Raegun Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 me and my bf have been going out for just over a year and have had ups and downs like normal but i recently went to oz for a month and am back now without a job. my bf does have a full time job and we don't live together and whenever he's not working i expect him to be with me(as im bored with no job, which im trying to sort out!!). he says he doesn't want to have to see me everyday or txt me all the time when we are not together. I feel like he doesnt want to be in a commited relationship with me which upsets me and makes me angry at him, so most of the time that we are together we're not enjoying each other and there is no passion anymore. i really want our relationship to work but its just looking more and more less likely. is there something i can do to get our relationship back to how it was before i went to oz?
ruggy Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Umm, a little selfish, no? When he's not working, you want him to be with you? Loosen up or you will loose him.
zenith Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 hey there I guess kiwi exodus to Oz is not as great as it seems I think you need to give him some space how old are you guys?
Author Raegun Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 we're only 19 and 20 so yes i kno that i should give him some space.. but there are so many couples out there who do everything together ? any tips on getting passion back ?
zenith Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 hmm... you guys are still way too young and don't you think it's a bit too much to spend time with each other 24/7? if you wanna spice things up, just bring sexy back
Star Gazer Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 All couples are made up of individuals. Individuals need their down time, personal time. Your BF is no exception.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I think he's trying to tell you that he has other things in his life besides your relationship. It appears that becuase you have no job and are bored, you want him to fill that empty void. He's probably starting to resent you because you get mad at him when he won't spend time with you. What about getting a job? Or finding some activity? I think that if you were busy too you wouldn't have time to sit around and mope that he isn't spending time with you. I agree with other posters that you will need to loosen your grip up on him or else your relationship really will fall apart.
Geishawhelk Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 we're only 19 and 20 so yes i kno that i should give him some space.. but there are so many couples out there who do everything together ? any tips on getting passion back ? THis is polarising the issue. Like when you buy a red Datsun, and suddenly you start seeing dozens of red Datsuns, so you think everyone's got one..... Couples don't do everything together. Couples only do everything together when thy happen to be doing something together. You don't see them the rest of the time, when they may be apart. Instead of wanting to be with him aaaallllll the time, and resenting it when he needs a break - try focussing on getting a job, and making your life interesting. Otherwise eventually you'll just split out of total boredom. I suspect that this is why you want to be with him so much. heck, it passes the time.
Enema Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Trying to monopolize all of his free time is selfish and very unattractive. You need to give him his own free-time outside of work. Find yourself a hobby, do volunteer work, get friends. If you expect to be with any boyfriend during all their spare time, you'll never have a successful relationship.
movingonandon Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 is there something i can do to get our relationship back to how it was before i went to oz? yes - get a *job* and become self-reliant --> financially AND emotionally
RichGuy Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Or instead of getting a job, you could get pregnant and have his child. That might or might not keep in around, but in either case it is guaranteed that the baby will take up 110% of your free time, so you'll never feel bored with nothing to do!
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Or instead of getting a job, you could get pregnant and have his child. That might or might not keep in around, but in either case it is guaranteed that the baby will take up 110% of your free time, so you'll never feel bored with nothing to do! I wouldn't give that advice since the OP is only 19!!!
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