Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 You don't have to style it for hours, or have it down to your ass, just don't cut it all off. It's an effort you are happy to make when single, and if you give it up when you've snagged a partner, it's rude and selfish. We men shave every day. It kinda hurts. But you women tend to prefer it clean-shaven, so we do it. A partner isn't to be snagged. A partner is someone who wants to be with you, not solely for the length of your hair.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Sorry but that's an axcuse, being a new mom is hard but tying your hair up only takes two minutes and if that is what you would look like if you cut it off anyway there is no difference between having short hair and washing it and tying up long hair. I will strongly have to disagree. How long is your hair right now? How much time does it take to wash and dry longer hair? I can't just tie back my wet hair. It's so thick that even if it's partially dried, it stays wet all day, if it's tied back. I kid you not. It's not terribly hygienic to let your hair mold.
The Collector Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Imagine a woman with a new baby. Don't you think it rude and selfish for a man to expect her to maintain her long hair, just for his sexual preferences? How much time do you suppose a new mother has? It's one thing if she prefers it that way and is willing to allocate her time towards the maintenance of long hair. Of course the time spent on hair, will come out of time that could be spent in other ways. Heh, soon the 'maintenance' of long hair will creep up to 3-4 hours a day and will involve physical pain and shortened life-span... oh the pain and effort of simple grooming. There are plenty of not-short styles that a woman can have that take minimum effort, which is why we don't see a majority of new mothers reaching for the trimmers.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Heh, soon the 'maintenance' of long hair will creep up to 3-4 hours a day and will involve physical pain and shortened life-span... oh the pain and effort of simple grooming. There are plenty of not-short styles that a woman can have that take minimum effort, which is why we don't see a majority of new mothers reaching for the trimmers. Actually, most of my g/fs did cut their hair when they were pregnant. After they had more time when their babies became kindie age, they've allowed their hair to grow back. Many have two children, of which this unique act was facilitated twice. OH NOES!
The Collector Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 A partner isn't to be snagged. A partner is someone who wants to be with you, not solely for the length of your hair. Who said 'solely'? Oh no one did. Is the use of the word 'snagged' so egregious? Of course not, unless you are just looking for absolutely anything to contradict. Look nice and attractive for your partner, simple. There are a number of people of both sexes who let go once their in a relationship, especially marriage. If they both do, fine. If one is trying to keep attractive, not get fat, etc, and the other gives up because it's easier, that's not fair.
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 The next door neighbor has 3 kids and crazy-thick long hair she can sit on, so I guess some women are just more capable than others. Men are attracted to a large degree by appearance and for a woman to radically alter her appearance in a way that is not immediately and easily reversible is inconsiderate. It says a lot about her and how she views the relationship to do this without any discussion. The man who suddenly starts wearing gross or inappropriate hats can stop doing it if it offends his GF or wife, but if he refuses to consider her feelings THAT would also say a lot about how he views her and the relationship. Maybe he can avoid wearing the hat around her? Pure relationship genius, I should start a second career!
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I will strongly have to disagree. How long is your hair right now? How much time does it take to wash and dry longer hair? My hair is down just past my shoulder blades but layerd. Sure it takes some time to style, my whole shower, styling, makeup and dressing to stepping out of the house routine takes an hour sometimes a little less. But when I am pressed for time I blowdry it and just clip it up or wear a low pony tail or two braids for the gym, whatev. My hair is totally managable I guess I am lucky in that respect. I can appreciate women with very thick hair have a rough go at it. I can't just tie back my wet hair. It's so thick that even if it's partially dried, it stays wet all day, if it's tied back. I kid you not. It's not terribly hygienic to let your hair mold. Well hair down to your butt prob doesn't help either. Maybe if it were a little bit more medium length you could do more with it?!?!? :laugh: Hair does not mold if you let it dry on its own, the healthiest hair you will ever see is of women that don't blow dry their hair it does NOT get "moldy", hair is already dead remember? Look at guys with long hair they have the healthiest hair around that's because they let it dry naturally.
