LadyDanger Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Ok basically I have known this guy at university since september. And we have been flirting with one another for that long. As we got to know each other we realised that we live quite close to one another at home. Anyway, we went on a date and got on like a house on fire. He had to go back to university earlier than me, because he is an upper year so he had exams before me. Anyway during this time we couldnt see each other, but spoke everyday for 3 hours on msn or the phone. We go on our second date, watch a film, have a meal- and kissing followed etc. But not sex. Then the following day he sends me a message saying "I think we should be friends" and I ask him why he says " No reason, I just have a feeling we will be better off as friends" and then said " ohhhhh " He then completely blanked me for the following week...until I saw him last night when we spoke very briefly. Basically what has happened is, before he liked me more than I liked him. Now he has said that he just wants friends, I realised that actually I like him A LOT. Before he was saying stuff such as " I want you, we really could have something" Then all of a sudden he goes cold...why? And is there anything I can do, to make it how it was previously? I want him, and yes I know there are other fish in the sea, but I want this one. Advice and opinions please, im really stumped.
lofi_tokyo Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I had a similar experience to this where I was the confusing one. I fell for this guy super hard, super fast. All good. We had a few fun dates, I genuinely liked him, but there was always this... inexplicable something making me think I'd rather have him as a friend. Then we had this one great date (really it was super) and its almost as if... I could see where things were going, with a fun date like that, it was likely we'd be a couple soon and well... I just didn't want that!! Although we had some great times together, I just was not ready to date the guy, because I was still kind of feeling things out. I told him the next day I didn't want to do a relationship. It sucked, and we didn't talk for a little while. I guess the end explanation is: yeah, there can be amazing chemistry, seemingly, but if they're not willing to date you, they're just not that into you. It sucks to hear, but the sooner you accept it the faster you can move on to someone who appreciates you for who you are.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Maybe he was dating someone else too, and decided on her instead?
lofi_tokyo Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Maybe he was dating someone else too, and decided on her instead? Yup definitely another possibility I'd imagine. A catalyst too the guy I mentioned earlier in my post were his super cute friends - though I know I could never date them, I was quickly reminded there are other fun guys to date, and I wasn't ready to settle for the one I had been hanging out with. As for right now, I'm kind of seeing a few guys. I think this happens a lot actually. I guess its best not to get too attached unless the relationship is decidedly monogamous. Otherwise, all bets are off.
BlueEyedGirl Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Sometimes after the kissing/making out guys or girls realize that there is not enough chemistry for a relationship.
Lucky555 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 tokyovogue I guess its best not to get too attached unless the relationship is decidedly monogamous. Otherwise, all bets are off. SOOO TRUE. I have just realized this recently. It doesn't matter how great of a person we are until its monogamous. Date a lot of guys is till you find one that wants the same thing as you.
Surfer Dude Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Sounds like a boring guy to me. Why didn't he push into intimacy with you? Did you resist or he wussed out?
mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I think he's playing games with you myself. I had someone who pulled that with me, the after after we did the deed the coward sent me an email saying that tonight he's going out with his old girlfriend and was feeling very confused and torn. I cut him off immediately. Who wants their feelings played with on someone's whims. I think you should move on before he pulls this again, because he will if you let him.
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