OCCDAVE Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 To sum it up my ex of 3 years dumped me and claimed she needed space which she found in the arms of a new guy a week later.I have now gone a month and a week of nc and no plans on breaking it.It has also been 2 months since i have seen her.I got a text today but it was meant for someone else or so she may want me to think.Below is what the text said Hey amy Im wishing i could see into the future...it no longer looks bright I was wondering am i wrong for having a slight smile on my face im not trying to be evil but i gave her the world and yet she thought the grass would be greener and hasnt.Or could this be an excuse to get me to break nc which isnt gonna happen i refuse to contact her which shows im sorta moving on.I wont lie i do miss her but the person i knew is long gone.
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 *Shazzzamm!* Brilliant! uttely brilliant! Hey 'Amy' - Don't respond!! And sigh..... and breathe. And on.......
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 (Am I the only one to see a dark diagonal line in the 2nd paragraph, whilst looking at the top one....? ) Optical illusion. Sorry. OT. Bit like her, really. Looks good. is bad.
bubblegum Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 (Am I the only one to see a dark diagonal line in the 2nd paragraph, whilst looking at the top one....? ) Optical illusion. Sorry. OT. Bit like her, really. Looks good. is bad. Nope, you're not alone, I see it too... totally trippy. Anyway... I'd assume it's no mistake.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Wow! Well, it's refereshing to see that dumper's "can" regret their actions especially if (like in my situation too) they decide to go with someone else or worse still - an ex! Grass isn't always greener and I suspect I may get the same thing to me in the future, it's too early now because it's only been almost a week, but I know the her ex can't match me with absolutely anything he has to offer her. Anyway, yes, her text most certainly tells you that she wanted to let you know that she's made a huge mistake and is desperate to get your attention. If you are absoultely sure and adamant in keeping NC, then that's quite truly a remarkable effort you've put in yourself, the amount of work you've made on yourself and shows you're almost over her completely, be absolutely sure about this because once you go back there you're in effect undoing everything you've worked hard for and you'd be opening your old wounds plus some new ones too.. would it be worth it unless you really want to give it another go??
neverlost Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Enjoy that! I wish I would get a text like that! For giving you the old "I need space" BS and getting right with someone else, I think she needs to try a LOT harder to break NC than that... such as how sorry she is, and what a mistake it was... and then I still wouldn't give her a reply -neverlost
cabarc1 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 That text was totally meant for you!! And i agree, she has to do something way bigger than that to break NC. She set it up to where YOU would break it. Stay strong!!
nature Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I see the dark line too...first thing I noticed when reading. Bizarre!! Hey amy Im wishing i could see into the future...it no longer looks bright Totally meant for you. Hoping it will trigger some desperation in you. Her "subtle" way of letting you know it's over with new guy. Now she's thinking about you, but she is probably too ashamed to call you. What is she going to say? "Hi, things didn't work out with new guy, so I'm back and think I'll give you another shot"????? She's put herself in a bad situation now. Sometimes this happens to the Dumper. They break up, realize the errors of their ways, but then they are stuck in an awful situation because they were the one's to end the relationship, so how do they go back to the Dumpee and say i want you back??? Sucks to be them! lol
You'reasian Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 To sum it up my ex of 3 years dumped me and claimed she needed space which she found in the arms of a new guy a week later.I have now gone a month and a week of nc and no plans on breaking it.It has also been 2 months since i have seen her.I got a text today but it was meant for someone else or so she may want me to think.Below is what the text said Hey amy Im wishing i could see into the future...it no longer looks bright I was wondering am i wrong for having a slight smile on my face im not trying to be evil but i gave her the world and yet she thought the grass would be greener and hasnt.Or could this be an excuse to get me to break nc which isnt gonna happen i refuse to contact her which shows im sorta moving on.I wont lie i do miss her but the person i knew is long gone. Are you taking the meaning of one text out of its context and spinning it? How do you know this isn't related to something else? Perhaps another situation that's unrelated to your relationship - maybe she wasn't an Obama fan? Maybe the economy is bleek in her sector? or maybe one of her relatives is sick? You are obsessing, I think. If she decides to come back to you, she will.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 She's put herself in a bad situation now. Sometimes this happens to the Dumper. They break up, realize the errors of their ways, but then they are stuck in an awful situation because they were the one's to end the relationship, so how do they go back to the Dumpee and say i want you back??? Sucks to be them! lol You know what makes things worse, and that is because they are more than likely doing it out of desperation too because they've all of a sudden found themselves alone and needy. They don't want you back, they just want to be with "someone" again and the first obvious target is an ex because they think they are easy to convince and readily available - so they think. That's why it's even worse to get contacted by an ex because you're not even sure what their intentions are, chances are if they haven't worked on themselves and learn't (which takes time in itself), it will happen again sooner or later because you've taken them back in the same condition they left in - faulty and flawed!!
