feel_sick Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 I've met someone absolutely amazing on New year's Eve. We met, and as lame as it may sound, our eyes LOCKED and it was instant chemistry. I have NEVER felt this type of chemistry, even when I met my ex-husband. We spent the night talking, dancing and eventually kissing. He was practically begging to take me out when he comes back for work the next week. To make a long story short, we COMPLETELY hit it off. I spend the next few days excited and quite honestly constantly thinking about him. He comes back for work and we go out. I can finally see if my beer googles were on, or if when we're in a quiet room if we totally have nothing to talk about...Nope. Quite the opposite. It was EVEN BETTER than the first night. He is basically 100% amazing. I live in Boston, he lives in Philly. He used to live here, but got a job that relocated him there. He comes back here a bit since the company he works for is headquartered here. It was pretty hard to separate the other night, but he mentioned he wants to "take it slow" I know it is crazy to want to jump right in, but I am totally crushing on him. He has a super busy job and we only talk or text about twice a week so far. I KNOW he likes me, he has mentioned how much chemistry we have and how he always wants to kiss me. He feels totally right. I am basically super anxious and I feel it would be so easy to see each other more often. It's only a $150 plane ticket. So far he is coming back in FEBRUARY. It's only Jan 18th! I don't know if I should contact him- and I don't even know what to SAY at this point because I have no idea when he is coming back. If he lived in my city it'd be easy, I could just call and ask him out...but asking him to fly here or asking if I can fly there just sounds creepy and obsessed. He texted this the next day after our "date" (?) this week "hi feel-sick, i just wanted to thank you again for last night. I had a really good time and was glad we got to hang out. I just got off the plane in philly so unfortunately i won't be around this weekend (there was a chance his work would have asked him to stay for the weekend to work) Let's keep in touch and hopefully we'll be in the same place again soon" I know I am totally over analyzing, but... "hang out" "keep in touch" ughhhh I don't want him to be be like "omg i love u" but after an awesome night together (no we haven't had sex, only have kissed...A LOT) I really wished for a more motivating text. A less formal one. He mentioned he cannot read me (I don't know why!) I certainly cannot read him! Anyone have any thoughts? I'm totally new to LDR.
Island Girl Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Did you sleep with him on "date" night? Really needs an answer...this question does make a difference at this point. Sorry but his text sounded like he was backing off. The "hanging out" comment and "hopefully we'll be in the same place again soon" don't bode well. I'd wait to see if he contacts you. You won't hurt anything by waiting - especially since he already said point blank that he wants this to move along slowly. But you can screw things up if you push it. He isn't calling to talk to you? That would be big red flag for me - I mean every phone plan has free LD for the states right? Just play the waiting game as hard as it may be. Try to keep yourself busy because I know you are just about tied up in knots at this point.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I agree, back off because he is too. Don't contact him. Let him take the initiative. Not everyone wants an LDR and maybe, he's rethinking this component. As something to be careful of, are you 100% certain he's not previously committed? This might be the time to verify this information.
Author feel_sick Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 I agree. I would have preferred "happy we got to see each other" instead of "happy we got to hang out" And "keep in touch" is just...ugh NO. We did NOT sleep together, We only kissed/ made out a little bit. He did not get any of my clothes off, and didn't touch me anywhere. It was pretty PG. I guess the only thing I CAN do is wait. It's all so confusing though because when we're together, all he does is compliment me and make me feel great. Then the cryptic text message. (which he also sent a similar one after new years) As far as the having a girlfriend, he has said he did not, had one for 2 years in the past and it didn't work out (for whatever reason) He seems really old-fashioned and sheltered to be honest. He doesn't strike me at all as a player. I am pretty keen to knowing a cheater since my ex-husband was cheating on me, I think I am going for a different type of man at this point in my life... He's a first year-lawyer and works at one of the top firms in the US. I mean I KNOW he's busy, but still....
Island Girl Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Yeah busy. First year lawyer at a huge very prestigious firm - there is probably quite a bit of work and pressure. Glad to hear you kept things "PG" it puts the text in a better light. Maybe not so much of a "kiss off". He said he wanted to take things really slowly. So don't jump the gun. If he is interested he WILL be in contact and he IS coming back in February right? That isn't too far away. Just a few weeks now. Hang in there. I know you really feel the chemistry and you feel like all of your senses have just been awakened. It has got to be tough no doubt. But he is not more special than you are. He is not more fantastic than you are. You need to hold on to the fact that if he didn't feel what you feel then he is missing out. It will help with the waiting if you keep telling yourself that, I promise. You can not put all of your hopes into this guy because you do not know him enough yet. You truly do not know if he is worthy of you. It doesn't matter how accomplished he is, or how wonderful his personality seems. He could be a guy with big problems - you simply just don't know enough yet. Keep that in mind and I hope that brings you down to more of a level of peace while the waiting game begins. I wish you all the best and that he contacts you very soon about his visit. Keep us all posted. The people here will be pulling for you I'm sure.
Author feel_sick Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Island_Girl, thanks you made me feel better, really. He was in the top 10% of his class at Yale Law so, yeah, he definitely got a good, busy job after law school...I was pretty flattered he spent 8 hours of the 36 hours he was here for work with me, so I guess I'll have to wait it out...and as you know, waiting for anything, especially these emotions SUCKS! I am hoping to update this thread with a positive response soon....
Author feel_sick Posted January 30, 2009 Author Posted January 30, 2009 Well he's still breathing everyone. After a few (infrequent) texts back and forth, I texted him on Tuesday and asked him if he was coming north anytime soon.... After a cute, but not clear-answer-text back, I decided to "give up" so to speak. I felt like I threw it out there that I was hoping to see him...soon. He calls 2 days later and told me he'll be here in 2 weeks. He isn't coming up for work either. Feeling much more optimistic!
TMichaels Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 Woo-hoo! Sounds promising, feel_sick! Crossing my fingers for you! Best, TMichaels
Island Girl Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I am so happy for you! He is going to have undivided attention to spend since he is not coming on business and I hope he spends all of that with you! Keep us posted!
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