dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 That's just the thing. I don't want to get laid. So getting a hooker would not work for me. I look at dating as a way to have fun on the weekends. What's wrong with that? I just want someone to have fun with after a hard week's work. Why can't I reward myself on the weekends with dates? It makes the workweek more worthwhile. Then make some friends since you don't want sex.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Then make some friends since you don't want sex. I don't pay for my friend's dinners. That's where I make the difference between a hangout with a friend and a date. When I go out with friends I ask for separate checks. If I intend for it to be a date then I have to pick up the tab for her. I also don't pull chairs out for friends. I don't walk friends up to their front door and shake their hand goodnight.
dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I don't pay for my friend's dinners. That's where I make the difference between a hangout with a friend and a date. When I go out with friends I ask for separate checks. If I intend for it to be a date then I have to pick up the tab for her. I also don't pull chairs out for friends. I don't walk friends up to their front door and shake their hand goodnight. But you have no problems with rejection as far as friends go. Okay, so again, go with the escort, you don't have to screw them, and they wont think you are actually interested in them for who they are. No expectations, no one gets hurt. You can continue on in your little divine world without wasting the time of others.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 But you have no problems with rejection as far as friends go. Okay, so again, go with the escort, you don't have to screw them, and they wont think you are actually interested in them for who they are. No expectations, no one gets hurt. You can continue on in your little divine world without wasting the time of others. It would not be a real date though. That's the problem. I want to go on a real date. I don't want just a friendship deal. What would I get out of an escort type relationship? absolutely nothing. I'd be throwing good money away for nothing.
dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 It would not be a real date though. That's the problem. I want to go on a real date. I don't want just a friendship deal. What would I get out of an escort type relationship? absolutely nothing. I'd be throwing good money away for nothing. You'll get the same thing as you would on what you plan on doing: Nothing. How is it a real date if you have no interest in going beyond one date? It's not. A date is to find out if you want to pursue more. You don't. Case closed. Get some help.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 You'll get the same thing as you would on what you plan on doing: Nothing. How is it a real date if you have no interest in going beyond one date? It's not. A date is to find out if you want to pursue more. You don't. Case closed. Get some help. Wrong. I'm hoping that by the end of the date she would have the class to thank me for the great time. If a man ever hopes to get more than a friendship out of this then he better pay her way. She would immediately friend-zone me if I didn't pay.
dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Wrong. I'm hoping that by the end of the date she would have the class to thank me for the great time. If a man ever hopes to get more than a friendship out of this then he better pay her way. She would immediately friend-zone me if I didn't pay. First of all, why do you care if you get friend zoned when you wont go out with her again?? Second of all, I've never friend zoned a guy for not paying my way. I've went dutch on dates before, and the guy was great.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Well that's very gracious of you to not friend-zone him but he still should have paid. At least that's my rule. The guy should always pay especially if he is the one asking her out. I would not go dutch because to me that's not a real date. If I want a real date then I pay up. Not all women will be as merciful as you were to let it slide if the guy doesn't pay. Why do I care if I get friend-zoned? because that's worse than cutting all ties. If a woman loses romantic interest in me I would rather her be cold towards me and just not talk to me again instead of putting me in the friend-zone. The friend-zone is torture because I can easily misinterpret her friendliness and niceness for romantic interest when it's just her being nice. If she turns cold towards me then at least I won't get any false hopes of a future with her.
dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Well that's very gracious of you to not friend-zone him but he still should have paid. At least that's my rule. The guy should always pay especially if he is the one asking her out. I would not go dutch because to me that's not a real date. If I want a real date then I pay up. Not all women will be as merciful as you were to let it slide if the guy doesn't pay. Why do I care if I get friend-zoned? because that's worse than cutting all ties. If a woman loses romantic interest in me I would rather her be cold towards me and just not talk to me again instead of putting me in the friend-zone. The friend-zone is torture because I can easily misinterpret her friendliness and niceness for romantic interest when it's just her being nice. If she turns cold towards me then at least I won't get any false hopes of a future with her. There wont be a future because YOU cut the ties by choosing one date per woman per lifetime. Besides, given the theory that there's no expectation on a first date, then how much romantic interest do you really think she would have. You should be friend zoned because you have no desire to enter in a relationship or actually date a girl. As for me, it wasn't even an actual date to start with, as the day went on, I grew more attracted to him, and it wasn't because I got my day paid for, it was because it was who he was.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 There wont be a future because YOU cut the ties by choosing one date per woman per lifetime. Besides, given the theory that there's no expectation on a first date, then how much romantic interest do you really think she would have. You should be friend zoned because you have no desire to enter in a relationship or actually date a girl. As for me, it wasn't even an actual date to start with, as the day went on, I grew more attracted to him, and it wasn't because I got my day paid for, it was because it was who he was. I'm not saying she would necessarily have romantic interest on the first date. I'm saying that if I didn't pay her way she likely would not even consider me a potential candidate. I pay her way as a means to set the stage so that she would consider me a potential candidate. If I want the slightest chance with her then I pay. Sure paying for her dinner is no guarantee that she will give me a chance but not paying for her dinner will guarantee that she will NOT give me a chance.
dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'm not saying she would necessarily have romantic interest on the first date. I'm saying that if I didn't pay her way she likely would not even consider me a potential candidate. I pay her way as a means to set the stage so that she would consider me a potential candidate. If I want the slightest chance with her then I pay. And why should it matter if she sees you like this if you only will be going out with her once? Oh because you want your ego to inflate so you can feel good about it, each and every time you pull this. How selfish.
LoveLace Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 So your intention is this: go out on 1 date, and treat her as though she is special or something right? Is it just me or isn't that leading people on? Cuz it is unless you tell them the truth about your intentions. And if you do that, the "relationship" will not end on a "good note", I'll tell you that. So if your not telling them the deal, it is considered leading people on. You might not think so but it is. I understand if you've been burned in the past, but these women you will date have probably been burnt too. Human beings with feelings just like you. The only person getting what they want out of this is YOU. Just because your paying for the date or whatever doesn't mean that you won't be wasting their time. If you don't want relationships or even sex, you shouldn't date at all. If you want female company, make some female friends and be in the friend zone because that is where you belong if you don't want relationships or sex. If a guy took me out on a great date, of course I'd thank him for a good time and yadda yadda. But I'd be really p*ssd off when I figured you out and I certainly wouldn't just spend my life being greatful to that one guy who took me out on a nice date that one time. I don't think this idea will fulfill you in the way you want it to, unless what you want is to p*ss people off. Only in a perfect world would this always be satisfying for you and the other party. It's unrealistic. Sorry.
LoveLace Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 And yea, why in the h*ll would you care if she considers you a potential candidate or not? Because obviously you are NOT a potential candidate. So don't act like you are. That's deceptive and selfish.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 And yea, why in the h*ll would you care if she considers you a potential candidate or not? Because obviously you are NOT a potential candidate. So don't act like you are. That's deceptive and selfish. Because I'm the one paying for the date. So I have every right to care whether she's going to hire me or not. When I'm out on a date isn't it my job to make the woman feel special by paying for her meal and opening the doors and walking her home?
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 So your intention is this: go out on 1 date, and treat her as though she is special or something right? Is it just me or isn't that leading people on? Cuz it is unless you tell them the truth about your intentions. And if you do that, the "relationship" will not end on a "good note", I'll tell you that. So if your not telling them the deal, it is considered leading people on. You might not think so but it is. I understand if you've been burned in the past, but these women you will date have probably been burnt too. Human beings with feelings just like you. The only person getting what they want out of this is YOU. Just because your paying for the date or whatever doesn't mean that you won't be wasting their time. If you don't want relationships or even sex, you shouldn't date at all. If you want female company, make some female friends and be in the friend zone because that is where you belong if you don't want relationships or sex. If a guy took me out on a great date, of course I'd thank him for a good time and yadda yadda. But I'd be really p*ssd off when I figured you out and I certainly wouldn't just spend my life being greatful to that one guy who took me out on a nice date that one time. I don't think this idea will fulfill you in the way you want it to, unless what you want is to p*ss people off. Only in a perfect world would this always be satisfying for you and the other party. It's unrealistic. Sorry. There is something called "casual dating." One does not have to want a committed relationship in order to date. You are not in a position to tell me whether I should or should not be dating. Unless I plan to do something illegal I'm not doing anything wrong by going out on dates. There are many women who will agree to date a guy only because she's bored. Isn't that kind of leading him on too? I think it is but it's ok for a woman to date if she's bored. So why is it ok for her to do it but not ok for me to date with my intentions? Double standard!
dreamergrl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 There is something called "casual dating." One does not have to want a committed relationship in order to date. You are not in a position to tell me whether I should or should not be dating. Unless I plan to do something illegal I'm not doing anything wrong by going out on dates. There are many women who will agree to date a guy only because she's bored. Isn't that kind of leading him on too? I think it is but it's ok for a woman to date if she's bored. So why is it ok for her to do it but not ok for me to date with my intentions? Double standard! I have never went out on a date because I was bored. I will not go out with someone that I'm not interested in, unless it's clearly friendship.
fishtaco Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 dreamergrl - it's difficult to argue with chris250 because what he's proposing is not "illegal". It doesn't make sense, but not illegal. It's kind of like a guy that gets dressed up, updates his resume, and go on job interviews all the time, but he never accepts any job offers. He just keeps going on interviews. Is he allowed to do that? Of course. Is that normal? Nope. Is there a point to doing that? Nope. But whatever floats his boat. Anyway I don't believe this is what he will be doing. Watch, the second he lands girl he fancies, god will directly speak to his heart and he will suddenly experience a divine intervention, and get into a relationship.
