I feel so miserable..

[Icyfireworks]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t176971/

 

Ive been crying for the past 3 hours...

i cant control myself..

I feel so low.. like theres nothing left for me

i miss her so much

=[

[DSM-IV Tom]

Suicide? Over a relationship? If you were near me I'd knock you out for the stupidity of this.

 

Secondly, you are both extremely young. And I'm SURE people have told you that already right? CUZ ITS TRUE. For God's sake, first love doesn't ever really last. Accept it, and suck it up instead of trying to kill yourself. SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT solution to a temporary problem.

 

Lastly, this girl sounds untrustworthy. But you don't sound innocent either. Bad match.

 

Plus you're both so young. Did you think you'd marry her? (Not that I can blame you for this. I thought I'd marry the first AND second girl I got serious with. I understand this feeling). But logically, no, you won't marry them.

 

The final verdict?

 

Move on... and my GOD, don't commit suicide over something so STUPID. I hate to tell you it's stupid, because I know you don't think it is... but as far as suicide goes, its an ULTRA stupid reason to kill yourself.

 

Btw I like your name icefireworks.

[Surfer Dude]

Suicide is stupid solution.

 

You should get out there and meet other girls. Only then will you realize how dumb it was to contemplate suicide. Once you've been with 2-3 or 4 girls, you will see that every person you meet is special. She isn't the only one for you, man. This is the exact kind of mentality that ends guys up on the divorce forum.

 

You're young, now go out and give some ladies what they want

[Icyfireworks]

Thanks.. i know its stupid but im trying not to feel that way

I know im young but i still want her back

=/

 

we started NC yesterday and she ended it by asking her friend to ask me to send her the naked pictures she sent me. her friend told me she didnt want to ask me because she was really upset over everything and didnt want to call me when she was crying..

 

 

I feel as if i can still fix this though, somehow..

[Geishawhelk]

Oh good grief.....!

Kindergarten and we're talking naked pictures already!!

Jeesh you two!!

Stay away from dating until you harden up a bit!

You're talking like it's the end of the world!!

 

Well take a look around you buddy.

Watch the news.

Read about businesses going to the wall, people losing jobs, homes and marriages, and whole factories closing down because of the economy.

look at the far East and tell me they don't have problems.

 

No get a grip and stop being foolish.

 

Really, you have so much life ahead of you, this really is small beans to get into too much of a tizz over.....

[Icyfireworks]

Well were both in high school now

 

Thanks for the support.

I'm being really foolish

The first time she took me back after that I should have stopped

I'm hooked.

Its hard to go a few hours without not talking to her,

it makes me want to talk to her more.

I spent everyday with her and talked to her for the past 2 years.

In the summers i would wake up and go over to her house and we would just lay there and fall asleep

 

 

Right now It might be something small compared to whats in store for me in my future, but I'm just too worried about right now to even think about my future.

I'm trying to get over her though, but this whole NC just makes it so much harder..

[Surfer Dude]

Well were both in high school now

 

Thanks for the support.

I'm being really foolish

The first time she took me back after that I should have stopped

I'm hooked.

Its hard to go a few hours without not talking to her,

it makes me want to talk to her more.

I spent everyday with her and talked to her for the past 2 years.

In the summers i would wake up and go over to her house and we would just lay there and fall asleep

 

 

Right now It might be something small compared to whats in store for me in my future, but I'm just too worried about right now to even think about my future.

I'm trying to get over her though, but this whole NC just makes it so much harder..

 

Going out and hooking up with other women is my prescription for this affliction.

[Geishawhelk]

Doctor - AND poet!!

Spot on, I reckon......

[Goatsbreath]

My first real break up was tough too man. Looking back on it was probably the least significant relationship I've had but the worst in terms of how I reacted to it. You need to learn some healthy ways to cope with things and you will over time.

 

Each relationship you find yourself in a unwanted breakup you will find yourself coping a little better. I'm not saying you will not feel pain or even a greater pain but you will learn to use that pain to better yourself, not self destruct.

