alwayssme Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I wanted to share this with you guys in hopes that maybe I can help some of you feel a little better... What really helps me copw with my situation..honestly..being busy!!! I love going to my college and working...it gives me a feeling of accomplishment and knowing that I can do good for myself all on my own (esp. when im going through so much hurt inside) makes me feel strong...i know it sounds like a bunch of "optimistic" words but it's the truth... I am blessed with an amazing family and a few good friends who have helped me through this situation...so friends are def. a plus in times like these. I have cut off people who brought me down...(and in times like these, you can def. tell whos your friend and who has the title for no reason...so yupp cut off contact with people who didnt care much about me) i'm still nice & polite to them when i talk to them once in a while but i no longer consider them "friends" like i used to...now they are just acquantances..once u accept people for what they truly are, you feel better because you're not disappointed anymore..u dont expect too much from them. I cry when I need to, I write on my journal, I write him letters...whatever I'm feeling and feel like I really dont wanna hold it in, I write it down...or I talk to my best friend about it and thank God she is always there listening, giving me advice and she's very helpful...she has been in my life for a very long time and was there through my relationship and through my tears soo it helps alot talking to her... *this one is probably a bad idea* (it helps me cope somehow though) BUT i think that maybeeee someday me and my ex might talk again...not necessarily get back but simply talk again....and he hopefully will be his old self (not the cold person he turned into) and maybe feel it in his heart to recognize how bad he hurt me and apologize....maybe someday we can be friends??? I pray and turned more into God. I try to stay away from things that remind me of him as much as possible...Unfortunately soooo much reminds me of him so i dont get rediculous about it...what i cant avoid, i learn to "accept"...i have memories with him everywhere so of course im not going to stop going to every single place because of him....but some places that are not necessary to go to...(such as this romantic lake that was considered ""our place"" it hurts even thinking about it) i dont go there...i dont need to anyway... i allow myself to go through every motion when i need to...i understand this is a hard time (it has gotten better, much better than before) and im okay with it...i understand that some days will hurt and some days i will be okay...i understand that when certain memories will come up, i will feel that messed up feeling in my stomach but thats okay because it gets better... i stay away from finding out ANYTHING about him....i know that someday he will find a new girlfriend (if he hasnt already) and i know he talks to his ex and maybe still has feelings for her....and THIS PART is so so hard on me...but i stay away from finding out anything..i dont check his myspace, nor do i check anyones that is involved with him..."what you dont know doesnt hurt and out of sight our of mind" Sometimes I have moments where I miss him extremely and in those times I just embrace the pain...its hard because i can literally feel my heart breaking in those moments but i know that it has gotten better and that gives me hope that it will get better... I try not to force myself to like other guys simply because im lonely..but that doesnt mean that im going to push people away...there is nothing wrong with getting to know new people.. Sorry this was long, just wanted to give some idea on what has helped me...I really hope some of it helped!! Good luck everyone...it's a tough road but hopefully we can all gain something much better because of it...
lilmrcheerful Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Your post is really lovely and I can relate to a lot of what you said, especially the first half of your thread. It is very important to have friends around you and as you I don't have many close friends and most of who I consider friends are just people who are there, I know a lot of people but not many are my friends in that way because they are not in touch with their own feelings let alone anybody elses, my sister is about the only one who understands me which is great and if I didn't have her through this then I would really have struggled so much, I am also blessed with a great caring family who have been there for me.
lofi_tokyo Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Heya Always, cute post! I think you're very right about... letting it out when you need to, counting your blessings, and realizing even though it hurts sometimes, life isnt all that bad. Good to hear you're doing great.
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