fral945 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I think most women with really short hair look like more masculine and more like lebsians (with a few exceptions). I've never seen a woman that looked better with very short hair as described by the OP. I don't think I'll ever understand why a straight, single woman looking for men would purposely cut her hair very short (barring some medical/health reasons). Having long hair is not the end of the world, but it does take away from a feminine look.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Who said 'solely'? Oh no one did. Is the use of the word 'snagged' so egregious? Of course not, unless you are just looking for absolutely anything to contradict. Look nice and attractive for your partner, simple. There are a number of people of both sexes who let go once their in a relationship, especially marriage. If they both do, fine. If one is trying to keep attractive, not get fat, etc, and the other gives up because it's easier, that's not fair. Some of the responses within this thread state that men would walk or take passive-aggressive action if their SOs were to cut their hair. That's very extremist action for something as superficial as hair length. As for looking nice and attractive, that's very subjective. Women with short hair, healthy bodies and minds ARE attractive, just not necessarily within in the narrow confines of their SOs expectations. Let's pretend that a man and a woman become "an item" in the 1980's. The woman loves the way he dressed! He then suddenly decided he looked dated in 2009 and updated his wardrobe. Would it be reasonable for the woman to walk or take passive-aggressive action within the relationship, basically holding the relationship hostage, until he changed back to his 1980's wardrobe?
Stockalone Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Stock, if he wants to grow dreadlocks, that's a health issue. You can't keep dreadlocks hygienically clean. A beard or facial hair can equate to skin rashes or burns on women's sensitive skin on their faces and bodies. While I'm not a germ freak, I can't stand a lack of personal hygiene. Lice are not attractive or healthy. Then substitute dreadlocks for hair that is long, but can still be maintained without raising questions about hygienics. My ex used the same explanation as to why I shouldn't grow a beard. She said that it hurts her sensitive skin and she also don't likes them because it makes men look like they aren't well groomed. I believe her, but sensitive skin sure was a very convinient coincidence given that she didn't like beards in the first place. I won't judge a man for having preferences on the outset of dating. You're attracted to whatever you're attracted to. But...if it becomes an issue after getting into a relationship with someone, then to me, it's shallow behaviour, because you're putting your relationship on the line for superficial preferences. It's like a woman suddenly deciding that she can't stand the way her man has changed the way he dresses, after they're in a relationship and basically refuses to have sex with him, with his new dress preference. She puts the relationship on the line, for something very shallow. But what are valid reasons and what are shallow/stupid reasons to put a relationship on the line for? Who gets to decide that? If people don't change inside, they're the same people you've fallen in love with. If the external is a reflection of internal changes in attitude towards life, then it's a whole 'nother ballgame. It makes me seriously wonder about personal value systems. If the outside counts more than the inside, then it's a non-viable relationship. Both are important. Most of the time, if we don't like the outside, we don't even get to know the inside. The best personality isn't going to help you if the opposite sex goes when they look at you, because nobody is ever going to get to see your inner beauty. Just as the outside alone won't get the job done. If you can only attract people with your outside beauty, but not make them want to stay because of who you are inside, it won't work. It is a package deal, only together will they give you a chance at a relationship. Hence, I don't think it is possible to disregard changes to the outside (even if it is only a haircut) without accepting that this might make the overall package less appealing to your partner.
boxing123 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Once a man is snagged, and women are obviously off the market due to being pregnant, SOME no longer care what they look like. Starts with hair, then make up, then body, then nails, then clothing... Nothing at all like the woman you chose to marry. SOME women, not all.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 :laugh: Hair does not mold if you let it dry on its own, the healthiest hair you will ever see is of women that don't blow dry their hair it does NOT get "moldy", hair is already dead remember? Look at guys with long hair they have the healthiest hair around that's because they let it dry naturally.Hair does mold if it's tied back and not allowed to naturally dry. Bacteria doesn't care if it's hair or the kitchen sink. If it's a dark, confined space, mold will grow. I'm not complaining about my hair right now. I like it, it's my preference. It's heavily layered from top to bottom. I can't imagine how heavy it would be if I didn't!
