Anyone else not a real social butterfly when it comes to looking for dates?

[Brady_to_Moss]

I am back at college now and its just werid. I am not really a social butterfly and it sucks becasue i think it ruins my college years. Dont get me wrong i go out, have fun and meet some new people here and there. But nothing ever comes out of it in a relationship side of things. It just sucks becasue i know so many people who have met their SO in college or just had a lot of experiance dating some wonderful people. I feel like i am missing out yet i just am not that social as others. Will girls still find me?

[kdark]

Girls dont find guys, guys find girls. You're going to have to do all the work my friend.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Girls dont find guys, guys find girls. You're going to have to do all the work my friend.

 

 

No i know that. I am just saying is it hurting me big time right now in the dating area when i really dont hangout with that many girls as other guys but in a way i dont mind that. Just want to find a special one and i feel not going out when others do i feel like i am somewhat losing out.

[You'reasian]

I am back at college now and its just werid. I am not really a social butterfly and it sucks becasue i think it ruins my college years. Dont get me wrong i go out, have fun and meet some new people here and there. But nothing ever comes out of it in a relationship side of things. It just sucks becasue i know so many people who have met their SO in college or just had a lot of experiance dating some wonderful people. I feel like i am missing out yet i just am not that social as others. Will girls still find me?

 

I am fairly social. The catch is that others may misinterpret your social skills as serving a purpose - rather than as a reflection of you being in the moment. If that's the case, you are in the wrong environment.

 

Find something you enjoy doing and meet people through that common interest.

 

Good luck!

[Brady_to_Moss]

I am fairly social. The catch is that others may misinterpret your social skills as serving a purpose - rather than as a reflection of you being in the moment. If that's the case, you are in the wrong environment.

 

Find something you enjoy doing and meet people through that common interest.

 

Good luck!

 

 

I really want to try and meet people through things i like! But Football and Snowmobiling arnt very good for girls i think. I LOVE snowmobiling and go whenever i can. At school it seems like its harder for that and you have to find someone through a friend or a stupid party but i just know thats not me.

[kdark]

If you're looking for one night stands, meet girls at the club, bar, and house/dorm parties. If you're looking for a special one, meet girls in class, lunchroom, and library.

 

And don't go to parties specifically looking to meet your special girl. You will be disappointed every night it doesn't happen. Just go out with the intention of having the best night of your life, and the women will flock because they see how much fun you are having.

[zenith]

actually, girls do find guys

 

when I was at uni, I had several girls come approach me first

 

but from then on, it's your job to lead

 

If you're looking for one night stands, meet girls at the club, bar, and house/dorm parties. If you're looking for a special one, meet girls in class, lunchroom, and library.

 

And don't go to parties specifically looking to meet your special girl. You will be disappointed every night it doesn't happen. Just go out with the intention of having the best night of your life, and the women will flock because they see how much fun you are having.

kdark speaks the truth, this is good advice

[Brady_to_Moss]

Yea your right. Going to partys is NOT a place to find girls. I just feel like sometimes it happens but now that i think of it not much. I need to find a more formal thing such as the Library or diffrent clubs and trips the college has.

[kashmir]

Things are more balanced in college as far as which gender approaches who. You have more excited and horny girls who aren't afraid of being flirty around guy. You also have more shy and inexperienced guys who have a lot of trouble approaching girls.

 

The way I see is an individual guy needs to start off taking some risks in the beginning. Then once he hits on some success and starts making it with a girl or two, other girls will suddenly realize that they're missing out on that guy and will make their interest MUCH more evident. It's kind of funny how much girls react to a guy when he's around other women. I was once in NYC with my sister for a concert. We went to a bar before the show to eat and drink a bit. I was getting hit on like mad by gorgeous women, like they would start talking to me whenever my sister was away. Unfortunately I'm too far away from New York to get anywhere with any of them...plus I'm sure they thought I was over 21, which I wasn't, so I just used the time to flirt a bit and tell myself that I've got these hot women talking to me.

 

Do you have a girl friend who is willing to help you with your dating life? If so, go out places with just her and notice how much more the girls look at you.

 

And for the record, getting one night stands in college is NOT as easy as they say it is. First of all, almost every guy bull****s about his success with girls, so you can already assume that most of the hookups you hear about never happened. Girls rarely put out, let alone leave their friends to hookup with a guy at his place. It's happened to me about 4 times, and only twice did we go all the way...the other times it was just making out, the girl refused to go any further. My point is, you're not going to get no strings attached sex too easily even when you go out to college parties, so you might as well just forget looking for girls at parties and check out girls during the day. That way, at least, you weed out the ones who always have hang overs, skip class, and never study. Granted, a lot of dumb party girls will still be in your classes, but they're usually easy to spot.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Things are more balanced in college as far as which gender approaches who. You have more excited and horny girls who aren't afraid of being flirty around guy. You also have more shy and inexperienced guys who have a lot of trouble approaching girls.

