hatguy Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Timeline (over a 2 week period): Date 1: Drinks, dancing, spent the night at her place Date 2: Supper, makeout at my place (no sex) Date 3: Nice dinner out, she bails later (not feeling well) Date 4: Supper, movie at my place (cuddling, but that's it...again not feeling well a week later) Date 5: Planned – should I expect a handshake here or what? The premise my question is that we really like each other and that neither of us are seeing other people; so, I've narrowed the issue down to: (1) She's playing hard to get (don't think that's it) or (2) She's testing to see if I'm only into her for sex (seems probable) or (3) She's just slowing things down to get to know one another better. And I totally get that those 3 things aren' t mutually exclusive. Assuming my premise is correct are there other possibilities I might have missed? Just wondering as I'm coming up with strategies to deal with the situation. If my premise isn't correct then I'm dead in the water and it doesn't really matter what I do lol. I admit I've been pushing the physical stuff each time until she asks me to back off... which I've done (although with reluctance because I can tell she's enjoying it). Thanks in advance!
RichGuy Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 maybe she was on her period on dates 3 and 4, thus no sex... (although that usually doesn't stop me eheheh)
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 maybe she was on her period on dates 3 and 4, thus no sex... (although that usually doesn't stop me eheheh) TMI :confused::confused:
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 She may just be hesitant to have sex right away. She may be trying to slow things down becuase she doesn't want to give you the idea that she is ready to have sex with you. Next date, go in for a kiss. If she pushes you away or feels uncomfortabled don't upset, but you could maybe tell her that you want to make sure she is still interested, but you understand if she's not quite ready for more. Then see what she says. That's not pressuring her, and it's understanding and gentlemenly as well.
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Is it possible, hopefully not, but that she's becoming less interested? Maybe she's not digging you as much. Best way to find out is do as Lauriebell said
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Some girls just don't like to have sex right away. Usually I'll wait until we are exclusive depending on how long that is. (Usually 1 1/2-2 months). I don't like the thought of the guy I'm dating having sex with other girls in addition to me. Plus, I don't like having sex with "just anyone." I'd at least like to know that we have strong feelings for each other by that point, so it's not just f'ing.
Author hatguy Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 She may just be hesitant to have sex right away. She may be trying to slow things down becuase she doesn't want to give you the idea that she is ready to have sex with you. Next date, go in for a kiss. If she pushes you away or feels uncomfortabled don't upset, but you could maybe tell her that you want to make sure she is still interested, but you understand if she's not quite ready for more. Then see what she says. That's not pressuring her, and it's understanding and gentlemenly as well. Guess I was just confused because on the first date there was no sex hesitation.... that came on later. Maybe she was just having fun and realized this could turn into something LT? Her period was something I hadn't really considered, but in either event your advice should work Only thing is if she's playing hard-to-get I'd totally approach that differently (I'd back off for a while... make plans with the guys -- whatever). Guess I'll try talking to her a bit and make her not feel so pressured about the sex part. It's just so hard to think with the right head in the moment Thanks!
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