Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Treasa, I 100% agree that men have a right to their preferences. Where I disagree is when men allow it to impact on their existing relationships. It smacks of control and being shallow. I don't think you disagree with me, as I completely agree with you. If men want to let it impact their relationships and be controlling, then they should relinquish equal control their women. Let's say their girlfriends/wives want them to completely shave their heads or wear nail polish. The men should happily comply if it's all about making your SO happy, even at the expensive of your own happiness. :bunny: <---I actually have three bunnies!
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yes, but you are attracted to him and that is how you got to know him. I don't know if there is anything you can't stand. Say he decided to grow a full beard and let his hair grow because he wants dreadlocks. Maybe that would freak you out. Compromising your preferences only goes so far. I don't ask out women with short hair in the first place because I don't like it. Which means my gf had hair that might not have matched my preference but wasn't short enough to bother me when I first met her. I prefer longer hair (shoulder length or longer), I can happily compromise on medium (chin-length), maybe even a shorter bob cut that only partially covers the ears. But honestly, if my gf had cut her hair like the women in the pictures carhill and I posted, I would think that she has lost her mind. Short hair is not attractive. I would tell her that I find it horrible and ask her to please, please grow it back for me. I would tell her how much I liked her old hairstyle, but that her new, short hair makes me cringe. If my gf said that she likes her hair that way and is keeping it at this length, then we would have a real problem. I'd probably start playing tit for tat. If she can change things, so can I. Maybe I'd grow that full beard that I like to have from time to time but so far didn't because she doesn't like it. I know it's petty, but she would have been the one who started it. Then you should have no problems looking exactly the way you did when you first started dating! Meaning, keeping the same muscle tone, not gaining an ounce of fat, not losing any hair, etc. Life happens, people change their preferences. If you'd be willing to dump your girlfriend over a short haircut, then I doubt you loved her that much to begin with. What if she had cancer and had to go for chemo? Or had to get a mastectomy? Is she toast in your book?
carhill Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 So the thread asks..."Any men here agree?" And of course the tone and meaning of the thread is being hijacked and completely exaggerated to make some feminist statement about how shallow some men are if they state they like longer hair than shorter. LOL, can I share the story of Bill Gates and IBM? Think of IBM as the bear and the speck of spit that would become Microsoft as someone who wanted where that bear was going real bad. As Steve Balmer said, "you either ride the bear or the bear gets on top of you and eats you". Guess that philosophy worked well. Such are the terms by which I describe the way the LS women "run" this place. Respect the bear, nip at the bear's heels, enjoy the warmth of the bear's belly, but don't let the bear get on top and eat you. However, if you wish to battle the bear, I wish you well
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I don't think you disagree with me, as I completely agree with you. If men want to let it impact their relationships and be controlling, then they should relinquish equal control their women. Let's say their girlfriends/wives want them to completely shave their heads or wear nail polish. The men should happily comply if it's all about making your SO happy, even at the expensive of your own happiness. :bunny: <---I actually have three bunnies! We agree to agree, without reservations! I think men shouldn't be allowed to wear anything their women don't approve of, if women aren't allowed to cut their hair. From what I've seen, there are a lot of men who can't dress themselves very well.
Treasa Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 LOL, can I share the story of Bill Gates and IBM? Think of IBM as the bear and the speck of spit that would become Microsoft as someone who wanted where that bear was going real bad. As Steve Balmer said, "you either ride the bear or the bear gets on top of you and eats you". Guess that philosophy worked well. Such are the terms by which I describe the way the LS women "run" this place. Respect the bear, nip at the bear's heels, enjoy the warmth of the bear's belly, but don't let the bear get on top and eat you. However, if you wish to battle the bear, I wish you well So true. At any rate OP, I think men have a right to their opinions and preferences, as do women. And if they want to leave their women because she OHMYGODCUTHERHAIR, then that's fine. But then don't come here kvetching months later that you 1) miss her, or 2) can't find someone. Your standards may be unrealistic.
carhill Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 My wife's a hair stylist, so this hair cut stuff is so last week. She gets a gleam in her eye when she gets out the number 10 and her cordless Oster's to have a go at me. Hmm, head or pubes?
