TrustInYourself Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I got this awhile back and figured I would pass it on. It helped me and I figure it might be worthwhile to some of you. Take care. 1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead orimplore! 2. No frequent phone calls, texts, emails 3. Do not point out good points in marriage 4. Do not follow them around the house 5. Do not encourage talk about the future 6. Do not ask for help from family members 7. Do not ask for reassurances 8. Do not buy gifts 9. Do not schedule dates together 10. Do not spy on spouse 11. Do not say "I Love You" 12. Act as if you are moving on with your life 13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive 14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse - getbusy, do things, go to church, go out with friends,etc. 15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually startthe conversation) be scarce or short on words 16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse hiswhereabouts, ASK NOTHING 17. You need to make your partner think that you havehad an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, youare going to move on with your life, with or withoutyour spouse 18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pullback and wait to see if spouse notices and, moreimportant, realize what he will be missing 19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only showyour spouse happiness and contentment. Show himsomeone he would want to be around. 20. All questions about marriage should be put onhold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (whichmay be a while) 21. Never lose your cool 22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic 23. Do not argue about how they feel (it only makestheir feelings stronger) 24. Be patient 25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is reallysaying to you 26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when youwant to speak out 27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh &focus on all the other parts of your life that are notin turmoil) 28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly 29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallestCONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than anywords you can say or write 30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when youare hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy 31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating withyour spouse 32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak inabsolute negatives because he is hurting and scared 33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how badyou feel 34. Do not backslide from your hardearned changes
skinman Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Thanks TIY, could have used this post 2 months ago when I was doing almost everything that was mentioned not to do... it's ok I have learned and almost dont care anymore... Thanks for posting this for the new folks who are just getting started in their own nightmares.... Best wishes to you all....
confusedinkansas Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 WOW......pretty profound. Sure could have used this last year this time! Hope it helps.......I think it would have helped me.
curiousnycgirl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 i'm bumping it back up - sinkerswim needs to read this!
Blindsided09 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 This is indeed good advice and I could have really used it last week. But maybe it's not too late. Thanks for sharing!
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