Sysyphus28 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 We have all periodically dreamed abour our ex. Whether it is a daydream or you wake up at 2 in the morning, you temporarily lost control of your free-time thoughts and you let it drift to the person who cheated on you, dumped, clowned you, F-ed you ever, etc. It is NOT fun! It affects your mood for a period of time and it affects the people around you. I have sought the answer to alleviating myself of this occasional distraction. I don't want to think about my ex-girlfriend again because of all the crummy memories the "coping"process brings up. I don't want to think of her because of how she has justified her piss-poor behavior. I want to move on and be myself again and get out of this emotional fog! What I have learned in the last 6 months will help me the rest of my life. ** Remember freddy krueger, who haunts peoples dreams and plays on thier fears. It's the same thing. Your fears and insecurities come back to haunt you and they use your ex as a vehicle for it. You have to derail your ex's power, and gain your confidence back by believing in yourself. It sounds corny, but deep rejection does not heal easy. A couple more negative words from your ex and it could open up a tear in the wound. Omit negative influences from your life and free yourself from the vehicle that carries your fears and insecurities. Take comfort in the fact that it is over and they can't hurt you any longer. Stay away from them. If you have to talk to them make it brief and get your business done.
kizik Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Great post. Don't give them the time of day, even in your head. A certain amount of post-breakup reflection is always necessary, of course, but dwelling leads to a lot of self-harm. A lot of you who got dumped have friends. Consider yourself lucky, as I had no one. I'm still here, and I'm on the other side of all this sh*t. Yeah, it still hurts sometimes but I am in a place where I can safely give advice based upon my experiences. I've said it before: your friends will save your f*cking life during these hard times. So make plans with 'em, become reacquainted. And don't ever take 'em for granted again. Friends are way more important than significant others, anyway, any day of the g*ddamn week.
alwayssme Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Great post. Don't give them the time of day, even in your head. A certain amount of post-breakup reflection is always necessary, of course, but dwelling leads to a lot of self-harm. A lot of you who got dumped have friends. Consider yourself lucky, as I had no one. I'm still here, and I'm on the other side of all this sh*t. Yeah, it still hurts sometimes but I am in a place where I can safely give advice based upon my experiences. I've said it before: your friends will save your f*cking life during these hard times. So make plans with 'em, become reacquainted. And don't ever take 'em for granted again. Friends are way more important than significant others, anyway, any day of the g*ddamn week. TRUE friends who make u happy yes....as in for acquantances, going out with people i didnt really enjoy that much only made me feel more alone and miserable...but having true friends is a blessing!
sultry33 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 i dont have any true friends.. most of mine are my clubbing mates.. it helped me as they always wanted to party. When i get thoughts or dreams of my ex yea im a little sad confused but i focus on something else, i cannot let it overtake my healing. i even say to myself get out of my head:sick: it gets better
MalachiX Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I agree for the most part. I think that after a serious relationship has passed, you should take the time to mourn. You should think about what went wrong, how much the loss of this relationship affected you, and what you're going to do differently next time. I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling the emotions you need to feel and using them to grow as a person. Sweeping emotions under the rug just leads to problems later. That said, once you've had your period of mourning and decided to move on, it isn't worth it to dwell on the relationship or let troublsome thoughts bother you.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 TRUE friends who make u happy yes....as in for acquantances, going out with people i didnt really enjoy that much only made me feel more alone and miserable...but having true friends is a blessing! i have to agree with this statement, i've found that too. i've been going out so much, knowing it would help to not be sitting in thinking. out with really good friends................great time, let the hair down, talk about it if i have to, but otherwise having so much fun i don't think about it. out with friends i barely know, thinking it will help..................i actually get lonely and tear up. going out with people i don't know at all......................oddly, fantastic! getting to know them better is distracting, and interesting! and i generally lose inhibitions easier with people i don't know..............kind of like being on holiday, where you feel doesn't matter, won't see them again anyway! had a great time, they didn't know my ex, or the story, so i had no excuse to talk about him. felt great!
EmperorR Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Great post. Don't give them the time of day, even in your head. A certain amount of post-breakup reflection is always necessary, of course, but dwelling leads to a lot of self-harm. A lot of you who got dumped have friends. Consider yourself lucky, as I had no one. I'm still here, and I'm on the other side of all this sh*t. Yeah, it still hurts sometimes but I am in a place where I can safely give advice based upon my experiences. I've said it before: your friends will save your f*cking life during these hard times. So make plans with 'em, become reacquainted. And don't ever take 'em for granted again. Friends are way more important than significant others, anyway, any day of the g*ddamn week. i had no friend's, family either, had to do it on my own. And I agree retrain your mind.
kizik Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I agree retrain your mind. Yeah, I mean, more than re-train your mind - spend time with people who you know care about you and love you.
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