 

This sort of pain can be one of the biggest motivational forces behind compelling you to become the person you want to be and the person you need to be.

 

Thing of it like your a crab and your molting. Your shedding the shell of the person you were so you can grow and become a bigger person. Sure, you are vulnerable right now and it will take time to develop this person but when you do..........you will be a fresh bigger badder version of your former self.

[Icyfireworks]

My first real break up was tough too man. Looking back on it was probably the least significant relationship I've had but the worst in terms of how I reacted to it. You need to learn some healthy ways to cope with things and you will over time.

 

Each relationship you find yourself in a unwanted breakup you will find yourself coping a little better. I'm not saying you will not feel pain or even a greater pain but you will learn to use that pain to better yourself, not self destruct.

 

This sort of pain can be one of the biggest motivational forces behind compelling you to become the person you want to be and the person you need to be.

 

Thing of it like your a crab and your molting. Your shedding the shell of the person you were so you can grow and become a bigger person. Sure, you are vulnerable right now and it will take time to develop this person but when you do..........you will be a fresh bigger badder version of your former self.

 

 

Ive done my share of dating..and ive been dumped alot

but nothing hurts as much as this

especially since i have to sit 2 inches away from her and not say a word..

today we did eventually though, she seemed happier but her best friend told me it was all an act. and she started to seem jealous a little when i talked to girls alot..

[DSM-IV Tom]

I want to hit you really hard dude. No joke. Hopefully it'll knock some sense into you.

 

You need to stop being weak, and strengthen up. You need to fill your head with logic, and free yourself. You'll understand what I mean when you do.

[Icyfireworks]

Actually, right now i feel kinda good.

I don't really know why, I just do.

 

I would of stayed with the whole NC thing but i sit 2 inches from her a few times during the day, so it kinda makes it impossible.

Not sure how I can do this though, It's really hard seeing her all day, and I cant help it.

[Geishawhelk]

Ive done my share of dating..and ive been dumped alot

but nothing hurts as much as this

 

 

HOW OLD ARE YOU - ?!?

 

GImme a break! Done your share of dating ?? You ain't seen nothing yet!

For goodness' sake lad, get a grip!

I'm sorry, I hate to use the 'P' word but you do sound pathetic.,

You have no idea what pain is like, trust me. Wait until you've been round the block a couple of times....

 

And if you've been 'dumped a lot".... maybe there's something about you and your dating methods you need to address.....

can they all have been wrong....?

[Icyfireworks]

Ok, now I feel kinda crappy again. Everything kinda just hit me again

I'm still gonna try now though, even as much as I don't want to, I think its time for me to stick up for myself.

 

Besides she wants to move on. But what if NC just makes her want me back for some odd reason? Then what?

[Icyfireworks]

HOW OLD ARE YOU - ?!?

 

GImme a break! Done your share of dating ?? You ain't seen nothing yet!

For goodness' sake lad, get a grip!

I'm sorry, I hate to use the 'P' word but you do sound pathetic.,

You have no idea what pain is like, trust me. Wait until you've been round the block a couple of times....

 

And if you've been 'dumped a lot".... maybe there's something about you and your dating methods you need to address.....

can they all have been wrong....?

 

 

 

Ouch..

 

Look. I know I'm young, but that doesn't mean we don't go through the same situations and feelings that older people do. Maybe not the same situations, but sometimes close to it. I have dated a lot, most not meaning much to me, but some of them did.

 

I know I'm being pathetic too, and thats why I signed up here and posted my problems. At the moment I'm being very stubborn though, because I'm not getting what I want, but I'm starting to realize slowly.

 

 

Please stop bashing me on my age though..I've felt ALOT of pain in the past two months.. =/

[DSM-IV Tom]

Ok let's all ease up off making fun of him for his age, and focus on the fact he thinks relationships are a good reason for suicide. God I could hit you so hard for that, you have no idea. A ****ing highschool relationship turning into suicide. HOW CLICHE!?!!!!!!!!!!

