Author chris250 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 This has absolutely nothing to do with religion. You might decide to call it that, but you're misguided and completely incorrect. This might be your interpretation, but that's not to say in any way that your perception is either right or well-thought out. So this is YOU talking, not religion. You're clouding the issue.... You're never going to find out on just ONE date! This has absolutely everything to do with religion. Most of my life decisions are made out of my religious convictions. Unless you can prove that you are God then I don't hold anything you say in high regard.
dreamergrl Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 This has absolutely everything to do with religion. Most of my life decisions are made out of my religious convictions. Unless you can prove that you are God then I don't hold anything you say in high regard. Then why are you here posting on a form for advice in dating?
Author chris250 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 Then why are you here posting on a form for advice in dating? Because I'm trying to prove that this site is only good for kicking people when they are already down. I don't need to associate with people who think I'm not worthy of a relationship. You are one of them! You think you are better than me and more entitled and worthy of a relationship than I am.
dreamergrl Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Because I'm trying to prove that this site is only good for kicking people when they are already down. I don't need to associate with people who think I'm not worthy of a relationship. You are one of them! You think you are better than me and more entitled and worthy of a relationship than I am. That is where you are quite wrong. I think that I am better then you in the aspect that when I come here looking for advice, I consider what people have to say. You refuse to look at yourself in the mirror and see what faults appear and how you can improve. This forum is for people who want to improve their dating life. You obviously don't.
Author chris250 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Posted January 29, 2009 That is where you are quite wrong. I think that I am better then you in the aspect that when I come here looking for advice, I consider what people have to say. You refuse to look at yourself in the mirror and see what faults appear and how you can improve. This forum is for people who want to improve their dating life. You obviously don't. I have no desire to improve myself. I love who I am. Why should I live my life in bondage to the opinions of others like you? I believe in being true to myself. Obviously from what you are saying a person is not welcome here if they think for themselves. Other people get mad because I do not let their opinions control my life. I think for myself. I don't just blindly take the advice of others. I'm always going to have faults and weaknesses all my life no matter how much I work on them. As soon as I get finished working on one fault another one is going to pop up. So why bother? I find much more freedom in accepting myself instead of trying to change for other people. This site is not about helping me to accept myself. It's more about changing in order to please other people. If other people can't love me for who I am then that is their problem. I know that better days are ahead for me after I die. God does not point out my faults so why should I? I can always bank on the afterlife to make me happy. I am not in the business of trying to make a girl like me.
LoveLace Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Well, 1st you said only 1 date per woman for life. Obviously you didn't like what a lot of LS'ers think about that. Then you said you want the 1st date to be "successful" and will consider a 2nd one, upon coming here to discuss it 1st? It's clear that you don't see eye-to-eye about your dating ideas with this forum, so why you'd want to discuss a 2nd date with us is beyond me. It also doesn't sound like a grown grown man to insist on making that decision based on a forum alone. Only you and her will know if you want a 2nd date or not, so what would there be to discuss? You seem to have it all planned out anyway, that it will go by her "report card" on you. Are you in high school by any chance?
Author chris250 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Yes a man should view his dates as a report card. The woman's interest level in me is like getting a grade on my report card. Sometimes I get an F and sometimes I get a B- and sometimes an A+. The quality of a date is more important than the quantity of dates. Seems like everyone here is putting more emphasis on me getting as many dates with the same girl as possible instead of the quality of the dates. It's better to have a good quality first date even if that's the only date than several bad quality dates with the same woman. The problem is that the more dates I go on with the same woman the better chance she's going to give me an F. So ending it after the 1st date will at least keep my dignity and ego intact. Why should I sit around and wait for her to dump me & keep asking her out on dates in the process? There is no good reason for it. I would be wasting my time that I could be using to find other women who may tolerate me a little better. And to whoever said that I should stop taking the easy way out and grow up. Well all I got to say is that until I get a girl pregnant and/or until the government brings the draft back and I'm forced to enlist in the military I see no reason to change my ways. Getting a girl pregnant won't happen because as I said in another thread there will be no sexual contact of any kind in the future and I also plan to get a vasectomy. As long as I'm a free man as both a civilian and a fatherless man then I have the luxury to take the easy way out of my problems. I'm sure all the military folks reading this are doing everything they can to get the draft back in the US because they want to force me to grow up. Only people who volunteer or get drafted in the military or who get a girl pregnant are required to grow up and face challenges.
Author chris250 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Tonight is the big night for my date. I'm going to meet her at 7pm. I've already ironed my suit. I'll wear a tie too. I'm about to get off of here and shave. After I get some sleep I'm going to vaccum out my car. I might buy her some flowers and bring them to dinner. This date will be a rewarding experience for me. I've already scouted the place. I've made reservations. I'm going to get there 1 hour early and wait for her in the parking lot. It's better that I wait for her than she waits for me. Here are my rules on what I won't initiate conversations about: No talks about religion or politics. No talking about ex lovers. If for some strange reason she initiates talks about these topics I'll give short answers and change the subject. The date will last no more than 90 minutes! I want to get home before 9pm. If all goes well and she gives me an A on my report card then I'll start another thread tomorrow where we can all sit down and discuss why a future date would or would not be a good idea.
