Lucky555 Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 The ex contacted me and started talking about a comment i had on a messenger away message. I talked to him. however, this is the third time he has contacted me this week with casual conversation then today i asked him the purpose of a game he INITIATED with me online and he said he didnt know and I asked another question then he just didn't answer again. WEIRDOOOOOOOOOOO.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Were you the one who ended it? He does seem a bit strange!
Author Lucky555 Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 yes i ended it because he hurt me very bad. He used the excuse of his ex as a way to NOT commit. He actually lied to me in the beginning, saying he wanted a relationship then a few months later said he was not ready for anything serious. He was an IDIOT. After the stunt he just pulled I wont be responding to anymore of his messages he def is a flake. I think he wanted attention possibly and thought i would be crawling back to him. HAHAHA I will wait for the man who treats me right.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I think he wanted attention possibly and thought i would be crawling back to him. HAHAHA I will wait for the man who treats me right. Great attitiude! Sounds like he was just sending you messages so you could start back conversing with him. Let him be! Figure out the concept of these online games yourself. lol
lilmrcheerful Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 He certainly seems like he didn't have a clue how to respect the relationship (or friendship even) between you both. I think perhaps you should stay away, initiate NC which is basically what I've done now with my ex although she was the one who ended it for absolutely no valid reason other than to get back with her ex, so yes, NC is the best option to take in any circumstance that the person had caused so much pain, especially if it was intentional. Good luck anyway, I am sure you will find that guy of your dreams soon enough
D-Lish Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I don't know why they do it. I've found that the more you ignore someone after a break up, the more effort they make to contact. My ex is doing it as well. Couldn't commit, started distancing- so I left him. He is now trying to worm his way back into my life. Are you going to block him from IM?
Author Lucky555 Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 EYECANDY000 Quote: Great attitiude! Sounds like he was just sending you messages so you could start back conversing with him. Let him be! Figure out the concept of these online games yourself. lol Yes, it seemed like it. The game he Initiated though...which is what also is weird. So i will stop responding to that. I have no problem chatting but even a friend would treat me just like he did. I think its just a sign of immaturity. lilmrcheerful: He certainly seems like he didn't have a clue how to respect the relationship (or friendship even) between you both. I think perhaps you should stay away, initiate NC which is basically what I've done now with my ex although she was the one who ended it for absolutely no valid reason other than to get back with her ex, so yes, NC is the best option to take in any circumstance that the person had caused so much pain, especially if it was intentional. Good luck anyway, I am sure you will find that guy of your dreams soon enough Yeah NC i believe is good also. I am not chatting with him at all just was so weird that he just INITIATES conversation and games online since he has not done this. break up was 9 months ago and we agreed to be "friends" like i said i broke it off because of his ex. Not dealing with it. Have not been contacting him either. So I don't know hes a flake. On to finding the right guy and thanks for the luck i wish u luck also to find the girl of your dreams!
Author Lucky555 Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 D-lish I don't know why they do it. I've found that the more you ignore someone after a break up, the more effort they make to contact. My ex is doing it as well. Couldn't commit, started distancing- so I left him. He is now trying to worm his way back into my life. Are you going to block him from IM? This has happened to you also. I myself just cut strings from a series of duds and now the ex was communicating with me. ITS SO WEIRD! I won't block him because he is friends with my brother but i won't reply to him since he does the same thing to me. He probably realized I'm "very casual" with him and sees that hes not getting anywhere with me. I have become a very strong young woman after dealing with him i swear it was months of emotional hell. It took me 8 months to regain my emotional stability and date again and I'm not going to go back to someone like that.
D-Lish Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 This has happened to you also. I myself just cut strings from a series of duds and now the ex was communicating with me. ITS SO WEIRD! I won't block him because he is friends with my brother but i won't reply to him since he does the same thing to me. He probably realized I'm "very casual" with him and sees that hes not getting anywhere with me. I have become a very strong young woman after dealing with him i swear it was months of emotional hell. It took me 8 months to regain my emotional stability and date again and I'm not going to go back to someone like that. Good for you. Sounds like you've made many gains. It's funny, my ex just contacted me on msn a couple days ago because I wrote on my msn that I was going to a Leaf game... His first question was "who you going to the game with??" Lol.. Now he is texting me constantly. He thinks I am going on a date obviously... People that walk away and then decide they want to come back whenever they want- on their terms- well it's bothersome. They don't know if they want you, but they do know they don't want to be without you either. The thought of someone else having you is even more disturbing to them. The bottom line is that it's selfish on his part. I'm glad you've come out on top.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Good for you. Sounds like you've made many gains. It's funny, my ex just contacted me on msn a couple days ago because I wrote on my msn that I was going to a Leaf game... His first question was "who you going to the game with??" Lol.. Now he is texting me constantly. He thinks I am going on a date obviously... People that walk away and then decide they want to come back whenever they want- on their terms- well it's bothersome. They don't know if they want you, but they do know they don't want to be without you either. The thought of someone else having you is even more disturbing to them. The bottom line is that it's selfish on his part. I'm glad you've come out on top. Yes indeed I HAVE, he just responded to the question just a second ago as i am typing this haha. But i am too busy to chat with him otherwise doing something more important! HAHAHA These type of people are a piece of WORK! Don't deal with it, Don't need it, I believe you are right the thought of being with someone else part. I'm glad you were able to share your experience with me because I have not experienced this before and its very confusing at the time they start entering your life...I can see things very clearly though .
