rainshine Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 My ex (we lived together for five years) and I watched a movie tonight. He was running late (he called that he has to take a shower) and we just made it in time in the movie house before the movie starts. We sat on the first row, because it’s the only available seat. Yeah I have a stiff neck after. I just didn’t feel good going out with him tonight. I just felt unimportant to him. We had to rush to the movie house 15 minutes before it starts. Then when I hugged him goodbye tonight he doesn’t smell fresh…he smelled like he didn’t shower. I just feel really awful after……I felt like his back up girl. Btw, I’m aware that he is flirting with his current roommate (through a friend), although they don’t have a relationship. I asked him when is going to invite me to his place. And he told me that there is nothing to see, it’s just an old apartment. My gut feeling is telling me that he is dishonest. If he can come to my place, why am I not invited to his place? Also, while watching the movie, my gut feeling is telling me that he has changed. He is an action pack guy and wouldn’t like serious talking movie like MILK. But he was into it, Is he being influenced by this woman? Am I expecting to much or I'm feeling the same treatment I got ("second best") from him when were together, that is why I'm hurt? I just feel low and sad……any advice will be appreciated.
Ariadne Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Sounds like he moved on a bit and needs space. But still he went out with you and spent some time. Just see what happens. Don't take it too bad, hope things improve.
Geishawhelk Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 He's your ex? You're still into him though, aren't you? The big thing is - He is Sooooo NOT into you. You are history, in the romance department. No effort with his hygiene, doesn't want to take you back to his place (he knows what you want) and he's flirting with someone else? I'm sorry hun, but you are so doing the wrong things completely. I hate to say it, but the standard common and FAIL-SAFE advice is to cut him off completely, all round, and go No Contact. You don't ring him, call him, text him, e-mail him or go on yuccky dates with him. You don't check Myspace, or Facebook. And all these contact methods? You don't respond to his either. Do everything possible to cut it off. *stands back and waits for wailing protests and excuses......*
Author rainshine Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Thanks everyone. I have to take back control of my life. Last night was really awful, I am aware that we are no longer together, so I have no right to question him. For some reason, I was still in the same pattern of behavior like we were together. I confronted him and told him that you made me feel unimportant and I think you are more interested in something else than going out with me even a friend. I am constantly trying to remind myself that my relationship ended because it was not healthy. Sometimes it is hard to see that. I know that I have to move on…..I can’t be stuck here when he already moved on. I’m going through tough times…..but I have too. Thank you for all your help.
durotto Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Thanks everyone. I have to take back control of my life. Last night was really awful, I am aware that we are no longer together, so I have no right to question him. For some reason, I was still in the same pattern of behavior like we were together. I confronted him and told him that you made me feel unimportant and I think you are more interested in something else than going out with me even a friend. I am constantly trying to remind myself that my relationship ended because it was not healthy. Sometimes it is hard to see that. I know that I have to move on…..I can’t be stuck here when he already moved on. I’m going through tough times…..but I have too. Thank you for all your help. Why are you going to the movies with him ? How clingy can you be ? How ? The more clingy you are ,, the more he loses respect and love for you .. seriously get some other friends to go to the movie with .. don't talk with him .. let him come if he needs to talk with you .. for you its just NC and NC only .. besides he is enjoying himself with someone else .. but you seem to be still pining for him and hoping he comes back .. don't be that girl .. .. be strong and take control ..
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