amerikajin Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I think I can identify with some of the attitudes you've expressed. I have been generally quite cynical about long-term romance myself over the years. Even so, I still think it's worth a shake. Yes a man should view his dates as a report card. The woman's interest level in me is like getting a grade on my report card. Sometimes I get an F and sometimes I get a B- and sometimes an A+. Here's your bottom line: I think you're still at the point where you're really thinking too much about dating. You're not really secure about yourself when it comes to dating, are you? I know the signs because I've been there myself. What you're doing is basically setting up a bunch of rules and guidelines to follow, which is fine up to a point -- everyone needs some boundaries. But I think all of this is too much in your conscious mind at this point. When you go into a date with all of this analysis, you're destined to have only a date or two. The quality of a date is more important than the quantity of dates. Seems like everyone here is putting more emphasis on me getting as many dates with the same girl as possible instead of the quality of the dates. I get it. This is your way of taking the pressure off of yourself. You go into this thinking it's just one date, and that anything else is up to you. Not a bad strategy when your confidence is a bit shaken. I've approached it this way myself in the past. Here's the deal, chief. You can say that you're only going to give a girl one date all you want. You know damn well that if you keep dating enough you're eventually going to find one who will really trip your trigger. You'll have that one date, and you'll have such a great date that you'll know when you drive back home that same night that you'd be a fool to stick to such a ridiculous dating moratorium. You'll want that second date, and the third. And with that comes vulnerability. You'll have those same anxieties and fears that you have now -- except that you'll have them on the second or third date instead of the first. Rather than having this one-date rule, I think it's better if you can dig deeper and ask yourself what you're afraid of. If a girl stops calling you back after the second or third date, what's wrong with that? It happens. If you date a girl for a month and then she flakes out and goes back to her ex, that sucks, but it's not the end of the world. Be realistic for sure, but don't be so cynical and negative that you can't go out and make the best of whatever opportunities come your way.
Geishawhelk Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Tonight is the big night for my date. I'm going to meet her at 7pm. I've already ironed my suit. I'll wear a tie too. I'm about to get off of here and shave. After I get some sleep I'm going to vaccum out my car. I might buy her some flowers and bring them to dinner. This date will be a rewarding experience for me. I've already scouted the place. I've made reservations. I'm going to get there 1 hour early and wait for her in the parking lot. It's better that I wait for her than she waits for me. Here are my rules on what I won't initiate conversations about: No talks about religion or politics. No talking about ex lovers. If for some strange reason she initiates talks about these topics I'll give short answers and change the subject. The date will last no more than 90 minutes! I want to get home before 9pm. If all goes well and she gives me an A on my report card then I'll start another thread tomorrow where we can all sit down and discuss why a future date would or would not be a good idea. I hope she reads this and stands you up! I know I would. What a coldly-clinical and boring evening you're going to have..... You sound like a CEO who's condescsending to inteview a candidate whose sole job it will be to water the plants.....
dreamergrl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Yes a man should view his dates as a report card. The woman's interest level in me is like getting a grade on my report card. Sometimes I get an F and sometimes I get a B- and sometimes an A+. The quality of a date is more important than the quantity of dates. Seems like everyone here is putting more emphasis on me getting as many dates with the same girl as possible instead of the quality of the dates. It's better to have a good quality first date even if that's the only date than several bad quality dates with the same woman. The problem is that the more dates I go on with the same woman the better chance she's going to give me an F. But you see, only have on date per woman is going to give you a huge quantity. Let's say you do this once a week for 10 years.... That's 520 dates. You can't ensure that every date will be good. That's impossible. So it wont be quality over quantity. 10 Years From Now: Girl: So Chris, how many women have you dated in the past Chris: Oh only 520 Girl: Umm errrr.. yeah, I gotta go wash my hair
LoveLace Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Tonight is the big night for my date. I'm going to meet her at 7pm. I've already ironed my suit. I'll wear a tie too. I'm about to get off of here and shave. After I get some sleep I'm going to vaccum out my car. I might buy her some flowers and bring them to dinner. This date will be a rewarding experience for me. I've already scouted the place. I've made reservations. I'm going to get there 1 hour early and wait for her in the parking lot. It's better that I wait for her than she waits for me. Here are my rules on what I won't initiate conversations about: No talks about religion or politics. No talking about ex lovers. If for some strange reason she initiates talks about these topics I'll give short answers and change the subject. The date will last no more than 90 minutes! I want to get home before 9pm. If all goes well and she gives me an A on my report card then I'll start another thread tomorrow where we can all sit down and discuss why a future date would or would not be a good idea. 1. Keep in mind some women think flowers on date 1 is trying too hard...or creepy...not all, but some... 2. Waiting an hour for her in the parking lot is a bit stalk-ish sounding. 3. Instead of "short answers and changing the subject", it would be more polite to just say, "I prefer not to discuss that if you don't mind...let's talk about ____" - your plan to go about it might make her think you don't care what she has to say, and she'll think that's rude. 4. So if she's having a fabulous time, you'll look at your watch and say, "Time's up! I have to get going!"....um, no! Again she'll think of rudeness and/or that you must not be into her enough to spend more time. So your best bet is to tell her at the beginning of the date that you only have so long to be out...and don't tell her that in a way that sounds like a RULE for gosh sakes. Sounds like you'll spend more time following rules and a structured date that is pre-meditated minute-to-minute. Instead you should just go with the flow, act natural, relax and have a good time. If you spend that whole time worried about the time and topic of conversation, it'll stress you out and she'll get a bad vibe from that. A laid back guy is sexy. If you come off as anal, that is not sexy. It may also give off an impression that you are controlling and I'm sure you don't want that.
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