Divorced in February... when will he be ready to be serious again?

[confused888]

He was with her for 10 years, married for 5. Started the divorce in February... at what point will he even remotely be ready for a real relationship?

[Gunny376]

"Run Forrest Run!"

[confused888]

Normally I would totally agree. Unfortunately this has to be the one that there is chemistry like I've never had before. Why is that?!?! The completely available rich guy it's always like kissing a dead frog, lol.

[Gunny376]

The short answer is that "love" and being "in love" is a bio-chemical process of the brain, that attivates bio-chemicals in the brain similar to the effects of being on "crack-cocaine" or crystal meth,

 

The brain scans of people "in love" are almost identical to those who suffer from "obessive-compulisve" disorder. Except those with OCD, is for life, and "love" last about three to six years. (About the same time it takes a child to learn how to walk, talk, feed themselves, drink water, wipe themselves)

[Touche]

Love lasting 6 years, OCD, child walkinkg...yada, yada, blah, blah..nonsense.

 

As for the rest..not sure I'm following you. Is he separated from his wife?

 

And what the heck does this mean?

 

The completely available rich guy it's always like kissing a dead frog, lol.

[confused888]

Yes, she was cheating on him. He moved out in February.

 

'The completely available rich guy it's always like kissing a dead frog, lol.' That's just expressing frustration that ones you want to be with are always the complicated ones. Every time I find a guy that my brain says is perfect (ie the rich guy that's actually available) it's like kissing a dead frog... nothing is there, no passion, no desire to ever touch them again.

[Gunny376]

Love lasting 6 years, OCD, child walkinkg...yada, yada, blah, blah..nonsense.

 

As for the rest..not sure I'm following you. Is he separated from his wife?

 

And what the heck does this mean?

 

Ref:

 

"BrainSex"

 

Feb edition of 2006 National Geographic Magazine

 

Feb 2006 edition of Time Magazine!

 

 

2006 edition of Anthropology Magazine!

[LucreziaBorgia]

He just got out of a marriage and was burned on the way out. Why on earth would he want to risk repeating that, or go from one tied down relationship directly into another one? It will be a long time before he is ready for a serious relationship. I imagine he wants to play the field some and date around, since he missed out on that for the past decade.

 

Give him time. If he wants to be with you, he will. Eventually.

[Ronni_W]

Started the divorce in February... at what point will he even remotely be ready for a real relationship?

His process will be as personal and unique as he is, and that is the only "for sure." It depends on HIS inner strengths, perspectives, beliefs, self-desires, etc.

 

If YOU are prepared/willing to offer understanding, patience and compassion; and will be able to stay "sane & functional" (not get all insecure & wonky) when he needs the necessary time/space to explore his "inner crap" and do his healing and recovery work, then it CAN work.

 

There are potential risks/disadvantages for you, of course. But if it is feeling that he may just be worth taking a calculated risk, then go ahead...have fun and enjoy for as long as there is fun and enjoyment available to be had .

 

Life is too short to live by OTHER people's ideas of how one "should" feel, when; and what is a wise or unwise decision based on the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" that come out of others' beliefs and experiences. IMO.

 

Why NOT take a chance on him, if your heart is telling you to do that? :love:What if YOUR heart knows better than we think we do? (which it most likely does.)