 

And yes you CAN help being in class with her. Don't gimme that bs. You can go to your guidance councilor and explain the situation, and even go as far as to saying about the suicide. SHE WILL GET YOU SWITCHED. THEY WILL SWITCH YOU. THEY ARE OBLIGATED TO.

 

Get the **** out of here with that I can't help it bs. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY I CAN'T HELP IT.

 

YES

YOU

MOTHER

****ING

CAN

[Icyfireworks]

Ok let's all ease up off making fun of him for his age, and focus on the fact he thinks relationships are a good reason for suicide. God I could hit you so hard for that, you have no idea. A ****ing highschool relationship turning into suicide. HOW CLICHE!?!!!!!!!!!!

 

And yes you CAN help being in class with her. Don't gimme that bs. You can go to your guidance councilor and explain the situation, and even go as far as to saying about the suicide. SHE WILL GET YOU SWITCHED. THEY WILL SWITCH YOU. THEY ARE OBLIGATED TO.

 

Get the **** out of here with that I can't help it bs. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY I CAN'T HELP IT.

 

YES

YOU

MOTHER

****ING

CAN

 

Yeah, but that wouldn't change the fact that i sit next to her on the bus, have the same bus stop, see her in the hallway all the time and have same friends.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Ok clearly you lack problem solving skills, so allow me to help.

 

Here are your solutions.

 

 

On the bus, change seats. If they're assigned, then talk to the councilor and/or bus driver to change seats. Make sure it's ahead of her (Closer to the door), and when its time to get off, you get off first. IT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING, RIGHT?

 

So you see her in the hallway. Ignore her, or go a different way.

 

And finally, get some new friends if you have to.

 

You aren't a victim of fate, you are a casualty of laziness and inability to change what ails you.

[Geishawhelk]

I'm not making fun of your age.

You forget one vital thing.

I was once, your age.

So I'm talking with the benefit of wisdom and hindsight. But the young always protest and think they know themselves better.

I can understand this.

I thought so too.

But the reason we're both 'bellowing' at you, is because you're coming over as hopeless and helpless... and you are not. You Are Not helpless!

 

Have you no idea at all how strong you could be and what potential you have now for manning up and shifting up a gear?

She's a wussy little girl.

Don't be a doubly wussy infantile boy.

Shift the thought pattern!

You know what it's like, when you're doing a math problem, and you suddenly 'get it'....?

Well, fer chrissakes - GET IT!!

[Icyfireworks]

I try to be real strong and do all of this,

but when I feel like I can,

something just brings me right back down.

And what's also hard about it is that

we were really good friends before we even started dating.

 

I really wish one of you could hit me really hard too, because as much as I want to believe its best for me, It just wont stick into my head. Especially since all I want is to fix things with her and give it another go.

Im really pathetic lately

[Surfer Dude]

 

Have you no idea at all how strong you could be and what potential you have now for manning up and shifting up a gear?

 

Don't be a doubly wussy infantile boy.

Shift the thought pattern!

You know what it's like, when you're doing a math problem, and you suddenly 'get it'....?

Well, fer chrissakes - GET IT!!

 

I have to agree with this.

 

The harder it hits you, the more you stand to gain. I used to think that breakup with my ex was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, I was a depressed chump for months, couldn't leave my house, couldn't talk to people... but then it struck me like a bolt of lightning! A whole new perspective opened to a world that I never thought existed, I've started experiencing a completely different reality.

 

Icyfireworks, do you know what happened to me? My thought paradigm has shifted into a territory of positivity, unfaltering optimism and supreme confidence. Before, I couldn't see any women other than my ex... and now... there are too many women ! hahaha

 

Hopefully something like this will happen to you, the sooner the better. These emotional "traumas" can be very strong catalysts for self improvement and building a new attractive, positive personality.

 

And take my advice about hooking up. Talk to several girls, get their numbers, set up meetings, have fun and push into physical territory. I guarantee you will forget about your ex!

