kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 At the beginning it felt like doomsday being without someone, but as I've gotten used to it, I've come to appreciate the pleasures being single has to offer. I sleep in super-late every weekend, do all the substances I so desire, go wherever I want and whenever I want, play guitar, read, write - all on my own time. I'm starting to build new friendships and learning to love every moment of the day again. The best part about being single is not worrying about a girlfriend's erratic emotions! Hopefully the next girl I'm with won't have such crazy mood swings and such a narcissistic, draining personality But it's lonely, too. There is a give and take, a pro and con, to every situation. When single, life is simultaneously lonesome and exciting, often within the same day. Anybody have thoughts about being single?
heartbroken55 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I remember when I was in a relationship I was envious of all my friends that were single. I used to say if I was single I'd be so rich and so happy. Now that I'm actually single I get pretty lonely at times. I always notice people with their significant other and think to myself how that used to be me. I keep thinking how the ex-gf is having fun with some other guy. I think I'm too needy and clingy. I need to work on it. It's pretty fun doing whatever you want and making plans without having to worry if it will interfere with something you may have going on with the gf... I can actually check out other girls now without feeling guilty because I'm a pretty loyal guy. If I'm with a girl, I give her my 100%.
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Kizik, How long have you been single? 8 months. ........
lilmrcheerful Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 At the beginning it felt like doomsday being without someone, but as I've gotten used to it, I've come to appreciate the pleasures being single has to offer. I sleep in super-late every weekend, do all the substances I so desire, go wherever I want and whenever I want, play guitar, read, write - all on my own time. I'm starting to build new friendships and learning to love every moment of the day again. The best part about being single is not worrying about a girlfriend's erratic emotions! Hopefully the next girl I'm with won't have such crazy mood swings and such a narcissistic, draining personality But it's lonely, too. There is a give and take, a pro and con, to every situation. When single, life is simultaneously lonesome and exciting, often within the same day. Anybody have thoughts about being single? ...and not to mention better off financially! Absolutely spot on and I would have written a post like this 5 years ago when my first relationship ended, it was a 15 year relationship so I took that so badly and it took me so long to get over, so this latest episode is just a drop in the ocean in comparison - hence why I believe I have been coping so much better than I would have done because I did all the hard work 5 years ago and all I have to do now is just forget about her and the rest will follow - I will remember all the hard work I put in last time around and use that experience to help cope this time around, and I am doing well! I am already doing most of those things you mention but instead of playing the guitar (which I plan to learn soon), I play the piano/keyboard in which was something I didn't hardly do anymore during the relationship. I think the most important and best thing you said there, in my opinion, is not having to feel anxious about my ex's somewhat wayward, irregular, unpredictable and wild behaviour, having to worry that every time I was at work or my back was turned she'd be texting an ex bf of hers, or rather, "flirting" with them, I don't need this, nobody needs this. I do feel alone and I miss her company alot, however, I think positive that one day to meet someone who would really appreciate me and then ultimately love be back as I love them because it was only one way and I won't put myself through that again - ever! Thanks for a positive post, much needed !
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I will remember all the hard work I put in last time around and use that experience to help cope this time around Amen to that, well-said not having to feel anxious about my ex's somewhat wayward, irregular, unpredictable and wild behaviour ...is awesome and I could only ever date a really easy-going girl at this point in my life, and probably forever. F*ck allowing myself to alllow my GF to treat me like sh*t, that's not for me anymore. I think positive that one day to meet someone who would really appreciate me and then ultimately love be back as I love them Of course you can man, you've got the right attitude and you're smart. There are literally millions of eligible sweet kind beautiful chicks out there looking for guys like us. No worries. Ya just need the fortuity to meet someone.
bubblegum Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Aww Kizik, I just want to take you to my heart and hold you until you realize how lovable you are... But I know you'd scratch and kick.... like all wounded birds. Let go man, really.... let go. You haven't let go yet, as much as you say you have, you haven't.
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Huh? I don't claim to be over my ex-GF, bubblegum. Is there something wrong with trying to have a positive spin on being single?
