Loss 4 words Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 My GF and i are planning on moving in together by the end of the year but she's hard stuck on moving out of state...presumebly because her best friend lives there and so she'd be closer... But i've told her MANY times as bluntly as possible that I REFUSE to move to another state...I LOVE where i am all my friends and family are close by and i know the area wicked good...but she insists that we move up there...and im totally against it.. Sure i could learn the area, but my job is HERE and im NOT driving over an hour just to go to work...i've done that before and it's not for me at all..i get pissed doing so then i just shut down by the time i get home.... I do love her, but im NOT gonna move, that's set in concrete as of now....We live in the same state now and she's going to school here too...but i cant seem to reason with her about the distance thing....no reason to move if EVERYTHING is here...IDK...im just fuming mad right now and needed to vent to everyone.... It's not like the area we live in now doesnt have anything...there is EVERYTHING here and i see no reason to move to another state jsut because her "friend" refuses to move here...that's a rubbish reason to do something just becasue someone else is being stubborn....that and the fact that she asked me if i would be interested in getting a house or apt./ with them too....No i said, i dont wanna have freaking roomates...i dont care who they are, i want to have MY place all to myself...I want the freedom to walk around in my birthday suit if i so choose and not have others there... ok, got that all out....we're supposed to talk about it later...i'll keep ya'll posted as to what's going on....
Wildguy Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I don't see the question in your thread Sir. What are you asking? Or are ya just venting?
EYECANDY000 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 For her to suggest that all three of yall to move in together is crazy. It seems like she is willing to do the move with her bestfriend with or without you.
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 I don't see the question in your thread Sir. What are you asking? Or are ya just venting? I guess im kinda asking about is there any good way to convience her that staying here is the right way...and venting... For her to suggest that all three of yall to move in together is crazy. It seems like she is willing to do the move with her bestfriend with or without you. It'd be all four of us...her friend has a BF too....that's out of my comfort zone as far as rommies goes.. I have one right now and it's cool...
Wildguy Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Well, there is nothing wrong with a little compromise in a relationship but when she is trying to make you do something that you are completely against... Its just wrong. I would not give in if I were you. It's very unfair for her to ask that of you. It does seem like she made up her mind, she is going to move in with her friend with or without you being there. I'm honestly not even sure how you could talk to her about it. You need to make her understand that you can not leave, because you have so much back home. Why does she want to move so bad anyway? You guys can't just get a place where you are at? The only reason is her friend lives there?
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 Well, there is nothing wrong with a little compromise in a relationship but when she is trying to make you do something that you are completely against... Its just wrong. I would not give in if I were you. It's very unfair for her to ask that of you. It does seem like she made up her mind, she is going to move in with her friend with or without you being there. I'm honestly not even sure how you could talk to her about it. You need to make her understand that you can not leave, because you have so much back home. Why does she want to move so bad anyway? You guys can't just get a place where you are at? The only reason is her friend lives there? Because she thinks that she can make more because there is no sales tax in the state, but they get the money other ways...higher property taxes and whatnot...we can get a place here for mad cheap with the housing crisis and all....and she lived in the state before many different times...she wants to get far away from her overbearing parents.... IDk...i get the feeling like she's pushing my buttons to see how far i bend until i walk away....like she wants me to but just can't say it like it is...maybe im irrational, maybe it's all in my head, but i just want it to end...not to mention the difference with her assumed wage (for her future job) is only $2000 difference....not enough to justify the extra driving and moving costs up front...
joeLove Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 How's the state of other aspects of your relationship? Do you both bargain so hard on things you don't agree with? Or is this issue the one where, you both don't seem to see eye to eye?
Author Loss 4 words Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 How's the state of other aspects of your relationship? Do you both bargain so hard on things you don't agree with? Or is this issue the one where, you both don't seem to see eye to eye? For the most, we see eye to eye on most issues...but this is a biggie for both of us... It's not like we've ever really fought about anything, but when we have a disagreement, it's like i cant convince her to see my side so i just end up giving in or we stop talking about it...
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Well then I guess it's time for her to start compromising, or risk losing you. If somebody is willing to throw away a relationship over something so stupid ("I just have to live with my friend!"), then I don't think she's worth it. You have more reasons to stay where you're at than she has to move. I wouldn't give in, either.
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