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Let's pretend that a man and a woman become "an item" in the 1980's. The woman loves the way he dressed! He then suddenly decided he looked dated in 2009 and updated his wardrobe. Would it be reasonable for the woman to walk or take passive-aggressive action within the relationship, basically holding the relationship hostage, until he changed back to his 1980's wardrobe? Well that depends, if he was looking like this pretty much well into 2009 and suddenly wants to start sporting a more preppy look, that might be too much of a shock to his partner who happens to like his 80's more.
boxing123 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Something as "superficial" as hair, lol.. There are literally dozens of magazines at every grocery store, SOLELY dealing with women's hairstyles, tips,coloring, etc. If it had no importance to most women at all, I wonder why so much time and money is spent on it WHEN SINGLE, and then just chopped WHEN MARRIED. Obviously to look their best to snag a man.
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Hair does mold if it's tied back and not allowed to naturally dry. Bacteria doesn't care if it's hair or the kitchen sink. If it's a dark, confined space, mold will grow. I have never heard seen or witnessed hair molding because it is tied up wet, but if you say yours does..... I'm not complaining about my hair right now. I like it, it's my preference. It's heavily layered from top to bottom. I can't imagine how heavy it would be if I didn't! Yeah but if it's a matter of you chopping off all your hair when you get pregnant because it will be too much to manage, why not start by getting your hair down to a more managebale length rather than down to your butt which means excessively long, and that way you never have to resort to cutting it all off!?!? Why the two extremes? that's what I don't get?
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Anyways, everyone has their preferences. I honestly wonder to what degree people are willing to hold their relationships hostage for, to get their superficial needs met. I'm not just talking about strictly dating. I'm talking about committed relationships and marriage. What do you honestly value in your SO? Something to consider and with that, I'm over and out!
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I have never heard seen or witnessed hair molding because it is tied up wet, but if you say yours does.....Imagine taking your hair and squeezing it together. Mine, even as layered as it is, is about 3/4" in diameter. When I grab my hair tight up against the scalp, it's about 1.5" in diameter. Impossibly thick! Yeah but if it's a matter of you chopping off all your hair when you get pregnant because it will be too much to manage, why not start by getting your hair down to a more managebale length rather than down to your butt which means excessively long, and that way you never have to resort to cutting it all off!?!? Why the two extremes? that's what I don't get? This isn't about me and my preferences, so that you know. It's about an SOs right to cut their hair to the length that's practical for their lifestyle or preferences. I have long hair because I prefer it. That doesn't mean that everyone has to have long hair because it's my preference!
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 What do you honestly value in your SO? Something to consider and with that, I'm over and out! I think people value their partners in a wholistic sense not in fragments, so when one of those very important components that attracted us to one another dissapears, it is very hard to stay focused in the same level of "like" for someone who is not completely all there as we KNOW them. Especially if there is nothing wrong with them other than it just being a choice to throw in the towel. If you married a guy that was driven and dressed well and was well kept and suddenly he maintained his working life he was a good friend to you but let him self go physically in terms of putting on weight and not shaving and dressing like a slob, that is NOT what you bargained for. He is not just catering to himself he is neglecting the relationship too. No way in hell you can argue that. Don't say "it's just hair", men don't like that so why do something that is going to put them off? I don't get it? How is that superficial!?!?
anne1707 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Stock, if he wants to grow dreadlocks, that's a health issue. You can't keep dreadlocks hygienically clean. A beard or facial hair can equate to skin rashes or burns on women's sensitive skin on their faces and bodies. While I'm not a germ freak, I can't stand a lack of personal hygiene. Lice are not attractive or healthy. . Just to correct you on this point: A quote from http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-dreadlocks.htm Though many people consider dreadlocks a natural style, defining an individual rather than conforming to a fashion statement, others consider the style to be a rebellious statement. Some people do, in fact, grow dreadlocks for political, cultural, or religious belief, but mostly it’s a matter of individual expression. While some individuals who happen to have dreadlocks may have poor personal hygiene, dirtiness is a negative and false connotation associated with dreadlocks because people mistakenly think they’re grown from unwashed hair. In reality, dreadlocks can be washed and many people who sport dreadlocks, sometimes just called “dreads” or “locks,” take great care to achieve the style. It is particularly important to pay attention to dreadlocks, especially to dry them thoroughly when washed. There are numerous hair care products sold for maintaining and caring for dreadlocks. Many of those who choose to grow them painstakingly care for their “dreading” hair while establishing the dreadlocks and their hair can be just as clean as anyone else’s, even if it’s not combed. People with dreadlocks do not necessarily avoid shampoo, just detangling conditioners.