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I know you'd scratch and kick.... like all wounded birds. Let go man, really.... let go. You haven't let go yet, as much as you say you have, you haven't. Sorry to double post, but I just wanted to posit to bubblegum: perhaps you don't know me as well as you think you do. I was wounded, yes, but I am not bitter and am actually quite excited to fall in love again. So please don't judge me when you don't know me, and when all I'm doing is trying to bring a bit of happiness into my own life, as well as others.
bubblegum Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 No Kizik, I don't pretend to know you, but I've seen your posts to others, read your story, followed your grief and followed your moving forward... I do not talk out of my ass... You seem to regard a gf will have to reign you in somehow... not allow you to be who you are finding yourself to be... and what do you think I'd say next? Seriously? I deleted what I was going to write, because I want you to come to the conclusion.... come on man, do it, open it up and say it....
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 and what do you think I'd say next? Seriously? I deleted what I was going to write, because I want you to come to the conclusion.... come on man, do it, open it up and say it.... What in the hell are you talking about? Stop being evasive and playing games, if you have something to say on a forum, please go ahead and say it. I'm not a puss like a lot of these folks so tell me your opinion and please stop wasting my time.
audrey_1 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I'll chime in as a single female. I've enjoyed growing stronger in my solidarity. It's the right time for that and is helping. It's been awkward but reaffirming. And I smoked p*t for the first time in many years and didn't have to defend my choice to anyone.
bubblegum Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 What in the hell are you talking about? Stop being evasive and playing games, if you have something to say on a forum, please go ahead and say it. I'm not a puss like a lot of these folks so tell me your opinion and please stop wasting my time. I don't yet have an opinion on you kizik, except that by your posts you are now on the bridge of being angry and moving on... good baby, good for you. It's like you sometimes want to admit how much your ex f-ed you up and you are willing to deal with it, and other times you don't want to say it, you just want to push forward and be all about some guy that can do what he wants and f all those people in the world that try to hold him back........ who are you trying to prove yourself to? I guess that's my most un-sugarcoated question. TO WHOM ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF? I already see the defensive answers ... stop and think man, stop and think.
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I like being single up to a point. I enjoy my alone time, like not having to answer to anyone- that sort of thing. I also miss companionship. My recent ex was such a great companion- we had so much fun when we were together. I also miss having sex. One thing I don't look forward to is learning to trust someone. I also like knowing that being single means I am not vulnerable to anyone. That's the scariest thing on earth to me- feeling vulnerable.
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 you are now on the bridge of being angry and moving on... My dear, that anger stage was a while ago, I am now and will always be disappointed in my ex. It's like you sometimes want to admit how much your ex f-ed you up and you are willing to deal with it, and other times you don't want to say it, you just want to push forward and be all about some guy that can do what he wants and f all those people in the world that try to hold him back........ Of course my ex f*cked me up. She made me like myself a hell of a lot less, and these last 8 months have been all about trying to recover my self-esteem and self-image. And yes, I do just want to push forward and live forward. Life has to go on, and dwelling on a failed relationship is called living in the past. And yes, f*ck all those people who try to hold me back. TO WHOM ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF? Aah! Why are you shouting? Let me ask you this: am I trying to prove something by writing threads about looking on the bright side of things? Or do you simply not like it when I tell all the guys that their women have moved on, she doesn't love them, and that they also need to move on? I also miss companionship. My recent ex was such a great companion- we had so much fun when we were together. I also miss having sex. One thing I don't look forward to is learning to trust someone. I also like knowing that being single means I am not vulnerable to anyone. That's the scariest thing on earth to me- feeling vulnerable. I can relate to this. It's very hard to trust anyone for simple matters, let alone with your heart. I think, though, that life is too short to worry about someone leaving you. If you always see the potential bad, you'll never initially invest yourself in someone. I think all relationships have a life cycle, and to deny that is to be naive. You have to have a simultaneous understanding that it may end and may hurt, but for now you are going to love this person, and damn the torpedoes.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 One thing I don't look forward to is learning to trust someone. I also like knowing that being single means I am not vulnerable to anyone. That's the scariest thing on earth to me- feeling vulnerable. Yes absolutely right, and that's how I am feeling right now. I know that I will meet new people but the trusting is going to be my biggest obsticle now, not the getting over my ex that seems to be the easy part, the biggest challange for me is what lies ahead. Experience tells you to be much more weary and cautious about who you befriend, and that's not my doing, that's caused by the numerous horrible people I've opened my heart to and there's only so much you can take of that !
