chris250 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I've thought about just going out on one date per woman that I come in contact with for the rest of my life. Whether the date goes good or bad it will only be one date per woman. Whether the woman has high or low interest level in me. One date per woman per lifetime. This makes my dating life less stressful. I'll still have my freedom. From now until I'm 70 I will go out on no more than one date per woman.
loulou101 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 are you afraid of rejection or have you had major problems in a previous relationship? What is your reasoning? You make me curious...
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Yeah I'm afraid of rejection. I'm also learning to value quality over quantity. It's better to end a relationship on a good note than it is to remain in a relationship for a lifetime on a bad note. Therefore I'm going to make the 1st date a good quality date and then move on. I want to disappear from these women's lives on a good note.
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Yeah I'm afraid of rejection. I'm also learning to value quality over quantity. It's better to end a relationship on a good note than it is to remain in a relationship for a lifetime on a bad note. However, one date does not qualify as a relationship. And really, you're getting much more quantity because you'll be dating more women this way. Oh, and how is sex going to work with this?
kimflute26 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Thats pretty lame. You're wasting the time of lot of women who are looking for REAL relationships.
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 However, one date does not qualify as a relationship. And really, you're getting much more quantity because you'll be dating more women this way. Oh, and how is sex going to work with this? I'm not looking for sex.
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Thats pretty lame. You're wasting the time of lot of women who are looking for REAL relationships. How am I wasting time when it's only one date? Most women don't expect to get a phone call after the first date anyway. I wouldn't be wasting time anyway since it takes 1 date to show what my intentions are. Women are not expecting me to be their boyfriend after 1 date. Most are not even thinking of a 2nd date until they see how well the first date goes anyway.
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 How am I wasting time when it's only one date? Most women don't expect to get a phone call after the first date anyway. I wouldn't be wasting time anyway since it takes 1 date to show what my intentions are. You're wasting their time, because their losing time out of their dating life for a guy who doesn't want to go out with them any longer because it might hurt him if they don't like him. :confused: Women are not expecting me to be their boyfriend after 1 date. Exactly which is why I wrote this before However, one date does not qualify as a relationship. And really, you're getting much more quantity because you'll be dating more women this way. Oh, and how is sex going to work with this?
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 How am I wasting time when it's only one date? Most women don't expect to get a phone call after the first date anyway. I wouldn't be wasting time anyway since it takes 1 date to show what my intentions are. You're wasting their time, because their losing time out of their dating life for a guy who doesn't want to go out with them any longer because it might hurt him if they don't like him. :confused: Exactly which is why I wrote this before They wouldn't see it as a waste of time. They have to go on 1 date before they can get any idea if there is potential for a relationship to develop anyway. It's not like they are going to think I've wasted their time just because I didn't ask them to be my girlfriend after 1 date. You don't even know if the guy would even be qualified for a 2nd date until you've gotten through the first date. So how is that a waste of time? Unless you feel that every single 1st date that didn't progress beyond that was a waste of time? I thought the purpose of the 1st date is to get an idea if the two people would be right for each other. It's not a waste of time if a guy decides that he does not want a 2nd date. Just as it's not a waste of a guy's time if a woman rejects him after a 1st date. Where do we get the idea that going out on 1 date means that I owe her a 2nd date?
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 They wouldn't see it as a waste of time. They have to go on 1 date before they can get any idea if there is potential for a relationship to develop anyway. It's not like they are going to think I've wasted their time just because I didn't ask them to be my girlfriend after 1 date. You don't even know if the guy would even be qualified for a 2nd date until you've gotten through the first date. So how is that a waste of time? Unless you feel that every single 1st date that didn't progress beyond that was a waste of time? I thought the purpose of the 1st date is to get an idea if the two people would be right for each other. It's not a waste of time if a guy decides that he does not want a 2nd date. Just as it's not a waste of a guy's time if a woman rejects him after a 1st date. Where do we get the idea that going out on 1 date means that I owe her a 2nd date? You don't find it wrong to knowingly go on a date with a girl, who may be looking for more but wont get it because all you want is one date?