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Reason I know it was meant for me this isn't the first time she's tried doing this.I made the mistake of checking her myspace and it will always be something directed towards me.she has sent me text before trying to get me to break nc.last time can u plz lemme know when ur ready to pick up ur stuff and so on.like I said im not gonna bs ppl I miss her heck she was my first love.I just felt this is a sorta of a victory cause she kept putting me down and I know I have more to offer then she made it seem.I also am proud I can hold up the nc for so long I was a doormat I am getting some pride back.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Reason I know it was meant for me this isn't the first time she's tried doing this.I made the mistake of checking her myspace and it will always be something directed towards me.she has sent me text before trying to get me to break nc.last time can u plz lemme know when ur ready to pick up ur stuff and so on.like I said im not gonna bs ppl I miss her heck she was my first love.I just felt this is a sorta of a victory cause she kept putting me down and I know I have more to offer then she made it seem.I also am proud I can hold up the nc for so long I was a doormat I am getting some pride back. I see what you're saying, however, I still sense there's a lot of hurt and resentment still in your words, and quite rightly so. I think as long as you feel this, then it would be difficult to completely move on. I always imagined that when someone has truly moved on that they would be in a state of mind where they wouldn't even give their ex a second thought, wouldn't be missing them and if they heard from them, it would feel like how it would feel if a distant friend were to contact you and that you'd you'd reply to them at your lesuire, very casual and without any emotion, something like "Hi, I am fine thanks, hope you're OK". In the case of your text, if I were to reply to that, I'd say something like this: "Hello, who's this? I don't have this number on my contacts list so I am assuming it's a wrong number" and leave it at that, that is of course if you wanted to reply even if you knew who it was. I know it gives them false hope because you replied and then in turn gives them the opportunity to reply back, but with that response you've already sent a signal that you don't even have their number registered so that alone speaks volumes, then your next reply should be just kept friendly, polite and business like, for example, something like "Thanks for your text, I am sorry you're feeling low right now and I hope things improve for you, take care". By saying this you've not asked what's wrong so therefore I would expect them never to contact you again because they would have gotten the message by now that you're no longer interested.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 I won't lie like I said im not fully over her but I think the fact I can keep nc is a good sign
Mary3 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I think when they break up with us, we are looking for any crumbs of hope that they made a MISTAKE. So revel in your text but dont respond to it. If she wants you back she needs to CALL and grovel a little bit. Its up to YOU to decide if she's worth taking back.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I won't lie like I said im not fully over her but I think the fact I can keep nc is a good sign It's a great sign and you appear to be determined and strong willed on this and that's whats needed. Any dumper who's decided to end the relationship for selfish reasons, I would suspect would almost always regret it, even if you never get to hear about it, they will regret it, they just have to.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 It's a great sign and you appear to be determined and strong willed on this and that's whats needed. Any dumper who's decided to end the relationship for selfish reasons, I would suspect would almost always regret it, even if you never get to hear about it, they will regret it, they just have to.I am almost sure she will regret it alot mainly cause of what i provided.I was a father for her two kids for the past 3 years and always gave them what they needed and loved them.The kids grew on me heck they called me their daddy since they never knew their real dad who was a dead beat.Like i said she tried making me feel like i did something wrong but what did i do other then take on a challenge that most guys wont even deal with.