bubblegum Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Aah! Why are you shouting? Let me ask you this: am I trying to prove something by writing threads about looking on the bright side of things? Or do you simply not like it when I tell all the guys that their women have moved on, she doesn't love them, and that they also need to move on? No Kizik, I have no personal investment in your world. I actually want to help you, but if my questions are too intense for your ego to handle, that's cool, whatever, I'm a bit disappointed because I thought you were smarter than that, but ok, whatever... of course I get something out of it too, I'm not dumb to that...
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 if my questions are too intense for your ego to handle, that's cool, whatever, I'm a bit disappointed because I thought you were smarter than that, but ok, whatever... Yeah, your questions are too intense for me More like too pointed and judgmental. Also, nope, I am not smarter than that. You caught me, I am a very stupid person. However I am smart enough to know and ignore a provocateur when I meet one. What questions are you referring to? All you tried to do was get me into a little guessing game. You seem to be someone who quite enjoys trying to make another feel bad about himself. Too bad that in this whole interchange you haven't said anything useful, all you have said, "Can you guess what I wrote there before I deleted it?" You say you want to help me, but the thing is that I didn't ask for any. And this is sooo unfortunate that you steered this thread to be about me instead of the merits of being single.
bubblegum Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Yeah, your questions are too intense for me More like too pointed and judgmental. Also, nope, I am not smarter than that. You caught me, I am a very stupid person. However I am smart enough to know and ignore a provocateur when I meet one. What questions are you referring to? All you tried to do was get me into a little guessing game. You seem to be someone who quite enjoys trying to make another feel bad about himself. Too bad that in this whole interchange you haven't said anything useful, all you have said, "Can you guess what I wrote there before I deleted it?" You say you want to help me, but the thing is that I didn't ask for any. And this is sooo unfortunate that you steered this thread to be about me instead of the merits of being single. lmao and I rarely use that sentiment... give me a moment to get back to you
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 This thread sucks now... sorry everyone... I shouldn't have let someone so clearly unhappy let me get so upset.
belladonna Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Yeah I'm kinda getting there. I've been single now for about 6 weeks for the first time in 6 years (two consecutive Rs). It feels so weird!! I'm still hung up on my ex a little bit, I think about him a lot, and I really miss sex..but I'm going out to parties at school and becoming way closer to people I kept as aquaintances before. That's probably the best thing being single is doing for me. I'm making new friends, also trying out new ..uh substances and focusing on school work and getting an internship. I've been entertaining the idea of going somewhere far away for an internship, something that I've never considered because I never wanted to move away from my boyfriend at the time. So yeah, I feel ya Kizik. You gotta take this being single time to work on yourself..good can come from this
bubblegum Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 You actually think I like making others feel bad about themselves? Where do you get that Kizik?
Author kizik Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I really miss sex.. You never hear guys phrase it that way, becuase we're either jerking off or talking about "getting laid". That's probably the best thing being single is doing for me. I'm making new friends, also trying out new ..uh substances and focusing on school work and getting an internship. I've been entertaining the idea of going somewhere far away for an internship, something that I've never considered because I never wanted to move away from my boyfriend at the time. It sounds like you're doing really well! I'm sure you could pull a BF anytime you wanted to. Good job on all the cool stuff you're doing.
belladonna Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 You never hear guys phrase it that way, becuase we're either jerking off or talking about "getting laid". lol..I suppose so It sounds like you're doing really well! I'm sure you could pull a BF anytime you wanted to. Good job on all the cool stuff you're doing. Aw thanks. I'm trying! This is probably the best thing for me, when I actually think logically I'm sure it won't be long until you find someone new and until then, party on! haha
lonelygurl Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I like having the whole bed to myself and no snoring waking me up!! I also like I can leave a mess everywhere and get no dirty looks cause I didn't clean up or close a cupboard door.
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