Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Girls like my hair. I would not marry a woman, and come home with a shaved head because it is easier. I would also like to look good for when we go out into public together. If I really had to shave my head, or really wanted to, I would run it past my wife first. An ex wanted to do that, shave off his thick black hair for the summer, he was super athletic and for the sports he participated in he claimed it was a lot more practical to have a shaved head. I stongly urged him not to as I loved his thick black hair. Then he did not, of course. It became the running joke between us and he would threaten to shave off his hair and I would "beg" him not to. It's great we could laugh about it but would have absolutely hate it if he went through with it and just showed up at home with no hair. If long hair is such a hindrance for some women, why do they have it long when single? Why not always have it short? From reading these threads I realize many women have a tough time cooking, and now they can't take care of their own hair without drama and problems? It's an affliction of sorts, it's burgeoise depression. You have everything you could possibly want and things come easily so you have the luxury of becoming apathetic. But some men are just as guilty of this. It's not just some women.
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 For the record, he wears the EXACT same color shirt every single day, and doesn't change his hair style ever. I have way more to complain about than he does but I don't, because he's cute and I love him. Melanie? Is that you? They are not the same color, I have 2 in green also you know ....
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Melanie? Is that you? They are not the same color, I have 2 in green also you know .... ROFL. That's funny, because green is the color he wears every day.
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Just for fun, I phoned up my honey and asked him what he thought if I got a Halle Berry haircut. He said he honestly didn't care what length my hair was, as long as I was still committed to him. I adore this man! Awww, sweet!!
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 What if a woman (or a man) just likes a particular cut? While I think it's important to consider your SO's feelings, I think your own feelings count more when it comes to the way you look. You should like the way you look and feel confident, so YOUR opinions about yourself should count first. And it's not a gender thing. That goes for women OR men. Well then you should have that from the get go don't introduce it years down the road and after you know the other person will hate it. That's my point. There are plenty of men who like short hair on women or like it either way, but if you know your partner will hate it why do it against their wishes? I don't care if you have short or long hair as a woman I am arguing the fact that if your partner hates it I don't see why you would want to do that? While you do need to keep your individulality in your relationship doing something body altering WILL and CAN affect your interaction with your mate. It's like if my guy suddenly decides to get a hideous tatoo across his entire arm or across his entire back. Blechhhhhh that would so off putting to me, I don't care for tattoos and the reason I fell for the guy is because he did not have tatoos so why would I later "suddenly" enjoy looking at some huge crazy ass dragon on his back? I've never met anyone who intentionally got their hair cut in a hideous way just to annoy their SO. I think that's a given! Again, who said anything about getting a purposeful "hideous cut"? Cutting it off apparently is hideous enough for some guys, even if the haircut is beautiful.
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I just asked my boyfriend if he'd still be attracted to me if I got my hair cut super short like Halle Berry. He said (verbatim), "Yes. Why? Are you thinking about trying something new?"
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I just asked my boyfriend if he'd still be attracted to me if I got my hair cut super short like Halle Berry. He said (verbatim), "Yes. Why? Are you thinking about trying something new?" Keepers, baby, keepers!
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Well then you should have that from the get go don't introduce it years down the road and after you know the other person will hate it. That's my point. There are plenty of men who like short hair on women or like it either way, but if you know your partner will hate it why do it against their wishes? I don't care if you have short or long hair as a woman I am arguing the fact that if your partner hates it I don't see why you would want to do that? While you do need to keep your individulality in your relationship doing something body altering WILL and CAN affect your interaction with your mate. We're going to have to disagree. I think someone's hair is their own right. No matter what hair cut my boyfriend got, no matter if he gained or lost a ton of weight, I'd love him the same. In fact, he DID gain about 40 pounds at one point, and I loved him and was just as attracted to him as I was before the weight gain and again now that he's lost it. If I really wanted a super cute cut that *I* really liked, and my boyfriend wasn't attracted to me anymore, or didn't want to date me anymore, I'd show him the door. I don't purposely upset him, but when it comes to my body, my own opinions come first. Likewise, he has every right to break up with me over a haircut, although that would show me what kind of person he is. My boyfriend is a "baconarian." I've been a vegetarian for 17 years. I'd never eat meat again just because it would make him happy. I do what makes ME happy. Hopefully he likes it. If not, there's the door. But I don't alter myself on another's whim unless it also pleases me.