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Im feeling down mainly cause she could have worked this out instead of jumping into some guys arms sigh
bubblegum Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Right, you're feeling down because she disappointed you. Her lack of perspective and good judgment glows brilliantly.
lonelygurl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 really hard to say if it was sent to you by mistake or not. is your X a game player? Unless your X sends you an actual letter apologizing and saying they would like to meet and eventually tell you they'd made a mistake I would ignore it. The first time my X dumped me, that is exactly what he did. His first contact was a few months after the fact (of NC) with a letter of apology saying how sorry he was for hurting me and stuff. I ignored it and actually ended up deleting that email account so he could no longer contact me. He ended up a month later contacting a family member. If they want you back and you allow they will attempt to find you. anything isn't worth your time IMO This time around I can't get my damn hotmail account deleted.....all this stupid msn live links everything it really reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy annoys me!!!!
lilmrcheerful Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 If they want you back and you allow they will attempt to find you. anything isn't worth your time IMO !! I agree, I think it isn't worth it no matter how sincere they are, if they broke up with you for their own selfish reasons, especially if they were being unfaithful, I don't think it's worth going back with them, at the back of your mind you'd always be wondering, that trust has certainly been broken and who's to say they wouldn't do it again when they get into their comfort zone with you. If two people had broken up because of issues they had with each other, such as a clash of beliefs/morals or something like having a bad habbit, these issues can be worked upon because it hasn't interefered with the integrity of the relationship, trust, loyalty that sort of thing, once broken is so hard to recover.
mm4184 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Ugh, I wish my ex would text me something like that haha. But he has WAY too much pride and I think he's pretty much moved on Wish we could all get to that point where we don't want them anymore!
lilmrcheerful Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Ugh, I wish my ex would text me something like that haha. But he has WAY too much pride and I think he's pretty much moved on Wish we could all get to that point where we don't want them anymore! You will, I promise you.!
Author OCCDAVE Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 That's another thing we had a few small fights and id swallow my pride to say sorry and try to work things out cause kids are invoved.but no my ex ego won't allow her 2 months later to even say sorry or wish me well yet she claimed I was her soulmate ugh.I still miss her but for being a mother of two its obvious she still has some growing up to do.
mm4184 Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 You will, I promise you.! I really REALLY hope so. For all of us... it's such a bad experience and situation to go through in life... I know it's not the end of the world, but that's what it feels like some days. Sometimes I think of all these "fairytale" relationships like high school sweethearts and the love at first sight crap. I guess I'm bitter but it just makes me think that nothing else will ever come along that will make me happy again and I always wonder how these people can just be so "lucky" or whatever they are with their relationships. I keep comparing guys that talk to me to him and I put him on a stupid pedestal so I need to figure out how to NOT want him and NOT want it anymore! Ahhh!
Mary3 Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I am almost sure she will regret it alot mainly cause of what i provided.I was a father for her two kids for the past 3 years and always gave them what they needed and loved them.The kids grew on me heck they called me their daddy since they never knew their real dad who was a dead beat.Like i said she tried making me feel like i did something wrong but what did i do other then take on a challenge that most guys wont even deal with. Sometimes a girl will walk on you , all over you and use you until you are sucked dry. I would say BALANCE is the key. Is the other person equally doing the SAME things YOU are doing ? Are you like giving , giving , giving , giving and she;s taking ? When you see THIS back off the giving and allow her to appreciate you. She needs to respect you. Not just suck you dry like crazy and them dump you ! DONT LET THE WOMAN and I repeat Dont let the woman use you like that ! I know you loved her kids and her. But she might just be a succubus sucking the life out of you til there is NO more and then shes gone. Women sometimes like to stomp on men that are too nice. Show some backbone. Dont be the doormat ! NOBODY can walk all over your back unless you ALLOW them to. Now brush yerself off and go back out there when you are ready and keep posting here. Remember : Dont be all nicey nice and then post here again that some girl grated you into parmesan cheese. Just be strong . Be a man. Know when fair is fair...
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