Justmike101 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 unless you are 35 and over, I think it's a load of crap to say looks don't matter. Sure, attraction does depend on each person's taste, but in general who the heck goes "oh he/she is about 50 lbs overweight but his/her beautiful personality makes up for it"
Phateless Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I don't see how anyone could be attracted to someone if they don't like the person's looks. Plus, better looking people get more opportunities out of life and are treated better. Sucks, but it's 100% true. It's statistically proven actually, that better looking people get more and better opportunities, promotions sooner, higher pay, and are more likely to be chosen in a job interview. There's a reason that I style out and make sure to put my contacts in for an interview. When I gained 20 lbs of muscle from working out, cut my hair, and started dressing better, the way the entire world treats me changed dramatically. It kind of pissed me off. It's unfortunate but true, society considers unattractive people second class citizens. Looks are definitely not the only thing I look for in a woman, but they are an important prerequisite, as are: intelligence, wit, open mind, active lifestyle, sassy personality.
fral945 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 You must be new to the looks thing. It gets old...fast! I don't know about that........I've never met a man that got tired of looking at beautiful women.
kizik Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 It's statistically proven actually, that better looking people get more and better opportunities, promotions sooner, higher pay, and are more likely to be chosen in a job interview. Great. I'll be down here in the ugly section, unemployed, ignored and laughed at. But hey, good for you!
Zammo25 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 unless you are 35 and over, I think it's a load of crap to say looks don't matter. Sure, attraction does depend on each person's taste, but in general who the heck goes "oh he/she is about 50 lbs overweight but his/her beautiful personality makes up for it" Why does it make any differnce if you are over 35 !. Does it mean to you , you will take any morsel left on the table as you are too old to consider you could attract an attractive person. F*CK ME
Zammo25 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 unless you are 35 and over, I think it's a load of crap to say looks don't matter. Sure, attraction does depend on each person's taste, but in general who the heck goes "oh he/she is about 50 lbs overweight but his/her beautiful personality makes up for it" As I am 46 and recently single I guess I will only be able to attract UGLY Women now. Thanks for the confidence boost.
kizik Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 All these generalizations are so dumb. You look like what you look like. You cannot change it, save for exercise. So let's learn to accept ourselves and stop perpetuating retarded "studies" about the relationship between looks and success. Even if these studies are supposedly "true". B/c posters like Zammo and myself don't appreciate this segregation of people based on God-given traits.
Trialbyfire Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 If this is a game of honesty, let's get some facts on the table. IF you're the superficial type, all that's going to matter to you is the trophy mate, regardless of the garbage underneath. If that's the case, then you deserve what you get when you go trophy hunting, especially if it comes with a never-ending price tag. Open up your wallets...Gentlemen! IF you're someone who actually cares what's underneath, all the pretty glitter on the outside isn't going to keep you happy. If anything, it will be worse than having no one. Forget the stupid ladder up theory and find yourself someone who's attractive throughout.
kizik Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 You're right. The people here defending the merits of beauty are the shallow ones anyway. You get what you seek.
Adri Ana Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Looks are attractive, attractive looks attract, but if there is a shallow personality behind them, then nothing would ever help .. _______________________ I do not choose by looks neither friends nor lovers , no one at all . I look deeper and I see the soul , then I look at their looks , looks deceive so many times. And I feel a pity for those who seek just beauty . Looks may be improved,one may do a plastic surgery for that, but the soul is what a real person is .
electric_sheep Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Why does it make any differnce if you are over 35 !. Does it mean to you , you will take any morsel left on the table as you are too old to consider you could attract an attractive person. F*CK ME Hysterical! I'm 38, am fairly very fit and athletic myself, and I certainly didn't develop an immunity to attractive women on my 35th birthday. Sadly, there are fewer and fewer of them in my age range. Anyway, OP: I think the question comes down to... how important are looks to you! How important is sex to you, for that matter. And how interconnected are sex and looks? So, there are 3 things to think about there. There is a collective societal mythology regarding the "ideal" partner and "ideal" romance, but it's honestly just a default cultural template. No reason you have to accept it at all. It's probably time for you to do some soul searching and introspection. I'll tell you a couple of observations I've made from my own life (though they may not apply to you at all): I have a fairly strong libido and sex drive. Physical attractiveness is actually fairly important for me to find long lasting sexual satisfaction from a lover. (The societal/cultural brainwashing machine was regrettably somewhat successful in convincing me of their narrow definition of beauty. I've tried to recondition myself, but it seems virtually hopeless.) Weight can become an issue if it moves beyond slight chubbiness. Slight chubbiness I can actually find cute, but once someone is solidly in the "overweight" category, my sexual interest declines. Personality and looks work in tandem with each other, definitely. One can compensate for the other. I've stayed with girls that were completely psychotic simply because they were so incredibly sexy, and I've stayed with girls that were not that attractive at all, simply because they had such great personalities. Personality can contribute to attraction, but only so much. Anyway, that's my take on it. Just remember to find the right compromise between pragmatism and idealism, and don't be afraid to take a stand different from the accepted paradigm (you may end up far happier than the rest of us).
