longer read my emails that I sent to her. I went over to her desk....put down a note on it that said "Please do not contact me anymore, I love you but I can't do this" I was talking to a friend that same day...she thought I should get out so we went out for drinks. I left my phone at home purposely when we went out. I had a feeling she wouldn't stop contacting me. I was right. I come home and I have 6 text messages, a missed call and a voicemail all from her. The text messages are her telling me she sent me an email, then another asking if I got it, then another telling me not to be a jerk and to answer her...then another saying "I guess i know how much our friendship ment to you" then another saying "why won't you at least let me know that you got my email and read it". The voicemail was her asking me to please call her. Which I didn't do I read the email, it says I know you want me to stop talking to you but I have a few more things I want to say She basically goes into why she can't be with me AGAIN....then goes into our friendship, and how she'll just have to accept it if I want to throw it all away..she'll always hold me close to her heart...blah blah blah. I don't respond to the email. The next day at work...I get another email from her...asking if this is how its going to be...all she wants to know is if I really no longer want to talk to her, if I really no longer want to be her friend. Again I don't reply. I get another email saying "I assume your no response means that you don't want to be my friend, I hope you don't change your mind down the road because at that point it will be too late. I can't keep having people I love leave me at the blink of an eye, I can't forgive you if you stop being my friend when I need you the most" Because we were best friends before anything happened....I had told her that I was hurt over the whole breakup....that I wanted to remain her friend...but I needed time. She refuses to give me time, she says its now or never basically. I really don't want to lose my friend...but it also hurts me too much to try to be friends with her right now when she's out dating other guys. I don't know what to do, she is really being selfish here....
Template Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 If she was truly your friend, and had any feelings for you at one point, she should respect where you are coming from. I know where you are coming from. My ex was my best friends too, and in the blink of an eye she was no longer. You have to do what's best for you, and you alone. She helped to put you in this position, and if she can't see that, maybe she's not worth even having as a friend.
lonelygurl Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I think it is really hard to be friends once you have been dating and especially if you have been lovers. If she can't respect you need time then it is best to cut your losses, and overall it is probably best to forget friendship overall, I mean do you really want to still be friends?? Can you go back to just being friends after dating??? watching her date others?? I know I couldn't and the first time my X and I split I told him so. I sure couldn't go from lovers to just friends.
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