awesomeallalone Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I really do feel so horrible right now.... 16 no contact..... its killing me.... everyday I feel like its going to get better but instead its getting worse.... the pain I feel is slowly eating at me.....I guess im finally realizing that its really over and im letting go and it hurts so much..... im trying to do everything I can to make myself feel okay but like I said everyday is getting harder..... like today ive been crying.... even when im doing other things I end up doing those things with tears in my eyes.... im really hurting.... and it feels like its not going to stop ever...now it really is hitting me and its hitting me HARD...
msjules Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Trust me, the pain WILL stop someday. I know it is hard......but you are starting to accept the permanency of it all. Keep on doing NC....and know there is a chance your ex might contact you eventually. It seems to happen to almost all of us. And when it happens, brace yourself for another round of pain. I hope I am not freaking you out, but you sound just like I did soon after my breakup. It took a month, but he tried contacting me again and of course I got back to him and we tried being friends, yadda yadda yadda. Now it's four months out, he still doesn't want me back, and I wish I had never broken NC. Brace yourself and keep up the NC. The fact that you are in pain means you ARE healing. The only way out of the pain is through it. Keep coming here and read as many threads as you can. This place is a godsend.
cabarc1 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 It's so hard to believe right now but the pain really does become less and less painful with time. I thought the same way and felt like it would NEVER get better but it does. It's been almost 6 months for me and i'm finally to the point where i don't feel like dying EVERYDAY, just maybe once a week. And even so it's still not as bad as before. 16 days really is nothing. Hang in there, you are gonna have a breakthrough one of these days!
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 You see, it feels like worse because it is. The quote "It's always darkest just before dawn" rings true here. It's getting worse, because it has to get worse before it can be better. Rest assured, you will get better. (As everyone else on earth has said). This is normal that you feel worse right now, don't worry. In about 2 months you should be through the worse stage, and start walking towards the sunlight again. Listen to some Eminem. He is awesome.
Intergalactic Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 there is a thread for posting what you would like to say to your ex when you want to break NC in the 'coping' forum. it really is very very helpful for venting and all sorts, and to see that you are not alone in your difficulty with coping with NC. also, when things get hard, i like to think about all the things in the world that are good and beautiful and worth living for. like travelling, and meeting new people, and summer nights and blue oceans and jungles with monkeys, and the universe and how long it's been around and the stars and how much beauty and wonder and mystery there is both out there and on this earth, and so so so many years of history and people being born and dying and living full, rich lives, building cities and families and so many beautiful and wonderful things despite the sorrow they encounter. it really makes what i'm going through at that time seem so small in comparison! i'm not saying you can't cry and feel low, because mourning the end of a relationship is a necessary and healthy part of moving on. but don't let it consume you because there is SO MUCH to enjoy! and last but not least, a favourite lyric of mine: "my ship is a strong one, it has carried me through storms worse than this"
sinkerswim Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I am soo sorry you are hurting... I FEEL your pain. I am dreading going NC after I move away. We will all come here...and talk it out here. LS does help. Hang in...We are here for you. I KNOW it hurts. I hurt really bad too, and I didnt move out yet..but next week is the big day...I am terrified. I wake up so depressed.
moveon Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I know your feeling, it's really painful. I'm in the same situation right now. Today, for whatever reasons, I miss my ex so much, that painful feeling is so unbearable, I'm sitting here in my office, starring at the computer, can't concenrate on any work, I just wanted to cry.... memories of my ex just keep popping in like video clips, I just can't shake it off..... no idea what trigger the thought of him,,,, it has been 3 months of n/c, and I still miss him so much, and I'm so tempted to pick up the phone to call him..... but I know I shouldn't, I snapped myself out of it.... I can't go through that pain again.... I keep thinking ... maybe I haven't done enough or did my best to save our relationship, maybe I shouldn't have agreed with the breakup, maybe I shouldn't have let him go.... blah..blah..blah... all these stupid thought....
AlektraClementine Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I'll tell you what I thought when I read your post. It exudes strength and resolve. When we are broken down, we are forced to reckon with ourselves and thru this, we come to know ourselves and our fundamental capabilities better. 16 days! Wow that's something to be proud of. I know it hurts but there is purpose to your suffering. you are building strength every minute you endure this. You will come out tough after this!
justletgo07 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 You should feel very proud of yourself. I truly believe that breaking up (especially being dumped) is one of the most physically and emotionally painful experiences one can go through. It is even worse than the death of a loved one in some ways, because that person is still there, just has made a choice not to be part of your life. Chosing to go NC for your own healing demonstrates a lot of strength and maturity on your part, so you should definitely be feeling good about yourself. There are lots of posts on "Good reasons to go NC" which really help when you're feeling blue about NC, and help you remember what is most important. You should check them out on your rough days. I wish you good luck!
Author awesomeallalone Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 thanks a lot everyone! your kind words of wisdom and encouragement.... they have really helped me out through these hard days..... i woke up today with a new attitude on things! i decided its time to let go and never look back! well not until i have healed myself.... i know that my journey has just begun and there will be other bad days..... but i also know that just like i survived yesterday i can survive others! im strong and even in my weakest moments i have hope that i'll be okay eventually because pain fades with time.....so once again thank you all!
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