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 This topic is sort of funny to me because one of the girls I am presently dating brought it up about 2 weeks ago. She had beautiful long straight hair most of the way down her back all the time we've been dating and then around new years she mentioned that she was considering a new look and asked what I would think if she had it cut. After our short discussion she had it trimmed so that (forgive me form not knowing hairstyle lingo here) it reaches to just past the middle of her lovely shoulder blades and is sort of framed around her face. I think it's quite lovely but more important she thought my feelings on the matter were worth considering. She is a real gem. If she had gotten it trimmed without the discussion I would have been fine with it, she's still a doll. But smart girl that she is, she has I believe managed to turn a personal grooming act into something that showed her respect for me as a man and demonstrated how much she values our relationship. Wow is she cool. Also, devious, but in a good way.
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 This isn't about me and my preferences, so that you know. It's about an SOs right to cut their hair to the length that's practical for their lifestyle or preferences. I have long hair because I prefer it. That doesn't mean that everyone has to have long hair because it's my preference! I know I understand that and no one is saying "YOU MUST OBEY" women are going to do what they please anyway, but my question is WHY would any woman do that fully knowing that if will be unattractive to her mate? In your case I am still torn as to why it has to be two extremes either super long of chop it all off for practicality sense? I know thick long hair takes a lot of work I can totally appreciate that, but medium thick hair will take half of that work. So why not go with that instead of chopping it all off is what I am proposing? Correct me if I am wrong but I would imagine it is the drastic change that really does men's head's in, aside from the fact that a lot of guys hate short hair. It really does denote an air of "I don't give a feck about you or what you like this is the way it will be and that's that, now tell me do you like it?"
boxing123 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I am not sure why some posters turn every thread into some feminist battle, taking everything to the extreme. Girls like my hair. I would not marry a woman, and come home with a shaved head because it is easier. I would also like to look good for when we go out into public together. If I really had to shave my head, or really wanted to, I would run it past my wife first. If long hair is such a hindrance for some women, why do they have it long when single? Why not always have it short? From reading these threads I realize many women have a tough time cooking, and now they can't take care of their own hair without drama and problems?
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I take two different martial arts, one of which has a LOT of ground work, and I also take a Japanese Weapons class. I also run. I can tell you right now that long hair is a pain in the ass for those activities. People with short hair have it a lot easier. However, I do keep my hair long, but I do it because I like it. I do want my boyfriend to be attracted to me, but he'd be attracted to me no matter what style I picked, as long as I didn't go crazy. But even so, he'd still date me. He just wouldn't have as much to play with. For the record, he wears the EXACT same color shirt every single day, and doesn't change his hair style ever. I have way more to complain about than he does but I don't, because he's cute and I love him.
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I have never heard seen or witnessed hair molding because it is tied up wet, but if you say yours does..... Yeah but if it's a matter of you chopping off all your hair when you get pregnant because it will be too much to manage, why not start by getting your hair down to a more managebale length rather than down to your butt which means excessively long, and that way you never have to resort to cutting it all off!?!? Why the two extremes? that's what I don't get? What if a woman (or a man) just likes a particular cut? While I think it's important to consider your SO's feelings, I think your own feelings count more when it comes to the way you look. You should like the way you look and feel confident, so YOUR opinions about yourself should count first. And it's not a gender thing. That goes for women OR men. I've never met anyone who intentionally got their hair cut in a hideous way just to annoy their SO.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Just for fun, I phoned up my honey and asked him what he thought if I got a Halle Berry haircut. He said he honestly didn't care what length my hair was, as long as I was still committed to him. I adore this man!
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