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Posted

I met this girl on match about 2 1/2 weeks ago and we talked/texted/emailed essentially everyday the entire time, almost all day long. We went out for the first time last night and things went spectacular. She's drop dead gorgeous from head to toe, we have a TON in common, not just in interests, but we've gone through a lot of the same things ex-gf/bf-wise.

 

We discussed everything before even meeting in person and we still found enough to talk about last night to take up almost 4 hours. I had parked in a different parking lot and she gave me a ride in her car to mine, at which point we kissed goodbye. it wasn't full-on making out, but it was long enough to see that there was definitely a mutual attraction.

 

We've been talking all day today, and we ended it last night by saying we'd definitely do it again. This is someone I could definitely see myself forming a long-term relationship with, but there were a few concerns raised that I was hoping I could get some advice on.

 

- she has a TON of guy friends, which inherently doesn't bother me, but I can tell she's a pretty flirtacious girl, so I guess I'm just hoping I don't fall into that category.

 

- she admitted to me that she hasn't been in a lot of long-term relationships. Well, she's had a couple year and a half relationships, but she kind of seems like the type of person that grows tired of the guys she dates after a while. I could be rushing to judgement here, but it's something that stood out to me.

 

- she was burned horribly by an ex that went into extreme stalker mode rather quickly, so there could be some trust issues there definitely.

 

I'm not one to put a lot into expectations, and everything went great, like I said, but taking things slow never hurt anyone, so that's pretty much my MO moving forward. I guess my main question is, does this sound like a situation where she's just looking for another guy to hang out with (something I suppose I'm not totally against) or does it sound like something more?

Posted

Take it slow dude. You do not want to fall into the pitfalls that her previous victims had. True relationships build over time.

Posted

You've only had ONE date. Stop analyzing, just go with it and enjoy.

Posted
I met this girl on match about 2 1/2 weeks ago and we talked/texted/emailed essentially everyday the entire time, almost all day long. We went out for the first time last night and things went spectacular. She's drop dead gorgeous from head to toe, we have a TON in common, not just in interests, but we've gone through a lot of the same things ex-gf/bf-wise.

 

We discussed everything before even meeting in person and we still found enough to talk about last night to take up almost 4 hours.

 

I realize when you meet someone online you have to talk a little bit before the first date. But you should not be texting and emailing constantly. And while I'm glad you still managed to fill four hours with conversation on your first date, your first date should NOT last four hours - not unless you are having sex for the last three.

 

I had parked in a different parking lot and she gave me a ride in her car to mine, at which point we kissed goodbye. it wasn't full-on making out, but it was long enough to see that there was definitely a mutual attraction.

 

Next time, make out.

 

We've been talking all day today, and we ended it last night by saying we'd definitely do it again. This is someone I could definitely see myself forming a long-term relationship with

 

Again: You should not be talking all day to this woman. Save some for your dates. You leave absolutely nothing to her imagination when you open yourself up like a book to her so early.

 

- she has a TON of guy friends, which inherently doesn't bother me, but I can tell she's a pretty flirtacious girl, so I guess I'm just hoping I don't fall into that category.

 

Red flag #1. A few guy friends is one thing. This sounds like she has a cadre of lap dogs, especially if she flirts a lot.

 

but she kind of seems like the type of person that grows tired of the guys she dates after a while.

 

Red flag #2.

 

- she was burned horribly by an ex that went into extreme stalker mode rather quickly, so there could be some trust issues there definitely.

 

Sounds like a minor flag. Not her fault, but she might be the type who finds her way into bad relationships. Keep an eye out.

 

but taking things slow never hurt anyone, so that's pretty much my MO moving forward. I guess my main question is, does this sound like a situation where she's just looking for another guy to hang out with (something I suppose I'm not totally against) or does it sound like something more?

 

There is no way to know for sure. But by going on 4 hour dates and thinking in LTR terms, you are most certainly NOT taking it slow. Depending on how you proceed, you could wind up just another guy, or you could end up something more to her.

 

The key for you is not to behave like all the other guys in her life. Remember, a lot of them are probably her "buddies" who secretly want to bang her but have been put in the friend zone. Some might not be, granted. In any event, you need to up the romantic ante and treat her like a woman. That means acting like a man: No gabbing on the phone when calling for a date, no innocent, tongue-less kisses. No worrying about whether she likes you or not. You'll know soon enough.

 

In the meantime, have fun together. The present is the only time you can control.

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