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 You don't find it wrong to knowingly go on a date with a girl, who may be looking for more but wont get it because all you want is one date? Well I'm assuming that she's not going to consider looking for more until she sees how well the first date went. I don't think that would be in the back of her mind when there's no guarantee that she would find us compatible after one date anyway. I won't know that she wants more until the end of most first dates anyway. So there is no misleading here. By going out on 1 date with her I am not giving her any impressions that I owe her another date.
carhill Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 So, who's going to be paying for these dates?
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Everyone dates for different reasons. Not everyone is dating for the purpose of finding a marriage partner. Some are dating just to have a good time. If I ask a girl out on a date and she accepts neither one of us will know what our reasons are for dating until after we've gotten through the 1st date. During each date with each new woman I will take her out to an italian or chinese restaraunt. I'll be a gentleman by paying for her food, pulling her chair out, opening the door, taking her home, walking her up to her front door, shake her hand and tell her "thanks for the fun time." I'll smile as I shake her hand goodnight and get out of there. No kiss. I'll never call her again after that. This strategy will prevent me from getting dumped.
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Everyone dates for different reasons. Not everyone is dating for the purpose of finding a marriage partner. Some are dating just to have a good time. If I ask a girl out on a date and she accepts neither one of us will know what our reasons are for dating until after we've gotten through the 1st date. During each date with each new woman I will take her out to an italian or chinese restaraunt. I'll be a gentleman by paying for her food, pulling her chair out, opening the door, taking her home, walking her up to her front door, shake her hand and tell her "thanks for the fun time." I'll smile as I shake her hand goodnight and get out of there. No kiss. I'll never call her again after that. This strategy will prevent me from getting dumped. And no experiencing waking up next to a person that you love. No experiencing being loved. No wonderful first kiss. No great sack sessions. No love making. None of all the wonderful things that come with a relationship. Hell, you're not even getting a one night stand.
Capricciosa Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 You, my friend, are a 1st degree commitmentphobe as your actions are premeditated. At least regular commitmentphobes think they want something beyond a first date and bail afterwards. Really, how afraid are you that you need such a game plan? It sounds like a wonky social experiment, and as such you should let these women know that they are your guinea pigs. And I do expect to hear from a guy after a 1st date that has gone well--your plan means that you will be leaving countless women thinking they misunderstood the dynamics of the evening when what really has happened is that you are disingenuous and wasting their time. I would suggest hookers as an alternative for you. Then you will also get laid.
wierdmunky Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Thats funny, if you put that on a graph, its a positive trend lol, but only because it's an accumulation of a lot of "good", that doesn't really mean quality ... still sounds like more quantity.
dashing daisy Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 So, let me get this right. You are going to go on one date per girl you meet, and never more. And then after you hit 70 you are going to propose to the same girl 4 times, over a period of months, as long as she keeps saying yes? (Your last thread.) Are you going to go on more than one date with that girl? Or are you going to choose one of the one date girls at random?
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 What's the point of even going on the first date at all? You can avoid rejection altogether by just never going on any dates. Then you don't have to be turned down trying to ask a girl on a first date.
Author chris250 Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 What's the point of even going on the first date at all? You can avoid rejection altogether by just never going on any dates. Then you don't have to be turned down trying to ask a girl on a first date. The whole point for dating for me is to have a good time. Like I said before not everybody dates for the purpose of finding a marriage partner. From what you are telling me you make it sound like I have no business dating unless I'm looking for marriage. People have a right to pursue dating for whatever reasons they want whether the majority of society dates for the purpose of finding a marriage partner or not. I never know whether or not these women are looking for marriage until I go on at least 1 date with them anyway. So nobody's time has been wasted. It takes at least 1 date for us to communicate about the subject of marriage.