[Icyfireworks]

See, I used to be that confident guy.

Half the school wanted to date me..no joke.

Then when I met her I kinda chilled out and I fell in love.

And now it eats away at me, especially at school

 

I cant even focus on my work, I'm failing some classes now.

I'm putting myself lower and lower and its going to affect my future

But as much as I try I can never FULLY succeed.

 

Your right Surfer Dude,

i know talking to other girls would help a lot more,

I just don't feel as if I'm ready for that.

Its too soon..

 

We just split for good 2 days ago and I'm still really torn up.

I would feel as if it would be wrong to the girl that i'd be talking to.

[Icyfireworks]

So last night I didnt attempt to talk to her at all

nor did I really want to,

 

but then she texted me late with just a random text saying

 

Omg! your not on myspace! lol

 

just about the randomest text.

so i ignored it

 

i feel kinda good right now.

but i dont like how im making her feel sad and stuff.

she put her updates as im sorry, this wasnt easy. and blank.

She deserves it, but im just not that mean..

[Geishawhelk]

Icy, get it through your head.

 

It's not about being mean.

 

It's about the fact that you hurt, and you need to get over it. And the only way to do that effectively, is to cut her off.

Now, how she feels about that ,is - sorry to say it - her problem.

Her feelings and her emotions are for her to deal with.

You can't do that for her.

 

Nor can you make allowances for her, because that means giving away part of yourself yet again, for no recognition, valid reason or reward.

 

So Forget being mean.

Responding to her is being sadistic, uncaring and disrespectful.

 

To yourself.

 

You really have to start looking after you, you know.

[nature]

but then she texted me late with just a random text saying

Omg! your not on myspace! lol

just about the randomest text.

so i ignored it

i feel kinda good right now.

but i dont like how im making her feel sad and stuff.

 

Believe me when I say this Icy....I'm a girl. And she doesn't feel that sad or "stuff" as you say. She feels pretty darn good, which is why her random text. If she felt that sad, she wouldn't have done it in the first place, and she wouldn't be "toying" with you after the fact.

 

I'm sorry if this hurts, but she doesn't feel bad. The only thing she feels bad about is her own guilt. But that is not for you to control. Because again, if she felt that bad, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. I've broken up with guys before. The nice ones. I've felt bad. Therefore, I've left them alone. Knowing that contacting them would only hurt them more.

 

This girl is stroking her ego with her texts to you and her little status updates saying "I'm Sorry", etc. How arrogant. Self-centred. Pompous. Self-righteous. But most of all, degrading to you. Announcing to the world that she is sorry for hurting you. She's so full of herself, it is unbelievable.

 

Take her off the pedestal you have her on. Right now. Do not contact her and do not reply to her immature little msg's to you. Remove her from Myspace, Facebook, etc. Don't feed her ego more. Go to school, act cool, put on a smile and be confident. You may not feel it inside, but act it. No matter what, act it.

 

I guarantee you, her ego will come down soon enough. What a self-righteous girl to be doing this to you still.

 

And I understand you are a teenager, and this is probably your first "love". Teens are hard enough as it is, let alone first loves. So I can understand why you are taking it so hard. It is devestating for you. And right now, life doesn't feel worth living. But it is. You will see. Look for the good in the world and surround yourself with good people who value you right now.

 

Do not let one person out of billions on this planet make you think that you are not worthy. Sit down and force yourself to think about all the positive things you have going on in your life. Now think of people in war torn countries fighting every day just to survive, put food on the table, etc. You cannot let one simple person take away your will to live.

 

You sound like an amazing guy with so much going for you. Your self-esteem has just taken a dive because one person decided to play with your feelings. We on here have all been thru what you are going thru now. So we know the hurt you feel. And we also know you will feel better soon enough. Know that you are not alone.

 

Get angry inside, and say "no more". You don't need to partake in her games. Stop them now, and stop feeding her self-righteous ego. Remove her from all your networking sites and put her on ignore. I guarantee you will feel better in a bit.