PcPaNGELdUSTt Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 so i was dating this girl for about 5 months i always wanted to see her and be with her but getting her to hang out with me was like pulling teeth, she never wanted to hang out with my friends and she never wanted me to hang out with her friends. she barely ever even wanted to hang out alone, but when we did we had the best times. her never wanting to see me eventually lead to our break up. i went NC for about a month when i got a txt saying she wanted me to come get her. so we end up talking again and shes been calling me bubby and that she misses me and that she is interested but everytime i ask her to hang out theres always some excuse as to why she cant, i see her maybe once every 2 weeks if im lucky. why is her getting to hang out with me so god damn difficult? help?
Frankasy Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Reading your post lead me to think 2 things: 1. I'm guessing that she's younger than you. Younger women are always inexperienced or in most cases. The only younger girl I've ever been with was pretty much like yours, in fact she was also more annoying cause she would change her mind every second. I only stayed about a week with her before I broke up. So in other words try to play a kinda cool and brave bf figure. Let her know that she has nothing to worry about and that she'll have a blast when with you. Try it with both words and actions. 2. She's probably hiding something from you which would explain her excuses all the time. The thing that comes to my mind is that she has a curfew and is ashamed to admit it so she always makes dumb excuses to be back home on time. I had a gf like this one too. Anyways these are just my guesses to your problem.
Author PcPaNGELdUSTt Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 thanks for the input but i am only a few months older then her and she has no curfew, she lives with her friends mom who doesnt care what they do or when they come home. i have tried making it extremely fun when we hang out and we do have fun so im really confused. you may have somethign with the hiding something from me statement ... but all this time?
Frankasy Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 thanks for the input but i am only a few months older then her and she has no curfew, she lives with her friends mom who doesnt care what they do or when they come home. i have tried making it extremely fun when we hang out and we do have fun so im really confused. you may have somethign with the hiding something from me statement ... but all this time? It's gonna sound a bit "dramatic" but everyone has their secrets. Believe me unless you drug her into telling the truth(Don't get me wrong, not encouraging you to do it), there's no way how you'll find out what she's hiding from you. In your case I suggest that you just use words cause actions will effect her but will still be worthless in the end. Just tell her how you feel, what's been bothering you about her. In your case honesty is the best option. Um the other option is that she's seeing someone else but it's highly unlikely, believe me so don't worry about this for now. By the way if you don't mind me asking, how old are you two?
fivefive Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I can relate 2 you. This girl I was interested in, seemed 2 have every excuse why she couldn't hang out. She always came up with excuses like, " already made plans with my friends,.. I'm busy" blah, blah ,blah. It's frustrating because you dont' know if shes just genuinely busy or if she really just doesn't want 2 hang out. This led me 2 stop talking 2 her because it seemed she just wanted an ego booster. My advice is to keep trying just dont become too attacched. See if other girls want 2 hang out and see if this will make her jealous and change her mind.
Author PcPaNGELdUSTt Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 I actually went off on her last night about it, how it was the reason we broke up and she talks all of this **** but never wants to hang out how if she actually cared i would of seen her by now , she responded with "what is going on with you" and stuff like "wow ttyl" and "i dont want to fight with you iv been sick" we are both 19.
Author PcPaNGELdUSTt Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 fivefive ... it is the most frustrating thing ever. i want to be with her every waking moment. but i hardly ever see her.
Frankasy Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I actually went off on her last night about it, how it was the reason we broke up and she talks all of this **** but never wants to hang out how if she actually cared i would of seen her by now , she responded with "what is going on with you" and stuff like "wow ttyl" and "i dont want to fight with you iv been sick" we are both 19. I see. Well again she's avoiding you. Apparently she just wants to play. Acts horrible when she's with you and acts like she needs you when you two are apart. If she's not special to you, which judging from my view she isn't, I suggest that you just dump her and never contact her again. Or do as the user below my second post said, make her jealous, don't get attached to her which is the most important thing. Believe me there are plenty more fish in the sea. Go out there and have fun because frankly, she's not worth all this suffering from you.
Author PcPaNGELdUSTt Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 actually im madly in love with her. when she said "wow, ttyl." i said "thats right, run coward. It's what your best at." and when we hang out its like were dating again, we kiss, cuddle, and sleep together.
Frankasy Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 actually im madly in love with her. when she said "wow, ttyl." i said "thats right, run coward. It's what your best at." and when we hang out its like were dating again, we kiss, cuddle, and sleep together. Hmmm I see. Your hands are pretty much tied up now. The best advice I can give you is be careful, don't let your love for her blind you completely, keep in mind that a woman can turn from beautiful into ugly in seconds so try to be cold on some things, in other words first enter with your feet than your head if you try to see where I'm going. Keep in mind that a woman can even put the devil in a bottle as they say. Just look out and don't do any actions unless you're pretty sure, if you have doubts stop and think about 'em until you're sure.
Author PcPaNGELdUSTt Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 i just said "yo can you chill tonight? if not then dont bother talking to me again." she said "wow. are you serious?" i said "later!" and sighned offline.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Could be that she just doent want to get serious. She probaly enjoys hanging out with you, but just not as much to the point where the relationship will start to go to the next step.
BlueHarvest Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Ultimatums are really a never good conflict resolution in a relationship...
hatguy Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Yikes... I dated a chick like this once. In the end she didn't really want me, but she didn't want anyone else to have me either. You have to look out for those :S
Lauriebell82 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 actually im madly in love with her. when she said "wow, ttyl." i said "thats right, run coward. It's what your best at." and when we hang out its like were dating again, we kiss, cuddle, and sleep together. Wow, that's kind of cruel. What did she say "wow, ttyl" about? You told her you were in love with her? That's kind of mean what you said back to her as well. How old are you guys? My first thought that was that: a) she's not into you, she is into the attention b) she already has a boyfriend and is cheating, hence all her "excuses" c) she's just flaky and can't make up her mind what she wants (I know flaky girls, it sucks trying to hang out with them!)
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