mtom49 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 so me and my ex girlfriend had been going out for about four years, and about 2 weeks ago she broke up with me, were both 21 and i have a year left of college and she has a semester left and then is going to law school, but anyways when we broke up she had said that she needed alota time to write her senior thesis and felt bad when she had to work on it all the time and didnt get to see me much, also she mentioned that she felt like i used pity to make her feel bad if she didnt come see me , not that i meant to use pity by any means but i guess it happened, so we broke up and we were both emotional wreck and went our seperate ways, we broke up on a tuesday and the following saturday i called her to see if i could get my glasses back before i went back to college, when i called we talked like old friends for about an hour and shortly after the phone call she texted me that she wanted to meet for drinks and she still wanted to be friends, we went out and both had a great time but at the end of the night when i took her home i had told her that just being friends right now wouldnt work out, but also i told her that if she ever wanted to talk to call me anytime for anything, after that night, we talked twice about every 3 or 4 days and each time for at least an hour just about random stuff, i try not to bring up our relationship, try not make her worry much, but now i feel that we have such good conversations that she might still really care for me and i dunno if i should try to ask her to do somthing this weekend and in all try to fix things up, most people are telling me to cut off contact with her for awhile and let her call me, which sounds like it would work, but in the past we have broken up before and she said she didnt really miss me until i called her. ive been doing all my normal things in life keeping busy and not really sobbing about things so basically by next weekend it will have been 2 weeks and 5 days since the break up and im wondering if this is too soon to try to fix things. and tips or advice will help greatly, and this is the first girl ive ever broken up with that i actually want back with all my heart so i dont really know what im doing thanks alot, mike whats this
Ariadne Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 so basically by next weekend it will have been 2 weeks and 5 days since the break up and im wondering if this is too soon to try to fix things. No, it's never too soon. If you see her and talk to her often you can always try and get a little closer. Good luck there, and good thing you are still in touch.
Geishawhelk Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 When you have your friendly little chats, who (generally) contacts who, more? is a happy hoppy bunny!! woohoo!! Wheeeeeee! That kind of thing.
neverlost Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I guess you will follow your heart. But there's nothing to fix, she broke up with you. Now it is up to her to realise if that was a mistake or not. I rarely thing being all pally and friendy, just so you can get back with someone helps. And call me cynical, but to quote you: "she had said that she needed a lota time to write her senior thesis and felt bad when she had to work on it all the time and didnt get to see me much" This is just an EXCUSE, to make it easier for her to break up with you. If I loved someone with all my heart, I wouldn't let the world get in the way, let alone writing a thesis. For love, you MAKE time. And I also wouldn't trust this 100% "but in the past we have broken up before and she said she didnt really miss me until i called her" That's just another excuse to make you chase after her. Do you want a girl who doesn't even miss you until you have to pop up and BUG them? I did this in my first serious relationship, every pull I tried to make them closer, it only pushed them away. So I would say again, there isn't much to fix because you didn't do anything. Most of the reasons she says will not even be valid. And the reasons she states are maybe just the person you are? I'd be wary about changing myself. And really, you have been with her 4 years. That is quite sometime, that is why I would doubt some of the reason for the break up. People simply... grow and drift apart :-( I wish you the best of luck :-) Take care, -neverlost
Author mtom49 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 well for the first friendly chat i called her for the glasses, the second one she called me and the last one i called her so i dunno i mean its great to talk to her but i dont wanna bug her to much really, and also when i said "but in the past we have broken up before and she said she didn't really miss me until i called her" she is a very busy girl, and she later said she thought about me a lot but just tried to keep busy. so hopefully i all i can hope now is that she is getting bored doing her work and missing talking to me and hopefully it will be a welcome call when i call her next time and thanks for all the advice and help
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