neverlost Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Hi all :-) I've been with my partner a year now, she is away at university, and it isn't so far away so we usually get to see each other at least once every 2 weeks. Everything was fine, or so I thought so. But the past few days she has been acting really distant, so after telling me a few times she just "feels bad about herself", but then later says she has "university and stuff to sort out". I guess I caused some of that because she might have a chance to go to another country on an exchange for 4 months and I wasn't too happy about that. Call me selfish, call me unfair, but sometimes it is hard to take being away for 2 weeks, let alone all those months. And if anything were to happen to her, I'd feel so helpless as to be there for her. But anyway, so I figured soemthing was up and said did she need a break and she said she doesn't want to finish but can we talk in a few days. The thing is, this is SO out of character for her, we are usually so close. Even with arguments, this has never happened. I can't understand out of the blue why she could be that cold. I've been hurt in the past by women doing this, and I thought that's what made her different. Even if things end up OK, I think this is going to play on my mind. Always. To me, if you need a break then it tells me you are not sure of the eprson and that simply isn't good enough :-( Her ex's treated her really bad, one cheated on her and she still stayed with him. But I try and treat her like a Princess as much as I can. One part of me starts thinking she only lieks abusive relationships because that is what she is used to. So now I'm just waiting around... people say get on with things, go out. But if I started doing that and she came back to me, I wouldn't see my friends as much and they would feel used, and I don't want that. So instead I sit alone, counting the minutes of every hour. I know that time heals, I've been here before. And it took a long time for a girl to prove she wasn't like everyone else, and now I just feel burnt once more. I either want her to be back here right now so it will be ok, or for 2 months to pass in an instant so it doesn't hurt anymore. *sigh* I guess it has only been 2 days... and I'm sorry for the long post. I appreciate anyones thoughts on this, Take care, -neverlost
Geishawhelk Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Sit down. (Oh, well, of course......if you're on your PC, you more than likely ARE sitting down.....) OK. She's seeing someone else. the couple of days is a way to give herself time to think of the best way to tell you she needs to take a break from you, or she's not into getting serious right now, but if you could just hang on and wait for a while..... Whatever. She's distracted by the affections from - and for - another guy. I would try an experiment. See how long you can go without calling or texting or contacting her. I guarantee it it will be longer than 2 days before she gets back to you. Do you think you can do that?
Author neverlost Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Sit down. (Oh, well, of course......if you're on your PC, you more than likely ARE sitting down.....) OK. She's seeing someone else. the couple of days is a way to give herself time to think of the best way to tell you she needs to take a break from you, or she's not into getting serious right now, but if you could just hang on and wait for a while..... Whatever. She's distracted by the affections from - and for - another guy. I would try an experiment. See how long you can go without calling or texting or contacting her. I guarantee it it will be longer than 2 days before she gets back to you. Do you think you can do that? Thank you :-) Yes, absolutely, as hard as it may be. Because one part of me shouldn't be chasing when I really don't feel that I have done anything wrong. It did cross my mind she is seeing someone else. But then, she has never cheated on anyone before. And I always say, if you like someone else, please just tell me so we could seperate on reasonably good terms. She did go out on Monday, but she was being very affectionate texting me, which I'm not taking as a sign of guilt because she is usually like that when she goes out, we like to reassure each other. It kinda just happened around Thursday. Of course it is hard for me to know fully what is happening as she is in another city. But I guess you have to have trust? But going back to that, a few weeks back she had a new guys number in her phone, she told me the university tutor gave ehr it to contact someone about the project their group was working on. To me this was a big red flag going up, but then, maybe it was totally innocent? Again, down to trust. I just hate the waiting in limbo -neverlost
Geishawhelk Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 You know, I hope I'm wrong. Really, I do. But things like this have a habit of cropping up quite regularly round here. Even if she denies it and just says she needs time and space for herself, I guarantee that within 2 days she'll be openly dating another guy. it sucks, but unfortunately, more often than not, it's so..... Take care of yourself. Try not to mull over it all, but put it out of your mind, and just breathe......
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