 

The way I see is an individual guy needs to start off taking some risks in the beginning. Then once he hits on some success and starts making it with a girl or two, other girls will suddenly realize that they're missing out on that guy and will make their interest MUCH more evident. It's kind of funny how much girls react to a guy when he's around other women. I was once in NYC with my sister for a concert. We went to a bar before the show to eat and drink a bit. I was getting hit on like mad by gorgeous women, like they would start talking to me whenever my sister was away. Unfortunately I'm too far away from New York to get anywhere with any of them...plus I'm sure they thought I was over 21, which I wasn't, so I just used the time to flirt a bit and tell myself that I've got these hot women talking to me.

 

Do you have a girl friend who is willing to help you with your dating life? If so, go out places with just her and notice how much more the girls look at you.

 

And for the record, getting one night stands in college is NOT as easy as they say it is. First of all, almost every guy bull****s about his success with girls, so you can already assume that most of the hookups you hear about never happened. Girls rarely put out, let alone leave their friends to hookup with a guy at his place. It's happened to me about 4 times, and only twice did we go all the way...the other times it was just making out, the girl refused to go any further. My point is, you're not going to get no strings attached sex too easily even when you go out to college parties, so you might as well just forget looking for girls at parties and check out girls during the day. That way, at least, you weed out the ones who always have hang overs, skip class, and never study. Granted, a lot of dumb party girls will still be in your classes, but they're usually easy to spot.

 

 

Its funny because i do have a girl who is a friend that i go places with and she is very very goodlooking...and i do notice more attention with her. But i really dont think i can count on getting a nice girl by doing this..am i correct?

 

And i am not looking for one night stands at all. To me nothing good ever comes from them and i have turned down a few and the girls got pissed. All i said was that i am not going to have sex with you after only knowing you for 2 hours.

[jeffyrud]

i was the exact same in my first 2 years in college but then I realized i had to make some changes. It all comes down to you commitment to change. If you are looking to meet that one woman, you gotta go make it happen. What i am saying is that you must take responsibility for the situation you are in right now and commit yourself to improving at this one specific area. Gain some understanding of what attracts a woman. Here is an article to start you off http://howtogetdates.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/9-traits-of-an-irresistable-man/

 

I would also reccomend going out more frequently and initiating as many conversations you can with women. MIght be awkward at first but you will push through, no doubt. So get up and go get it. Cheers mate

[Brady_to_Moss]

i was the exact same in my first 2 years in college but then I realized i had to make some changes. It all comes down to you commitment to change. If you are looking to meet that one woman, you gotta go make it happen. What i am saying is that you must take responsibility for the situation you are in right now and commit yourself to improving at this one specific area. Gain some understanding of what attracts a woman. Here is an article to start you off http://howtogetdates.wordpress.com/2009/01/17/9-traits-of-an-irresistable-man/

 

I would also reccomend going out more frequently and initiating as many conversations you can with women. MIght be awkward at first but you will push through, no doubt. So get up and go get it. Cheers mate

 

 

I hear ya. I am the only one that can make changes and it will be tough but i am sure as hell going to try and get out there and meet some new girls..just not in the party scene

[Brady_to_Moss]

If i went out to say theses places like the classroom and lunch room and started random conversations with girls, would i be surprised at where some of these conversations would lead me?

[kdark]

Yes you will be. They don't bite. They can actually be kind of sweet sometimes.

[Socks]

Hey! i can sorta relate to your story. And what helped for me was to go to places feel awesome and have allot of fun. Just do what you want to do and girls will notice that your having fun and that your a nice guy. They might even approach you. Be confident and above all be yourself.

[gopher]

This may be obvious, but you will never be in a better situation to meet someone. The older you get, the less likely you are going to be in casual situations where there are lots of single females. I tend to stick to myself, and am not much of a social butterfly. At my age, you almost have to attend specific singles events, to have anywhere near the opportunity you have in college.

 

I would ask your female friend, if she would be your wingwoman and help with the whole relationship thing. Maybe she will have some hints for you to improve, that maybe she hasn't wanted to share, but could really help you in your approach.

 

Good luck!!

[Brady_to_Moss]

This may be obvious, but you will never be in a better situation to meet someone. The older you get, the less likely you are going to be in casual situations where there are lots of single females. I tend to stick to myself, and am not much of a social butterfly. At my age, you almost have to attend specific singles events, to have anywhere near the opportunity you have in college.

 

I would ask your female friend, if she would be your wingwoman and help with the whole relationship thing. Maybe she will have some hints for you to improve, that maybe she hasn't wanted to share, but could really help you in your approach.

 

Good luck!!

 

Well i would but when i asked last year she somewhat got mad..yea i know great friend right...i think this girl might have some feelings for me but shes not my type at all

 

I mean i love meeting new people, its just at college is the only place to seem and do it for me and i am just not into the whole party scene. When i am home in the summer i usally just keep to myself and work so its hard but i gotta change.

[ruggy]

Just walk up. Get up a convo. She shut you down, no emotion and walk away. Its my don't give a f**k persona (even if you do). You'll be surprised on how well it works.