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I feel bad for these women who may for some unknown reason want to pursue something with you, only that will never happen because you only want to go out on one date no matter what. Seriously, comon, you aren't really experiencing this part of life in the right way. Everyone has to deal with the ups and downs, and to spend your life trying to avoid the downs just seems childish to me. Honestly, at some point you're going to end up taking a girl out, and she could have been the one, but you will be to worried about the downs to be able to spend your life with her. Eventually you'll find yourself wondering if that girl was the one, or this girl, and you'll never know because you never gave them the chance. This will catch up to you, and you will feel regret. Regret is so much worse then getting turned down or rejected, because if you were turned down or rejected at least then you know you gave it your all. Regrets, you never gave it your all, so you'll never know. Ignorance is not always bliss.
Author chris250 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I feel bad for these women who may for some unknown reason want to pursue something with you, only that will never happen because you only want to go out on one date no matter what. Seriously, comon, you aren't really experiencing this part of life in the right way. Everyone has to deal with the ups and downs, and to spend your life trying to avoid the downs just seems childish to me. Honestly, at some point you're going to end up taking a girl out, and she could have been the one, but you will be to worried about the downs to be able to spend your life with her. Eventually you'll find yourself wondering if that girl was the one, or this girl, and you'll never know because you never gave them the chance. This will catch up to you, and you will feel regret. Regret is so much worse then getting turned down or rejected, because if you were turned down or rejected at least then you know you gave it your all. Regrets, you never gave it your all, so you'll never know. Ignorance is not always bliss. I am aware that I run the risk of letting the right girl get away and regret it. I feel that it's better for me to risk letting the right girl get away and living with the regret than it is to risk getting married then going to divorce court later. Avoiding divorce is more important than letting the right girl get away. The only sure way not to get divorced is to not get into a steady relationship with anybody in the first place. Even if I win financially in a divorce settlement there is nothing that the law can do about my broken heart. I'll have to deal with that alone. There's no need to feel bad for these women when you don't even know for sure that they would be thinking about pursuing a 2nd date with me in the first place.
peteyj Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 People can do whatever they want and plenty of females go on dates for free food and drinks. As far as finding the 'one' well there is no such thing. Life doesn't work that way. You might find the 'one' today but in a few years that person might become a totally different person and instead of the 'one' they become the worst one. So this theory about finding the 'one' is just a fantasy. If the guy wants to go out on a date and wants nothing more from it, I don't see a problem with that... And the reality is if he has this mentality and isn't full of crap or lying while on the date, he wouldn't be wasting anybodies time. The girl would learn he's not looking for a relationship or anything and at that point either they move on or they think it's cool. Yeah if this guy is full of crap and plays games where he pretends he wants a relationship but never plans to, then he's just wasting peoples times and is nothing more than a liar for who knows what reason... First dates are first dates. Nobody should be thinking marriage on a first date because in all honesty... that's kind of freaky.
ruggy Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Yep. You sound like a real winner to me. Do you see spots?
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 I'm also learning to value quality over quantity. I'm confused. If you only date a woman once... how will you ever know quality over quantity. You are choosing exactly the opposite.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 The whole point for dating for me is to have a good time. Like I said before not everybody dates for the purpose of finding a marriage partner. From what you are telling me you make it sound like I have no business dating unless I'm looking for marriage. People have a right to pursue dating for whatever reasons they want whether the majority of society dates for the purpose of finding a marriage partner or not. I never know whether or not these women are looking for marriage until I go on at least 1 date with them anyway. So nobody's time has been wasted. It takes at least 1 date for us to communicate about the subject of marriage. HUH? Where did I say you should only date for marriage? As people have already pointed out, you're going to be hard-pressed to even just get SEX out of this little deal of yours. So can't get a long-term connection and can't get sex. Just spending money for the hell of it. It doesn't sound like much fun to me.
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