Author sinkerswim Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Ok..after reading everyones posts...and I appreciate all of your advice... I have to say why I am here until Jan 30th. Because I only work 2 part time jobs that get me nowhere..but to pay my car and other little things. He paid for everything for me. So..I dont have the money to just up and leave so easily. I am trying to get stuff in order to be prepared to leave at the end of the month..I drive an older car a 1999... and I have to be sure its in good running condition with tires..etc.. .although my parents are coming out to help me move..we also don't want the car to break down half way back to PA. Tons of stuff to pack..Ive been packing everyday. Just stuff I need to get done. Yes..maybe I should have been out of here immediately..but its not so easy on my end. Another thing with my cat... I swear it is not because I want to keep contacting him..in fact, I am afraid of how that will affect me. I know I have to break all ties for now. I trust him with the cat..and I know I will get him back for sure. But that is something I have to deal with while I am back in PA. Tell him to contact me if there is a problem...He knows where I am at. I am already grieving for our relationship being over. I am terrified of going no contact after 4 years of talking everyday and living together for well over a year. I am afraid of what its gonna feel like. But I know I have to do it..to heal myself. I know my cat will be OK..that is what I gotta keep telling myself. I will be back in May to get him..if not...we may get him shipped back on a plane to PA. (my moms suggestion) I just want him to remember how much I love him and to not forget that.
Girlygirl1977 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Ok..after reading everyones posts...and I appreciate all of your advice... I have to say why I am here until Jan 30th. Because I only work 2 part time jobs that get me nowhere..but to pay my car and other little things. He paid for everything for me. So..I dont have the money to just up and leave so easily. I am trying to get stuff in order to be prepared to leave at the end of the month..I drive an older car a 1999... and I have to be sure its in good running condition with tires..etc.. .although my parents are coming out to help me move..we also don't want the car to break down half way back to PA. Tons of stuff to pack..Ive been packing everyday. Just stuff I need to get done. Yes..maybe I should have been out of here immediately..but its not so easy on my end. Another thing with my cat... I swear it is not because I want to keep contacting him..in fact, I am afraid of how that will affect me. I know I have to break all ties for now. I trust him with the cat..and I know I will get him back for sure. But that is something I have to deal with while I am back in PA. Tell him to contact me if there is a problem...He knows where I am at. I am already grieving for our relationship being over. I am terrified of going no contact after 4 years of talking everyday and living together for well over a year. I am afraid of what its gonna feel like. But I know I have to do it..to heal myself. I know my cat will be OK..that is what I gotta keep telling myself. I will be back in May to get him..if not...we may get him shipped back on a plane to PA. (my moms suggestion) I just want him to remember how much I love him and to not forget that. I agree with everything every one else has said and unfortunately you are not listening at all. I still don't understand, why can't your cat come with you when you move?
Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Ok..after reading everyones posts...and I appreciate all of your advice... I have to say why I am here until Jan 30th. Because I only work 2 part time jobs that get me nowhere..but to pay my car and other little things. He paid for everything for me. So..I dont have the money to just up and leave so easily. I am trying to get stuff in order to be prepared to leave at the end of the month..I drive an older car a 1999... and I have to be sure its in good running condition with tires..etc.. .although my parents are coming out to help me move..we also don't want the car to break down half way back to PA. Tons of stuff to pack..Ive been packing everyday. Just stuff I need to get done. Yes..maybe I should have been out of here immediately..but its not so easy on my end. Another thing with my cat... I swear it is not because I want to keep contacting him..in fact, I am afraid of how that will affect me. I know I have to break all ties for now. I trust him with the cat..and I know I will get him back for sure. But that is something I have to deal with while I am back in PA. Tell him to contact me if there is a problem...He knows where I am at. I am already grieving for our relationship being over. I am terrified of going no contact after 4 years of talking everyday and living together for well over a year. I am afraid of what its gonna feel like. But I know I have to do it..to heal myself. I know my cat will be OK..that is what I gotta keep telling myself. I will be back in May to get him..if not...we may get him shipped back on a plane to PA. (my moms suggestion) ****I just want him to remember how much I love him and to not forget that.**** **** He hears you but he dosen't care anymore.
PinkToes Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 OK there's a part of me that thinks there's no point in responding anymore, but I'm doing it anyway. You are trying pretty hard to justify staying until the end of the month, and I don't think that anything anyone says is going to change that. No one is saying your feelings aren't justified or that you aren't in pain. What they're saying is that you are choosing to BEHAVE in a way that makes things more difficult on yourself. Whatever you're planning to do with your cat in May can be done now -- whether that means putting him on a plane or driving him back yourself. And you know that. If your ex wasn't willing to keep him, you would find a way. You are looking for a way to stay in touch with your ex. Everything else is also an excuse. You said you were upset that you had to leave all your friends. So you do have friends there. And I'm guessing that if you told any one of them that you needed a place to stay for a few days, they'd be happy to help. You could pack when your ex was at work. Same with the car. None of these things require that you sleep in the same bed with your ex -- that's your idea. Honestly, I know your feelings are a mess, and that you're scared. No one is saying you don't have a right to those feelings. But you can choose to take steps that have your best interest at heart, and you're choosing not to do that. You are making this harder than it needs to be. And I know that nothing anyone says will make a difference. But you are torturing yourself and it is painful to watch.
nature Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I'm sorry, but this is just so pathetic. Your parents are coming out to help you move. You will have two cars driving back? yet you are still leaving your cat as a desperate move to keep present in his life? Are you hearing yourself? If you can ship the cat in May, why can you not ship the cat now? You are doing everything wrong. I have had ex's who did to me what you are doing. And in the end, they grossed me out so badly because they used every excuse to stay connected to me. If they had gone away and been strong and independent, maybe I would have missed them. but their pathetic little excuses to stay in my life in any way, shape or form just turned me off so badly from them, that all I did every day was thank gawd for breaking up with them. And this is what you are going to do to your ex.
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