justsomeg.guy Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 So how does one cope with being replaced? What happend in my case: I was in a relationship for 9 months... it was my first real relationship (i started very late) and it was far from perfect but it still was something. The first two months were amazing but it started getting weirder with every week after that. We spent every second together.. really, even on the first date we couldnt part and I happened to stay at his place for three days. It was all very fast and very intense. Anyway.. while my feelings grew stronger with time, his seemed to go the opposite direction. I always thought so but didnt want to believe it. He always told me that is normal for him and I am the love of his live and he would never ever again want to be with another person ever. He'd rather die alone than not being with me. Well BLABLA but back then I loved hearing that. (i should have known better.. ) Well it got crazier and crazier and at some point so crazy that I said "I need a break.. i need some time to think" .. so I said let's not talk and be together for two or three days and see if it all is really right between us. Well.. it wasn't but I still wanted to give it a go.. so I called and then I got dumped. THAT i did not see coming.. when i iniated the break he again told me that he loves me so so much and he will do anything and is so sorry blablabla.. Well but yeah.. guess he changed his mind I didnt know what to say.. I tried fighting to change his mind and that we might give it one more go but no.. he decided and didnt want a relationship anymore. He wanted to be single and needed time for himself. BUT he still wanted me in his life cause i am so important for him and all that. Well I tried that and it was hard..too hard. I still had feeling for him and couldnt handle to be "just friends" oll of a sudden. But i didnt want to loose him so I tried anyway. For him it was perfectly easy.. that did hurt me even more.. he didnt seem to be the slightest bit sad and I just didnt get it SO I tortured myself with that "friendship" for about three weeks until I heard the following. He was already seeing somebody else. Not since a few days.. but since that day i said i need some time for myself. That day were he still said he loved me and couldnt ever be without me (why?!?!) I can not say that for sure but it even might be he saw that other person even before that.. but yeah I dont know that and just hope thats not the case Well I did end that "friendship" right there and then. And with that he also was pretty fine. He just said "ok i respect that, thanks for everything and good bye" ...nice. Thanks. So what I am really having problems with is... how can one be replcaced that fast? I mean a few days would have been hard..but in this case it was probalby just one day.. and we weren't even officialy over. If he would have been just some random ******* ok, but the whole 9 months he couldnt get enough of me. At some points so much it even drove me crazy. Every day it was "you're the greatest" "I love you so much" and so on. And he couldnt handle being without me.. he even cried when I was driving home for a day or two... how can THAT... go to THAT.. nothing of it makes any sense to me.. i am going crazy Being replaced must be hard for anybody.. but that fast? man... ouch
carhill Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Short version is he sounds like a chemical (as in brain) junkie and, once that started to fade, he kept selling himself (and, by proxy, you) with his behaviors. Now he's started the cycle all over again with another guy. And, yeah, it likely started while he still was with you. Great lesson about meeting new people. Chemistry is great. Good foundation for getting to know each other better, slowly It sounds like you share that perspective, but have more experience to gain in recognizing compatibility in that regard in others. No worries, I had the same problem with women when I was younger. Probably still do, a little. Life's about learning, no?
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