Knowingmeknowingyou Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Hi all, new here and just wanted to share my story, will try to keep it brief. Was in a LDR for one year up until the week before xmas. Was planning to move with my two children to be with him, but due to some insecurities on my part regarding his ex ( he has custody of their child) feeling that his past was still casting a shadow over us, I would ocassionally get jealous and 'quiz' him. He couldnt cope with this and warned me that it would kill our relationship. He responds to any sort of conflict by shutting down, I have seen him just become like a scorned child right in front of my eyes, head hanging, completly mute. Week before xmas I was visiting him, he recieved some texts and when I asked who they were from gave me an answer that didnt quite satisfy me. I maybe foolishly, asked to see the texts. Well he said NO in no uncertain terms. Things went from bad to worse then as he I felt he was hiding something and he basically told me to go home, but he was tearful. Tried to call him that eve but he would not pick up. Sent texts..two admittedly acussing ones saying I thought he was hiding something, then I felt bad and the other texts were saying sorry if I got things wrong..no reply. Now we get to xmas, still nothing, I text and ask him to please talk to me..nothing. I tried to go NC then and told him by text I would take his silence as the end of us. Broke the contact by phoning him, had a 'normal' convo but then nothing. Jump to last friday, I had a strange instinct to look on his local towns dating site. Lo and behold there he is...with a profile started on Dec 28th, and a second one (without photo..but recogisinably him). I decided I had to now definately get some closure on this and drove 2 hrs to confront him. Well, to add insult to injury he wouldnt answer the door, I then tried the handle and it was open, went inside to him white as a sheet. he was virtually mute, would only say he had warned that he didnt like arguments and now he had reached his limit. I kept calm(said nothing about the profiles). He looked stricken the whole time I was there, and really just sat with his head hung while i did all the talking.I told him I was now too moving on, we held each other kissed and I left. The final flourish to this sad sad episode though is the next day I sent a message to his 2 'profiles' one saying nothing but 'it didnt take you long' and the other saying nothing but 'hope you find what you are looking for'. Couple of hours later I check and the profiles have 'disappeared'. Job done. This to me is my closure, I am still all over the place emptionally and gutted but know it will take time. Any comments appreciated, thanks for reading.
BoerumHill Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Thread title is misleading ...spectacular fall from NC wagon s/b ...how to engineer a spectacular breakup Congrats, sounds like you got exactly what you wanted.
Author Knowingmeknowingyou Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Its certainly not what I wanted, I was insecure at times but there was a lot of unfinished business in his last relationship which i tried to be understanding about. I was willing to work on my issues with that, and told him how sorry I was, but him giving me the silent treatment and within 6 days of us being still loving and making future plans, he has his profile on a dating site? I just wanted him to tell me it was over, do the decent thing, after a year together, not just let me hanging.
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