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 We're going to have to disagree. I think someone's hair is their own right. No matter what hair cut my boyfriend got, no matter if he gained or lost a ton of weight, I'd love him the same. In fact, he DID gain about 40 pounds at one point, and I loved him and was just as attracted to him as I was before the weight gain and again now that he's lost it. Let's just hope he acts the same if you ever gain 40lbs, men are just not wired the same way we are. Short hair is not an issue for your guy, that's great!! But for some men it is. So your situation is irrelevant here since your guy does not have an issue. This thread is about men who do have an issue. If I really wanted a super cute cut that *I* really liked, and my boyfriend wasn't attracted to me anymore, or didn't want to date me anymore, I'd show him the door. Well if you ever do anything to put him off to such extent I think that will be the least of your worries, the showing him the door part, I would think he would have found the door all on his own. I think that is a very dangerous attitude to have in relationship with someone you love the "if he doesnt' like it there is the door" bit. But to each their own I suppose.
Stockalone Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Some of the responses within this thread state that men would walk or take passive-aggressive action if their SOs were to cut their hair. That's very extremist action for something as superficial as hair length. Only if the woman cuts her hair so short that I find it awful. And there is short and then there is just awful. In a relationship there should be nothing that you decide on your own if your SO is bothered by your choice. The only thing that comes to mind is the decision to walk away and end the relationship. If one partner is bothered, a compromise if at all possible needs to be reached. You wouldn't redecorate the entire home you both share in bright pink without asking your SO, now would you? To give you an example of short and too short (= awful) haircuts: Picture 1: A bit over the shoulders. Very nice and what I would prefer. http://www.prohaircut.com/gallery/alyssa_milano_l_99145.jpg Picture 2: About chin-length, but still very nice. http://www.poster.net/milano-alyssa/milano-alyssa-photo-xxl-alyssa-milano-6216353.jpg Picture 3: Short. Not great, but it wouldn't bother me. http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r101/xwherexdoxwexgo/Alyssa%20Milano/alyssa-milano-1024x768-21087.jpg Picture 4: Awfully short. Makes me cringe. http://www.beautyriot.com/article.php?id=1901&c_id=54
Enema Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yeah, you have to have the right shape for it and I think such a drastic change in appearance should be something you discuss with your partner! My wife (asian) recently went platinum blonde. She asked me if I minded first and I didn't, but it was nice to be asked.
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I think that is a very dangerous attitude to have in relationship with someone you love the "if he doesnt' like it there is the door" bit. But to each their own I suppose. I agree, I think we need to be a lot more considerate of the ones we love than that.
Citizen Erased Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yeah, you have to have the right shape for it and I think such a drastic change in appearance should be something you discuss with your partner! My wife (asian) recently went platinum blonde. She asked me if I minded first and I didn't, but it was nice to be asked. Well I just changed my hair colour completely without consulting my boyfriend. Why would I? Half of the time when I walk into the hairdresser I don't know what is going to be done. Or is it only when you've been married for a million years that it matters?
boxing123 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I am surprised at the tone some women have on this site. I do not think it is indicative of the vast majority of the female population. I dated all types of women, and I notice 2 things.. 1. Hair is very important to them 2. They ALWAYS ask what I think about any changes they might do to it. Often times women I dated ask how I prefer they wear it. Up, down, etc. I dated one girl who was stunning with it up, and she wore it like that more often because I preferred it. Never, and I mean never have I dated anyone with so much drama, or such a militant attitude that they would say "I'm chopping my hair if you like it or not, you know where the door is!", or "This hair is sooooo hard to take care of! If it stays wet it will turn moldy! I cannot deal with it, it takes me hours!" And I dated plenty of girls with very thick hair.
