Beachead Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Please bare with me..this is a little long. I met this girl at work. I realized she seemed to be warming up to me quickly. I'd get her paging me to her cash for non-work related reasons, lots of laughing, catching her eyes as she passed. I took it as a sign of interest and after 2 weeks, I asked her out. She didn't get back to me..and had a bf..so I stepped off as I should have. Didn't bother asking her out again. Instead, I focused on my work and began talking to other girls. Until we had to work together. Then she hinted upon wanting to have lunch with me. That's what this girl does..she never tells me anything directly..it's always hinting something. Example..she felt the need to bring up flopping out on me and then told me why she couldn't..but then she started talking about how there was this concert she really wanted to go to but no one was going with her. She silenced up after that and just looked me in the eyes as if I was supposed to say something. She has a bf. She teases me, has a snappy comeback to everything that I say. I always catch this soft smile when she knows i'm coming her way followed by a glance. She'll continue her work..and then look up again if I approach her. We talk about anything including what we did on the weekend. She is not like this when we are amongst our other co workers...quiet, restrictive and professional. She has a bf. She's also a little weird around this other girl. We took a lunch with this other girl one time and the whole time while me and that other girl were chatting..she looked uncomfortable. She had her nose buried in this magazine and she was fiddling around with her necklace. I caught her looking at me and then back at the other girl at one point. I just found it odd that she was reading a magazine and not talking. That night when we were all leaving for home..she was with that other girl as she passed by..I said bye to them..the other girl replied back but she totally ignored me. I stayed back to check something..they passed by again..she ignored me. I actually felt like I did something wrong. Again..she has a bf so what's up? I know the other girl likes me..and I'm starting to think that she does too. I haven't pushed anything since over a month ago when I asked her out but i'm starting to think I should. Did I ask her out too soon? Does it sound like she's waiting for a 2nd go? Any tips would help
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Oh geez, move on. Unless you want to be in a passive-aggressive relationship with someone who you don't even know likes you, who also happens to already have a boyfriend. If you like a girl, ask her out. If she doesn't say yes, MOVE ON. Stop wondering about it and torturing yourself. Oh, I forgot to mention - pretend to be completely ignorant to her hints. Just smile, say "That's nice" and continue about your business. Man, I can't stand people who can't just come out and say what they want. Coy flirting is ok. This isn't.
carhill Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 OP, #1 girl is an ego-feeder. Ego-feeders will suck the sanity out of you. My instinct is that she and #2 are tag-teamers. You have to understand that women do this stuff to men for sport, then talk about it amongst themselves. It's a way to make the day more interesting and/or exciting. Not all women. Seek the "not all" out. Those are the ones who are healthy for you if you want a LTR
Author Beachead Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 But Number 2 is always talking bad about Number 1 which seems more like jealousy to me. I was thinking about that for awhile because I have had situations like that happen to me..but with this one..I am pretty sure, these two are not very fond of eachother.
carhill Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 She's talking bad about #1 *to you*. You have to realize that women can't smack you around effectively to play with you, so they manipulate you. I've been manipulated by some masters in my lifetime and, having had numerous female friends, I've seen how they do it to men from their side. The best advice is already in the thread, to politely ignore the drama.
the_pope Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I've been manipulated by some masters in my lifetime Amen, me too. The positive to be drawn from this is that you get very good at seeing straight through it once it has happened a few times. Then, it just becomes irritating and you walk away before they get under your skin. Jesus, if I had a pound for everytime a woman has tried pulling that crap on me I'd have enough to buy myself, and my friends a good round of cocktails. Try not to let your ego get sucked into it. You'll be imagining all sorts of things and analysing it from it's arsehole outwards. You don't want it to get that bad, do you? It looks as if it already is. The best and strongest women by a long way are the ones who don't do this, even if they know how. Rare, but out there.
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