Icyfireworks Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Ill try to make this short as possible, because its quite long. Me and my ex dated for 2 years, we started dating in 8th grade ( yeah.. im kinda young. please still listen though.) i cant stand not being with her. The very end of November 10 days after our 2 year we got into a fight and i wanted a break..biggest mistake i realized. She was fine with it because she kept saying oh well ill fix it when i get home i love you more than anything. I was still really annoyed and i was keep telling her i dont want to..and stuff. So when she got home from a guys house, (they have been friends since elementary and when she moved in 5th grade they stopped talking for a few years, they started talking again and she saw him for the first time in 5 years that day) she told me she wanted to fix it..and i was still being stubborn, thinking i wouldnt lose her no matter what. well the next day she said she wanted to see how this break would turn out. i said ok. next day she said she didnt want to get back into a relationship, she asked why and she said because we fight alot, and i said ok. next day we hang out and she wanted to have sex for the last time.. so we did. then when we finished she started crying and saying she gonna miss you so much and she loved me more than anything. for a few days after that she led me on to believe she would go back out with me, which is what i really wanted. then i found out that the reason she wouldnt go back out with me was because she felt guilty that she started liking the kid that she saw for the first time alot and they would talk all day everyday all night. I felt so hurt like i lost everything. I broke down and begged her back everyday for a week, big mistake, just pushed her farther away. I cried every night and i started to stay home more and more...i thought about suicide, i even attempted it, which is terrible, but my parents got to me in time. =[ so i stopped, and paid little attention to her. the same day she texted me asking how i cant stand not talking to her but then all of a sudden i can and she got jealous because i would say hi to all of my girl friends and hug them and be all happy. eventually she decided she'd give me another chance like 2 weeks later but she was still talking to him and saying ill give you another chance and flirting and all. and i knew and she just kept lying to me about it, so she broke up with me. Of course i still wanted her though, so i kept trying. and she was just so confused on what she wanted, but eventually it worked. about 2 more weeks later she decided to stop talking to him so she could give me another fair chance and try to stop liking him because she loved me so much. the past two weeks weve been acting like weve been dating but we werent official because she didnt want to make him even more mad or anything, because he holds grudges and doesnt want him to hate her completely. we were gonna start going out tomorrow..everyday we would fight. I would be jealous of the guys she talked to cause i was afraid she would leave me for someone she liked, and i didnt trust her really. She was jealous of the people i talked to too. I didnt believe her when she told me nothing was going on with this new kid she just met on saturday that shes been texting all day since shes met him. She said it was over and she didnt want to do this anymore..i havent changed and all. i asked for one last chance and that was it. so she said she'd give it to me. Of course the next day though, i went on her myspace without her knowing( she saved her password into my computer on accident...i shouldnt of but i felt like i needed to know) and i saw she was above everyone of his good friends on his top friends. i didnt know what to expect so i freaked. two hours later i saw that she sent him a kiss me, so i freaked again and she said it meant nothing, but i didnt think to that. she said it was over and all. I tried talking it out with her and it seemed like it was working..So i confessed to her saying i had her myspace and she said we were deffinately over. I lost it and started begging her back and everything... she told me not to talk to her ever again. and eventually she listened and she said well i want to be your friend, just give me some room. so i have been. its been one day so far and i havent tried to contact her, though i wanted to more than anything. She means everything to me and id do anything to get her back..im just not the same without her. I miss her so much, what should i do? all of my friends tell me to get over her and its best, but i dont listen to them. I know ill always be fighting for her because i love her that much. I know she still loves me just the fighting is too much. I know obviously that i shouldnt of gone on her myspace, and right before i told her i deleted it off my computer. i made a few mistakes and screwed alot up..I want to do something to fix it all. Space seems right, Im just scared that if i give her too much space she'll meet someone new and forget about it all.. I know she stills loves me alot. Now what? i really want to fix things more than anything. Sorry for this being so long by the way.....
Alex_M Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Hi.I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It's not easy when it happens, I still feel sore about my breakup months ago. You can probably find my posts from back then if you want. This is my opinion: Don't talk to her, no contact. - It sounds so impossible right now, I didn't do it. Everyone on here told me to do NC and I said, "No, I'm sure it will work out. She really wants to be friends." Well guess what, my best friend for years; the girl who then became my girlfriend, ignored me, spoke to me a few times a week for a couple of minutes on MSN and left to do other stuff. It dragged on for weeks, weeks and weeks of torture. From the most perfect person in the world to me at the time. Doesn't quite seem so perfect now. It's going to be really really hard to accept. Don't blame yourself, you had to do what was right at the time! You took the break for a reason, remember that. I know you regret it but seriously it's not your fault. Don't suffer in silence. Post on here, talk to a really close friend when you feel comfortable. I went to my doctor and just had a chat with her which really helped. Cry, cry as much as you can and let it all out. Talk to your mum and cry, it's what I did, she really helped me(If you feel comfortable with it). - I hate crying and hadn't done it in years prior to breakup but I could have sat in the bathtub and had the water up to my ears in half an hour I was crying so much. No contact doesn't HAVE to be forever, but don't be in a weaker position than her, it will never help you. You will beg her for something that she can't control. Her feelings. Wait a few months untill you feel a bit better. Seriously, at least then you can think about it. You wanted a break for a reason, well now you have the chance to make the best of it. Girls want what they can't have. Have fun, you don't need her. Improve your life, go out with friends, learn a new skill. Anything, something you couldn't do while giving her your attention. Feel free to ask for my MSN if you wanna have a chat with a guy that was in your shoes 3 months ago. These are just my opinions.
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