lilmrcheerful Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 People that walk away and then decide they want to come back whenever they want- on their terms- well it's bothersome. They don't know if they want you, but they do know they don't want to be without you either. The thought of someone else having you is even more disturbing to them. The bottom line is that it's selfish on his part. I really needed to read something like this in regarding the current situation I am in. It's still very early stages of my breakup but prior to her dumping me she "couldn't live without me and I was the best boyfriend a girl could ever wish for and loved me forever" type thing, Yea I was that great that she dumped me the next day in favour of an ex that's been after her for months. I suspect you're right, I think these people inherently believe they still have a "hold" on them and would be able to pick and choose a time to enter back should they wish, I suspect that almost always happens when their original dumper wasn't able to find what they were looking for so they go backwards to find it, and unfortunately my silly ex-gf fell in that trap, why don't people realise that if it didn't work the first time how on earth would it work the second time? I only believe in second chances working when two people have a trial seperation without anybody else involved so that they can have some thinking time alone to work on the issues that caused the seperation, otherwise I think getting back with an ex (especially the chasing dumper who wasn't able to move on) will still have either the same issues, or worse, they just simply haven't "grown" up.
pandagirl Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Ugh. It's so annoying when exes contact you. I've been in a vicious cycle that I am taking myself out of now. Without fail, he contacts me 1-2 a month, then disappears until he pops up again. I'm so tired of it! These are selfish, insecure people, with the emotional intelligence of a peanut.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Ugh. It's so annoying when exes contact you. I've been in a vicious cycle that I am taking myself out of now. Without fail, he contacts me 1-2 a month, then disappears until he pops up again. I'm so tired of it! These are selfish, insecure people, with the emotional intelligence of a peanut.[/quote] WOW you know these kind of people too in reference to the bold lettering here. This describes this guy to a T! He is very selfish, he is insecure, and he actually used to be very manipulative, like use the emotions i felt for him and then play me...first he would be very warm and friendly and then out of the blue any day of the week he could become distant, cold, and ignore me. It was unlike anything i had ever experienced with any guy! this is very uplifting because I am a very nice person and I used to CARE and because i cared i would let him back in my life just like that.....HOWEVER, after posting on LS for a few months after the break up and having people help me out....well now the same guy is returning like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! HAHAHAHA These people need therapy or a good kick in the rear!
D-Lish Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 ...first he would be very warm and friendly and then out of the blue any day of the week he could become distant, cold, and ignore me. It was unlike anything i had ever experienced with any guy! this is very uplifting because I am a very nice person and I used to CARE and because i cared i would let him back in my life just like that.....HOWEVER, after posting on LS for a few months after the break up and having people help me out....well now the same guy is returning like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! HAHAHAHA These people need therapy or a good kick in the rear! Sounds like a commitment phobe? They often return over and over again. They reach a level of intimacy and comfort- then distance and take off like a shot. It's not the regular distancing that can sometimes take place in a relationship... It's a regular and ongoing struggle with guys like that. I'm done with dealing with guys like that. My ex is a self described CP. It seems the more aloof I am with him, the more he pursues me. These people DO need therapy- but unfortunately- because they rarely commit to anything, they'll leave that too.
Girlygirl1977 Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Sounds like a commitment phobe? They often return over and over again. They reach a level of intimacy and comfort- then distance and take off like a shot. It's not the regular distancing that can sometimes take place in a relationship... It's a regular and ongoing struggle with guys like that. I'm done with dealing with guys like that. My ex is a self described CP. It seems the more aloof I am with him, the more he pursues me. These people DO need therapy- but unfortunately- because they rarely commit to anything, they'll leave that too. Good posts on this - I feel I have been dealing with a CP and after ending it 2 weeks ago he is doing what you said (trying to keep a hold/influence). I actually went on vacation for the long weekend (a place I have a friend but which we considered for this wknd when we were together) and he came by himself. I won't get into details but when I invited him to join us for dinner he said he didn't realize it would be all these other people so I met him for a drink after. But your msg rings really true and I'll take it to heart. I think CPs can't commit to you but are also equally non-commital on leaving. . . Great posts!
Author Lucky555 Posted January 20, 2009 Author Posted January 20, 2009 so what is that this EXXXXXX guy want? hes still trying to initiate an online game with me...its through the facebook. Now I'm just getting irritated because this guy couldn't commit to me for over a year and half!!!!!!!!! I'll just keep ignoring him and hope he goes away. I was head of heels for him at one point in my life and I can't go through that pain again. Even the other night he was talking to me and its like what the hell do you want! I believe he is "emotionally insecure" and "manipulative" GRRR!
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