electric_sheep Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 You're right. The people here defending the merits of beauty are the shallow ones anyway. You get what you seek. I can understand wanting to act as a counter balance to the message endlessly promulgated by the cultural machine, but at the same time it's rather presumptuous of you to insist your standards and values are the only ones, and to call people nasty names if they disagree with you. Let people decide for themselves what's important to them, and let them decide for themselves what's important in a partner, and what partnership even means to them. I believe no way is better than any other way. It boils down to preference and personal values, and there is no reason to believe any one set is universal. Indeed, they often shift and change even in one person during their lifetime. Regardless, there is certainly no reason to call people names for not agreeing with you.
electric_sheep Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 I'm 38, am fairly very fit and athletic myself How's that for ambiguity? I must have been thinking "Should I be humble or be truthful"? And replying to my own post.... my God, will the narcissism ever end?
Adri Ana Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 appreciating beauty is never bad it attracts,but is not a guarrantee of anything . I appreciate a person`s soul more and deeper than just looks . I look for deeper connections always .
kizik Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 there is certainly no reason to call people names for not agreeing with you. Jerk, Idiot and A-Hole are examples of name-calling. Stating that someone seems shallow is not.
Lizzie60 Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Yes.. looks is important.. but not as important as intelligence and a great sense of humour... If the guy is a 'god' but is dumb as a goat.. then it's a huge turn-off.. ewww... I think intelligence, confidence and ultimately what you do in life is the most important... for me anyway. Take two guys who are equally below average in looks.. one is a surgeon.. the other one is a night-shift maintenance guy in a Wal-Mart... which one will I connect with.. I will go with the more educated guy.. no doubt.
Phateless Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 All these generalizations are so dumb. You look like what you look like. You cannot change it, save for exercise. So let's learn to accept ourselves and stop perpetuating retarded "studies" about the relationship between looks and success. Even if these studies are supposedly "true". B/c posters like Zammo and myself don't appreciate this segregation of people based on God-given traits. There's a limit on how true that is. How you perceive and carry yourself makes a big difference. Subtle tells of posture, body language, and facial expression make a huge difference in your level of attractiveness. Studies prove that too. Exercise, eat right, take care of yourself mentally, and spend the money for nice clothes and a good haircut, and you will be amazed at the results. Being your "best self" will take you far.
ahhhchooo Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 Obviously personality does play an important role - you'd have to be really desperate or delusional to date someone who's company you don't enjoy. Good looking people are always going to be approached more, be given more of a chance, have more opportunities and be generally more tolerated. Ugly people can get a very blunt 'no' vibe upon meeting very superficial people. I've actually heard a woman's friend (she was drunk) say "Why are you hanging around this guy? He's f--king ugly. Let's go." and she left without me. She then met me alone while sober and she actually, I kid you not, said this to me - "You can't expect someone hot to go out with someone who's average".
sedgwick Posted January 20, 2009 Posted January 20, 2009 unless you are 35 and over, I think it's a load of crap to say looks don't matter. Sure, attraction does depend on each person's taste, but in general who the heck goes "oh he/she is about 50 lbs overweight but his/her beautiful personality makes up for it" Ha ha ha ha...surely to god you're a teenager, yes? If I met someone with an amazing personality and big brain who was 50 pounds overweight, I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to go out with them! One of the advantages of getting past the ripe old age of 35 (gasp! says the 37-year-old who can still do a cartwheel) is that you (hopefully) mature and recognize that a person's character is far, far more important than their physical appearance.
anne1707 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 unless you are 35 and over, I think it's a load of crap to say looks don't matter. Sure, attraction does depend on each person's taste, but in general who the heck goes "oh he/she is about 50 lbs overweight but his/her beautiful personality makes up for it" Let's face it. What have you got when you are over 35. Confidence in yourself, better understanding of others, realisation that you are not the centre of the universe, that others are important, that you are not always right, how to carry yourself, how to be respectful, experienced, how you have got it wrong and where you have got it right, how to really make love, how to be vulnerable, how to support, how to know when you are wrong, and when you are right,...... Guess you are past it and with nothing to offer when past the ripe old age of 35. Or you could just keep on growing up which anybody over the age of 35 knows - you will never stop.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 One of the advantages of getting past the ripe old age of 35 (gasp! says the 37-year-old who can still do a cartwheel) is that you (hopefully) mature and recognize that a person's character is far, far more important than their physical appearance. You also grow more frightened of dying alone
anne1707 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 You also grow more frightened of dying alone But you also realise that you have contributed, that you have made a difference in somebody's life.
motive2002 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I believe that women treat me the way they do because of my looks. If I was much more handsome, I think I would be treated a little better than I am now. It really is that simple.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I believe that women treat me the way they do because of my looks. If I was much more handsome, I think I would be treated a little better than I am now. It really is that simple. of course it is
anne1707 Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I believe that women treat me the way they do because of my looks. If I was much more handsome, I think I would be treated a little better than I am now. It really is that simple. of course it is Of course it's not!
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