Capricciosa Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I'd really be surprised if he would be able to pull off this string of one-nighters. Doesn't seem charming enough on here in the first place, and he would be risking rejection by just asking. Since he's obviously risk-averse, I call this whole thread BS, and another example of his wasting everyone's time.
peteyj Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Why do you even need to go on a date? Hire an escort for dinner every so often or just go hang out with friends at some places, talk to some women, and move on. Heck just strike up random conversations wherever you go with women and move on. Or join one of those speed dating things where you talk to a few women for about 5 minutes each and move on. You never really need to date them. If you have no desire for anything more than a quick bite to eat, pointless conversation, and then nothing, why even go out on dates? You're wasting time, they are wasting time, and you're probably throwing away money. You probably would have more fun hanging with friends and striking up conversations with random women rather than one on one on a date you have no desire to be with.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Because I don't want to pay for her dinner if we're just going to be friends. I don't pay for a friend's expenses when we hang out. That's why I don't want the friendship title. You expect me to just be friends with a woman and pay for her dinner and I get the short end of the stick.
Island Girl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 Because I don't want to pay for her dinner if we're just going to be friends. I don't pay for a friend's expenses when we hang out. That's why I don't want the friendship title. You expect me to just be friends with a woman and pay for her dinner and I get the short end of the stick. You wil not be getting physical with any of these girls. You will not be kissing them. You will not be going on another date -- just the one date. You therefore will not be in a relationship or a budding relationship or any semblance of a relationship. So in the end you will be at best - friends. At worst - two strangers who shared one meal together. So you'll be paying for dinner with a friend or dinner with a stranger. You get hung up in your weird own strategy of life and constantly contradict yourself. SEEK THE HELP OF A PROFESSIONAL. TALK TO SOMEONE _ ANYONE _ WHO IS IN A POSITION TO HELP AND WHOM YOU TRUST. You are just way too far out there. It is not just one of your threads (although one would say enough) it is all of them put together. I really hope you do so that you have a possibility of another kind of life.
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 I have no desire to waste my hard earned money on therapy. I don't need to talk to some money hungry therapist. This is the kind of life I'm meant to live from now until the day I die. As long as I'm going to heaven after I die that's fine with me. I'm going to be miserable for 80 years and then go to heaven. If a woman is going to friend-zone me then she should pay for her own meal. Friends should pay their own way.
Island Girl Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 I have no desire to waste my hard earned money on therapy. I don't need to talk to some money hungry therapist. Then talk to your minister - reverend - priest...? Whichever your religion is you have a place of worship you go to right? So go talk to the person there. But planning on being unhappy for 80 years and then dying so you can then be happy is wrong. Doesn't your religion have anything to say about living in unhappiness of your own doing? And if you are so incredibly stuck on the idea that you do not want any help, ideas, or comments about your choice to live out your life in misery and die then why are you coming here and posting for any feedback?
Author chris250 Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Then talk to your minister - reverend - priest...? Whichever your religion is you have a place of worship you go to right? So go talk to the person there. But planning on being unhappy for 80 years and then dying so you can then be happy is wrong. Doesn't your religion have anything to say about living in unhappiness of your own doing? And if you are so incredibly stuck on the idea that you do not want any help, ideas, or comments about your choice to live out your life in misery and die then why are you coming here and posting for any feedback? No. My religion does not believe in free will. I believe everything that happens is God's will. It is God's will that I remain stuck where I am at least for now. Some things I'm just not meant to get over in this life. In my religion everybody is going to be saved. We're free to do whatever we want and still go to heaven. Since God is going to save everybody anyway I'm free to pursue whatever lifestyle I want without feeling guilty. So even if I take the easy way out I'm still loved by God. I still get to go to heaven. I do not attend a church or any organization. Universalism is my religion.
fishtaco Posted January 27, 2009 Posted January 27, 2009 No. My religion does not believe in free will. I believe everything that happens is God's will. It is God's will that I remain stuck where I am at least for now. Some things I'm just not meant to get over in this life. In my religion everybody is going to be saved. We're free to do whatever we want and still go to heaven. Since God is going to save everybody anyway I'm free to pursue whatever lifestyle I want without feeling guilty. So even if I take the easy way out I'm still loved by God. I still get to go to heaven. I do not attend a church or any organization. So your religion does not allow free will, but you are free to do whatever you want. Troll alert!!
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