FIREMAN Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Don't know if it's over or not. After 3 yrs together, we had an argument this past wknd. She felt she was keeping me from what I want, because I keep asking her where things are going and she doesn't know. She said she felt bad she keeps hurting me and that I've been unhappy w\her. She continued to say She loves me more than anything and always wants the best for me. Says she's never loved someone this much or this deep, but she hates seeing me in pain. I said there were really only 2 options- to try to fix it or to go our own ways. We didn't discuss it anymore. She then said she hasn't felt sexual lately. She thinks she's going thru early menopause or her pill is killing her libido. She's been like this since she changed pills. We ended the call w\no decision. She said "I'll talk to you l8r" and I said "ok bye". We haven't talked since and that was on Sat. Should I call her or what? Wait a few days? How can we fix this? We still love eachother, but the sex is missing and I think we can get that part back. Sometimes she feels sexy, but rarely. What should I do?
durotto Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 talk to her .. listen to what she has to say .. I am an eternal optimist .. so I say that maybe you should by her some flowers and chocolates and then sit and talk with each other . Anger / silence never resolves issues but only widens gaps in relationships . but if the gaps are chasms then nothing can be done .. but do remember that you tried and that will help you if you do break up .. I am not sure about the libido stuff .. I am guessing . but is she pregnant by any chance ??? talk to a doctor .. and see what can be done .. Its too early to call quits on a relationship so like I said work on it .. lemme know how things work out ..
Author FIREMAN Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Unfortunately, I don't know if she wants to talk about it anymore. It sounded like she's tired of dealing with it. It's gotten to a point that we've argued once a month about her being withdrawn(which consequently is the week of her PMS every time). It gets better for a week, then as we get closer again, she pulls back. It's emotionally draining and I think she's had enough. This is the 1st time I learned that our arguement from 6 months ago still bothered her and was a strong factor in the way she's been acting. How do I get her to sit and talk about this with me w\o her feeling weird about it, esp if she's about to give up on us?
Chinook Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 It sounds a little to me like you guys are maybe sexually mis-matched. This isn't necessarily an issue which can't be fixed but it does need a lot of patience and understanding on both sides. I read a book some time ago by Dr Patricia Love (The Truth About Love) and whilst it explains about the cycles of love within a committed relationship, it also details the issue of being sexually mis-matched and how to handle it. I'm not usually a fan of self-help books and self-diagnosis but this book was actually useful to me in learning about relationship cycles. If you google relationship cycle you may well find alot of your issues within the information you find. Additionally, it actually is possible that her birth control pills are the cause of loss of libido. Some of them cause that to be a problem. If she really doesn't want to fix things then I suggest you have a serious problem. If she does want to fix things, then you can maybe put these things to her and together maybe you can find a solution without laying blame on each other.
Author FIREMAN Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 She switched pills over a yr ago from one pill to the YAZ. Prior to the YAZ, she was a complete bitch, had bad migraines, acne, etc. She switched to YAZ and altho her attitude improved, she's always tired and the sex cut back a lot, to almost nothing. She has irregular periods now to the point she thought she was pregnant (she isn't). She bleeds and then bleeds again 2 wks l8r. Sometx's heavy, sometimes weak. It's all over the chart. She has a dr appt in Feb. How do I convince her to give this a chance till then to see if that's the issue?
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