TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 My boyfriend of 3 years has not called me for 2 days I called him about 4 times on Sunday and he did not call back and yesterday he did not call. We talk every day so this is not usual. I went out for my friends birthday on Saturday night and I think he was annoyed about it (I dont know why) What shall I do? I do not want to call him and I know he is ok as my friend has seen him
prettybaby Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Just wait for him to call. Calling every day of the year sounds a bit extreme to me to begin with
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 Do you think so? Is it acceptable to not return a call?
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 What, for him, or for you? Until he calls and until he explains the lack of communication, leave him be. Are you joined at the hip or something - ? 4 times in one day!? I'd call this overload. Sorry hun, but you BOTH need a bit of space around you to breathe.,....
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 But we talk every day, numerous times, so this is out of the ordinary for us. He always returns my calls and I his.
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I don't care what you do. It's too much, It's a co-dependency, not a relationship.....! Look - here you are fretting and worrying enough to post on a Relationships forum only 2 days into the situation....!! You don't miss him, you're getting withdrawal symptoms!
sultry33 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 sorry but its a 3yr rs and no contact when there normally would be.. id be stressing too you must have upset him or something? i dont think its being co dependant i just think there is more going on here. my ex called me on all his breaks.. which was a pain but itwas what he did once he did not contact me in 12hrs and hell was i pissed:sick: he didnt hear from me once in 6hrs and he sent the police rd! its only worrying if its out of the ordinary and it seems it is. My new guy i rarely call and text like twice a week but this is the way we work not everyones the same;)
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 ......my ex called me on all his breaks.. which was a pain but itwas what he did once he did not contact me in 12hrs and hell was i pissed:sick: he didnt hear from me once in 6hrs and he sent the police rd! This is co-dependency..... My new guy i rarely call and text like twice a week but this is the way we work not everyones the same;) This is normal. I've seen enough couples to recognise the difference. Sorry.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 Thank you Sultry, I thought I was going crazy! I would not mind at all if he did not call every day, but because he does this when he does not and even ignores my call, I will worry. I do not know what I have done to annoy him. If I have infact annoyed him then he should tell me, not just ignore me! I am not going to call him but I must say that I feel upset over this. Geisha, if your bf called you every day and then didnt for 2 days would you not feel the same?
sultry33 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 This is co-dependency..... This is normal. I've seen enough couples to recognise the difference. Sorry. hey totally agree;) hence another good reason why he is an ex. op, i looked at your prev posts an seems its not the 1st time.. habbit?
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Geisha, if your bf called you every day and then didnt for 2 days would you not feel the same? No. It's happened. I used to be in a LDR and we would sometimes OUT OF NECESSITY speak two to three times a day. Not because we had to or we'd go insane. But this was rare. Usually once a day was fine.... I can think of at least five different times when we didn't speak for a week. No problem. You see, I had my life and he had his. And no, it wasn't an open relationship. But we gave each other room to breathe. Otherwise it becomes stifling, habitual and - guess what - ?? Co-dependent!!
sultry33 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 in my ex relation**** we lived together so his reasons were checking kids was ok/house.. pets.. me not sure if that is co dependancy but to me it was too much i used to avoid his calls or answer out of fear of police visiting again. The time i freaked was out of his safety as his job is dangerous and again was odd for him not to call. was almost 4 yrs and i can say its great not "having" to call or reply as sometimes you need "me" time.
socialight Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 maybe he lost his phone, or it is damaged?
Lauriebell82 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Hmm, I would think it would be a little weird if my BF didn't contact me for 2 days. Maybe he is busy though? You def. need to stop calling him. Chain calling him will not get him to call you back any faster. If anything it will just annoy the hell out of him. Do you have any reason to believe that he may be trying to break up with you? He may be busy, but I had a guy that I dated for a month or so just stop calling me. It's the "woosy" way to dump somebody.
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 I don't know why I am not being called but I know for sure that I will not be calling him any time soon. I do not think he wants us to break up and yes Sultry he has done this before and when he does call he just says he was busy. Why do I feel so stressed about it?
Lauriebell82 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I don't know why I am not being called but I know for sure that I will not be calling him any time soon. I do not think he wants us to break up and yes Sultry he has done this before and when he does call he just says he was busy. Why do I feel so stressed about it? You, are insecure because you feel his not calling has some reflection on you/your relationship. Maybe he feels like you are smothering him? Guys need their space, as do girls. Find something to occupy yourself!!!
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 I do not smother him at all He makes most of the contact as I have a busy life. I know I am not being paranoid or clingy, he never goes this long without calling with no reason.
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I do not smother him at all What you think, and what he thinks may be two completely separate things. And until he calls, you can make no assumptions...... He makes most of the contact as I have a busy life. I know I am not being paranoid or clingy, he never goes this long without calling with no reason. Well honey, he has now. And now...... We wait.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I do not smother him at all. That's why I said, HE may feel, not you. He makes most of the contact as I have a busy life. I know I am not being paranoid or clingy, he never goes this long without calling with no reason. Okay, well it's happened, so continuously worrying about it is not going to make him call you faster. You say you have a busy life: go be busy then!!!
Author TerryTeardrop Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 He rang and it was all a misunderstanding Thank you
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