gamo1985 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 IM TORN!!!! the rock(s) this is the third time in 2 years i have suspected my wife of an affair. the first time i had found some sexual emails sent between her and the other guy so i printed them out and confronted her with them. she put it all off and said we were just kidding around nothing ever happened. when i asked her to stop seeing the guy, SHE AGREED saying things had gone too far anyways. i was surprised! i didnt think it was that easy. but a few weeks later she was still working later then normal and was still avoiding me. one night i looked at her paycheck and noticed it was quite i bit lower then normal so i took it to where she was supposed to be at work to ask her about it and she wasnt there. she had been skipping out of work. now i live in a small town, it didnt take long to find her car parked outside of smeones house.that was the first time... we went through fight after fight and eventually both decided to work on our relationship. The second type was just a couple months after the 1st was settled... this time a new guy. she met hm the same way through work. he was a regular in the store, stopped in every day ordered the same stuff and sat and talked with the cashiers. well she started to distance herself from me again, quit saying i love you, was constantly nit picking everything looking for an excuse to storm out of the house mad. then she started working late sometimes she wouldnt come home for 3 or 4 hrs after she was supposed to be off. the store she worked at was on my way home from work just one road over from the one i normaly take. after the 1st quarel i started taking the road that went passed the store, u could say i was checkin up to make sure she was at work. well one day a few weeks of her distancing herself from me i thought id try to surprise her and take her out for something to eat. she normally got off of work before i did. so when i saw her car in the parking lot at the store i figured id stop to see how long she would be working... but she wasnt there, i guess this new guy would show up just before shew as about to get off and they would leave together, leaving her car there. after i confronted her this time she again said nothing was going on she just needed someone to talk to. so again i forgave her and we decided to work on things... now its been just over a year since the last problem so naturally i thought things were going ok. but she is now starting to distance herself again only this time she is actually telling me she is going to this other guys house, but when i ask why she gets defensive starts screaming and storms out anyways. this has been going on for over a week now. i finaly sat her down and asked her what is going on. she told me a this guy was someone she had been very close to before we met. that she still had feelings for him... when i asked what kind of feelings she said she still loved him, they had a deep inner connection that she cant explain. but she says she still loves me too the hardplace: we have a 3 yr old daughter whom i absolutely adore, cant imagine not being able to tuckher in at night, or hold her when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night, or to come home from work and hear her say "daddy, me so happy you home". the reason its so hard is the state i live in is a mommy state. the chances of a dad walking out of a relationship with the children are so slim. ive talked to a lawyer about this and about the only way id be able to leave with my daughter is if somehow i prove that my wife is not fit to be a mother, and there isnt much of a way for me to do that. about the only other way he said was if she gave up custody and just talking to her i dont know if she would be up for that i want to make it work!! but i dont know if i want to gamble on whats gonna happen another year down the road, and if her feelings for this other guy are still there i dont know if we can make it work IM LOST, stuck between a rock and a hardplace and need some advice
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 She is a serial cheater and will never stop. She has turned you into a cuckold and the only way you could stay married is to bury your head in the sand as she screws guy after guy after guy. She already knows that you will forgive her every time she cheats. And she knows that you love your daughter and will allow her to do anyone she wants. You need to dump her. But your history is that you will most likely continue to forgive her until you have SEVERE depression issues, which will be horrible for your daughter. Curb her and find someone who want sex with only you.
mark982 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 buddy, it's over. sorry to say. she views you as a chump, with no backbone.jeez man re-read your post but pretend it's someone else.i'd get ducks in order first. including custody of your kid. and move on. she'll never be faithful.
Bryanp Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Your wife is a serial cheater who puts your health at risk for STD's and is totally humiliating and disrespecting you in the worst possible way. She is playing you for an absolutely fool. You need to contact an attorney to understand your legal options. Are you going to bury your head in the sand and wait until she gives you an STD? It is clear that she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Nobody and I mean nobody respects a doormat. She knows she can screw around on you and you will take it. What is wrong with this picture?
TOWinNYC Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Gamo - I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. You said you really want to "make it work" but is it because you love her? Or for the sake of your daughter? Or some other reason? (financial, social, emotional) Or all of the above? To me it sounds like there might have been problems between the two of you prior to the two A's - have you two tried marriage counseling? Is your W willing to work on the M with you? Because if she's not, and you stay, I think it would be safe to say that nothing will change. Good luck.
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