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yes, but you are attracted to him and that is how you got to know him. I don't know if there is anything you can't stand. Say he decided to grow a full beard and let his hair grow because he wants dreadlocks. Maybe that would freak you out. Compromising your preferences only goes so far. I don't ask out women with short hair in the first place because I don't like it. Which means my gf had hair that might not have matched my preference but wasn't short enough to bother me when I first met her. I prefer longer hair (shoulder length or longer), I can happily compromise on medium (chin-length), maybe even a shorter bob cut that only partially covers the ears. But honestly, if my gf had cut her hair like the women in the pictures carhill and I posted, I would think that she has lost her mind. Short hair is not attractive. I would tell her that I find it horrible and ask her to please, please grow it back for me. I would tell her how much I liked her old hairstyle, but that her new, short hair makes me cringe. If my gf said that she likes her hair that way and is keeping it at this length, then we would have a real problem. I'd probably start playing tit for tat. If she can change things, so can I. Maybe I'd grow that full beard that I like to have from time to time but so far didn't because she doesn't like it. I know it's petty, but she would have been the one who started it. Stock, if he wants to grow dreadlocks, that's a health issue. You can't keep dreadlocks hygienically clean. A beard or facial hair can equate to skin rashes or burns on women's sensitive skin on their faces and bodies. While I'm not a germ freak, I can't stand a lack of personal hygiene. Lice are not attractive or healthy. Men can prefer whatever they like to prefer, just like women have the right to judge those preferences. It's the same issue with men and height. I won't judge a man for having preferences on the outset of dating. You're attracted to whatever you're attracted to. But...if it becomes an issue after getting into a relationship with someone, then to me, it's shallow behaviour, because you're putting your relationship on the line for superficial preferences. It's like a woman suddenly deciding that she can't stand the way her man has changed the way he dresses, after they're in a relationship and basically refuses to have sex with him, with his new dress preference. She puts the relationship on the line, for something very shallow. If people don't change inside, they're the same people you've fallen in love with. If the external is a reflection of internal changes in attitude towards life, then it's a whole 'nother ballgame. It makes me seriously wonder about personal value systems. If the outside counts more than the inside, then it's a non-viable relationship.
Stockalone Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Then you should have no problems looking exactly the way you did when you first started dating! Meaning, keeping the same muscle tone, not gaining an ounce of fat, not losing any hair, etc. Life happens, people change their preferences. If you'd be willing to dump your girlfriend over a short haircut, then I doubt you loved her that much to begin with. What if she had cancer and had to go for chemo? Or had to get a mastectomy? Is she toast in your book? We split a long time ago over something that might be a non-issue for other people. We just couldn't reach a compromise on this specific topic, but it wasn't about a haircut. But yes, while with her, I kept my workout routine to manage my weight, I even lost a few pounds for her. I didn't grow a beard because she wanted me to be clean shaven. Losing your hair or a breast because you have cancer is not the same as getting a new haircut. The former two are a blow of fate you can't prevent, the latter one is a choice. We can't fight aging, nor should we. But if we have choices, those choices come with accountability. I agree with you, it is a silly thing to worry about a haircut. But that is true for both sides. In that extreme scenario, we both would worry more about the hair than about our partner's feelings. Had I told her that she can't have a certain haircut, I would have been selfish. If she had said that I better love every haircut she chooses, that would have been equally selfish.
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I disagree, if you are with someone and they look a certain way and you are attracted to that and later down the line they change drastically you have every right not to be attracted to that and it is NOT shallow or putting your rel. on the line to do so. If your partner purposely makes themselves out to be less attractive to you, why should you accept that? If I was with a man that had a decent body and he gained 60lbs I would find that unattractive, it's the same with the hair, if you got together with a woman that has long hair and she knows you like long hair why would she cut it off? I would never do that unless I had to or unless I got ill. I don't care how much more practical it is to have short hair, long hair is just more attractive and I would not want to do anything to make myself less attractive to a man or myself. Why would I? That's what time is for and wrinkles and age and the laws of gravity...can't really fight those but you can fight having short hair... I don't think it's shallow that men dislike that.
JamesM Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I remember the first time my wife cut her hair short. She gave no warning. All I knew is "I am getting my hair cut today." So when she came him, I was working in the yard trimming hedges and she came around the corner. She said, "What do you think?" I looked up, and to my shock she had gone from hair halfway down her back to hair barely covering her ears. My face registered nothing but shock. I was speechless. It wasn't fair. So my initial response was how I was treated for the next few days. Despite my profuse compliments, it was to no avail. Since then she has gone from short to long and back again. Truthfully, I can get used to whatever she likes, but I am actually leaning towards a shorter style on her. Her current style (cut and color) is identical to..... http://www.imagecows.com/uploads/b1bd-Lisa-Rinna-layered-hairstyle.jpg http://www.celebrityhairstylesnews.com/shorthairstyles/lisarinna.jpg And she resembles Lisa except with blue eyes, a slightly smaller face, and normal sized lips. I really do like it. I am curious what the reasons for "going short" are. Why do women cut their hair short?
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Why do women cut their hair short? It's a 1000000000 times more practical and easier to keep, that's why. Long hair takes work unless you have country bumpkin all one length tuft hair I am sure that is easy enough to maintain I suppose... I had hair like Lisa Rina about 12 yrs ago it was great, SO easy to maintain but I got bored of it, a little work is not bad.
The Collector Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Why do women cut their hair short? Laziness, a mistaken idea that it will suit them, and/or to piss off their partner.
