fodemon277 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Hi, my situation is very strange im only 17 i was previously in a relationship with an 18 yr old girl with a kid which could or could not be mine. I am so stuck on her and after being separated she is just now starting to talk to me again. I thought things were going great but then one of her friends and a very dear friend of mine told me she was trying to get with this other guy that she supposedly tried to sleep with on the first date. This friend of mine has never lied to me at all and i do believe her. But the other girl the one i care about is telling me that the guy is making the stuff up and telling her friend a bunch of lies and somehow thats getting back to me. This girl has cheated on me before and gotten pregnant, i took her back after the kid was born and we broke up no cheating this time, we started talking again and i caught her going over to another guys house that she was lying to me about, even though not considered cheating it hurt me. i gave up, or so i thought now im falling back for her and we have been seeing each other and this problem is emerging. i dont know what to do all my friends are telling me to just get rid of her. i wish it was just that easy i never thought i would have to resort to a forum for help but im desperate i love the girl and i wanna trust her but what should i do n e advice would be helpful thanks.
Geishawhelk Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 One. Get a paternity test. If you ARE the father, agree to see child and offer support (even if it's just emotional, because call me odd, but I'm taking the risk of assuming you don't have a high-power job in the city, a Ferrari and a Condo in Monaco - just yet.) or, if you are not the father, distance yourself from this girl, concentrate on your studies and try to be a little more mature and think with your head and not the contents of your pants. Either way, do not establish a relationship with this girl. She sounds flaky. To say the least.
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 She is a serial cheater. Tell her that, and that the proof is in her arms. She needs to be focused on being a good mother. And you need to dump the treacherous skank.
Author fodemon277 Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 I agree with you on just about everything, im just so happy around her and not because of the contents in my pants lol, but just being with her i forget everything that is going on around me after talking to her for a couple days she wants me to believe everything she says she doesnt know that i have a friend watching her and as of right now shes been hangng out with a couple of guys and not telling me about it until pics emerge on facebook of them together and now i am just finding out shes going to a party tmro when i mentioned it she freaked out saying she doesnt even know if shes going. im so stressed about this i know its bull**** with me being 17 and ill probably look back years from now and say i was dumb as hell for even trying but for now i wanna make it work ive tried to cut the ties but its just not happening for me ive tried dating others and did not work they werent her i need help cutting the ties if that is what has to happen any suggestions ?
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Then you need to show her irrefutable proof. And you have to tell her its them or me. If you don't you will be ingrained as a cuckold. And that will make you a very unhappy man.
Author fodemon277 Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 im so scared of getting hurt again im already stressed so much that im starting to not eat and sleep i feel sick n e time food is around and i just think about her and what is going on and it makes me sicker im an emotional wreck
Geishawhelk Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 im so scared of getting hurt again im already stressed so much that im starting to not eat and sleep i feel sick n e time food is around and i just think about her and what is going on and it makes me sicker im an emotional wreck You're already getting hurt again. Really, I understand you might have pretty strong feelings for her, but ask yourself - is she really worth everything you are putting yourself through? And you DO understand, don't you - that it's you making you feel this way? By perpetuating your connection with her, you are engineering all this pain, stress, lack of sleep, not eating, feeling sick.... this is all you, doing this to you. With all the really nice, decent, considerate, pretty, fun-loving girls around - why are you latching onto "Li'l Miss Poison" here? If this realtionship is making you feel so bad - then it's not Love. It's a need for something, but it's toxic and destructive. Please do as we suggest. Break away from it, get a DNA/paternity test done, and only remain in contact with her if the child is yours. And then, only for the sake of the baby. But if (as I strongly suspect) the baby ISN'T yours - shut her out of your life. Otherwise it's going nowhere but down.
Author fodemon277 Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 thank u for the advice i will work on it, really this is helping me alot thanks
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