Isolde Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I have long curly hair but I am often tempted to wear it shorter, like in a shoulder length layered cut. Thankfully my hair curls pretty nicely on its own so it is pretty much wash and go. I would never straighten my hair for a guy. That is so damaging to hair.
alphamale Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Just for fun, I phoned up my honey and asked him what he thought if I got a Halle Berry haircut. He said he honestly didn't care what length my hair was, as long as I was still committed to him. I adore this man! he's a smart guy. but me personally? i would have given you my honest opinion
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 he's a smart guy. but me personally? i would have given you my honest opinion That was his honest opinion. I've seen pics of his ex-wife. She had short, short hair when he married her and kept it that way. Hair wasn't the dealbreaker. Stock, redecorating the house and chopping off a foot of personal hair are completely different things. We can debate until the cows come home but I don't think we're going to agree on this one. People own their own bodies and don't vow to their spouses that they won't cut their hair. They vow to love, honour and cherish, forsaking all others, until death do them part.
alphamale Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 People own their own bodies and don't vow to their spouses that they won't cut their hair. They vow to love, honour and cherish, forsaking all others, until death do them part. can a married man vow to get a vasectomy unilaterally?
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 can a married man vow to get a vasectomy unilaterally? I believe they can in Canada. Feel free to correct me, anyone! Legally, a consent isn't required. I would push any doctor that required anything that wasn't within legal requirements! And anyways, I totally disagree with any requirement for spousal consent, be it tubal ligation or vasectomy. Your body, your choice. I'm very much a personal freedom within reason, kinda' person.
JamesM Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Just for fun, I phoned up my honey and asked him what he thought if I got a Halle Berry haircut. He said he honestly didn't care what length my hair was, as long as I was still committed to him. I adore this man! I just asked my boyfriend if he'd still be attracted to me if I got my hair cut super short like Halle Berry. He said (verbatim), "Yes. Why? Are you thinking about trying something new?" Two guys who had the opportunity to prepare an answer. Two guys who have learned to say the right thing. Notice neither said that they would like their SOs better with that hairstyle. Neither of them said they would actually like such a haircut. One said he would still be attracted, the other gave a vague "I will still love you if you love me" kinda answer. Gotta love those guys for their diplomacy. Now it would have been a better test if you came home with the haircut and then surprised him with a "What do you think, dear?" THEN we have a real test. I usually give my wife an honest answer...good or bad. If it looks good, I tell her. If it doesn't, I tell her. HOW I tell her is important, and that is why I like a fair warning.
johan Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I prefer longer hair in general. I think this thread is about a woman who at some point along the way stops trying to have sex appeal. The hair goes, she puts on weight, she changes her wardrobe to be more practical, no more sexy underwear. You can't blame a guy for noticing the change and reading something into it. A lot of guys also let themselves go out of laziness. I don't think I'll do that, but who knows.
Citizen Erased Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I prefer longer hair in general. I think this thread is about a woman who at some point along the way stops trying to have sex appeal. The hair goes, she puts on weight, she changes her wardrobe to be more practical, no more sexy underwear. You can't blame a guy for noticing the change and reading something into it. A lot of guys also let themselves go out of laziness. I don't think I'll do that, but who knows. In their defence, the sexy underwear probably doesn't fit anymore. You know, with the mentioned weight gain.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Two guys who had the opportunity to prepare an answer. Two guys who have learned to say the right thing. Notice neither said that they would like their SOs better with that hairstyle. Neither of them said they would actually like such a haircut. One said he would still be attracted, the other gave a vague "I will still love you if you love me" kinda answer. Gotta love those guys for their diplomacy. Now it would have been a better test if you came home with the haircut and then surprised him with a "What do you think, dear?" THEN we have a real test. I usually give my wife an honest answer...good or bad. If it looks good, I tell her. If it doesn't, I tell her. HOW I tell her is important, and that is why I like a fair warning. Ha! You can spin it all you want but that was his response! Words are his profession. Smart man!
The Collector Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 TBF, what if you're man said something like 'Hmm, of course you can do what you like with your hair and I'll still love you, but to be honest I love your long hair so much I think it would be a shame to have it all cut off. I think I prefer it longer.' Would you still go for the Halle Berry?
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Truth be told, the Collector, that comment won't come up with me. I like long hair but...it's my personal preference and freedom of right to look the way I want to. Same goes for women who want short hair. It honestly floors me that something this trivial, could make men want to hold a relationship hostage or walk away. This is quite an eye-opener and certainly doesn't help my cynicism, one bit.
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