MindoverMatter Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Stock, if he wants to grow dreadlocks, that's a health issue. You can't keep dreadlocks hygienically clean. A beard or facial hair can equate to skin rashes or burns on women's sensitive skin on their faces and bodies. I agree with the dreadlocks, I snicker at the beard. If this is really a valid point (because a beard once it has grown a few inches is not so much different to other hair), then so is getting neurodermitis over the stress of your girlfriend going bald for a change. I can understand why people have preferences. I don't think you have to ask permission to change a hair cut, but if you don't you'll have to face the reaction of your SO. However, telling your girlfriend that it makes you cringe or that you hate it is pretty strong and comes off as being too dominant for my taste. I'd say that I much prefered the former 'do and leave it at that for the time being. If an SO told me he didn't like my haircut I wouldn't twist my knickers out of feminist anger, but accept it and move on. If I like the do, I'll be happy and glowing and thus still a pretty sight for my partner. If it is a dealbreaker to either side (she cut her hair, she's out - he didn't like my new 'do he's out) then there wasn't much love to begin with. It's hair. It'll grow back. The bigger picture is (and I think that's the real reason behind this topic) that some people stop caring about their looks once they are married. Which is not okay. From neither side.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Laziness, a mistaken idea that it will suit them, and/or to piss off their partner.Any idea how much time long hair takes? I have thick hair down to my ass. If I want to do anything serious to it, it takes an hour or more.
The Collector Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Any idea how much time long hair takes? I have thick hair down to my ass. If I want to do anything serious to it, it takes an hour or more. Yeah I used to have long hair, and have also had lots of relationships with women with long hair. It's not hard to keep it nice.
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yeah I used to have long hair, and have also had lots of relationships with women with long hair. It's not hard to keep it nice. Oh please long hair on men is TOTALLY different than on women. Don't even compare the two. Not all female long hair is "wash and go" type hair, some of it needs time and styling.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yeah I used to have long hair, and have also had lots of relationships with women with long hair. It's not hard to keep it nice. An hour per day isn't difficult? I empty a huge hot water tank per shower of which 90% of the time and water spent, is to wash and condition my hair. This doesn't include drying it, nvm the rest of the products and time it takes to maintain it to a shiny and healthy look. If I had to either straighten or properly curl my hair, it takes another hour. It's not that easy. When you have very short hair like most men do, a shower takes about 15 minutes, including drying and styling.
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 If you don't like women with short hair, don't ask them out. Just stick to women with long hair. You do have a right to your preferences, but I don't think women should succumb to those preferences if they have their own thoughts on what they want their own hair to look/be like. ...if you are with someone and they look a certain way and you are attracted to that and later down the line they change drastically you have every right not to be attracted to that and it is NOT shallow or putting your rel. on the line to do so. If your partner purposely makes themselves out to be less attractive to you, why should you accept that? The above quotes pretty much sum it up for me. Both from female posters too - sweet.
Rebellious Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Short-hair girls are sexy. Long fluffy hair gets in my face & tickles my nose when spooning. Medium-length braided is best, makes a nice handle. I started buzzing my hair recently and I get more smiles from women -- why is that?
The Collector Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 You don't have to style it for hours, or have it down to your ass, just don't cut it all off. It's an effort you are happy to make when single, and if you give it up when you've snagged a partner, it's rude and selfish. We men shave every day. It kinda hurts. But you women tend to prefer it clean-shaven, so we do it.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Imagine a woman with a new baby. Don't you think it rude and selfish for a man to expect her to maintain her long hair, just for his sexual preferences? How much time do you suppose a new mother has? It's one thing if she prefers it that way and is willing to allocate her time towards the maintenance of long hair. Of course the time spent on hair, will come out of time that could be spent in other ways.
clv0116 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 For me, once I'm in a relationship I don't live and make life choices just for myself anymore and I expect the same consideration. Call me crazy.
alphamale Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Any men here agree? yes, if a woman i was dating cut her hair short i would be OTD (Out The Door). I'm not attracted to short hair on girls at all and have never been with a woman with short hair.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 For me, once I'm in a relationship I don't live and make life choices just for myself anymore and I expect the same consideration. Call me crazy. So hair has now become a life choice? That's like saying that a man's favourite baseball cap represents his lack of respect for his woman, if he insists on wearing it.
Tomcat33 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Imagine a woman with a new baby. Don't you think it rude and selfish for a man to expect her to maintain her long hair, just for his sexual preferences? How much time do you suppose a new mother has? OH GOD ESPECIALLY NOT after having a baby. There is already enough of a disconnect between the couple after a newborn comes into the scene and on top of it she is going to chop off her hair? I strongly disagree with that move. You can always tie your hair up, there are more options with long hair so it's not like she can't do much with it. I have seen plenty new moms with long hair and they do just fine. Sorry but that's an axcuse, being a new mom is hard but tying your hair up only takes two minutes and if that is what you would look like if you cut it off anyway there is no difference between having short hair and washing it and tying up long hair.
Recommended Posts