joeLove Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 I met this lady a few months ago, she didn't want to give me her phone number when i asked, but offered me her email instead. Since then we have exchanged lots of emails (almost daily) and have been on a couple of dates (One lunch date and a dancing date). After the second date, she told me she had a few tough weeks ahead of her (she is in medical school and has a full time job at the same time) and she wouldn't be very available for anything. A few days ago, after not hearing from her for a while, i called one of those flower shops and have them deliver her some really nice flowers (no roses) at her office. She responded to me with an email where she thanked me for the flowers, praised the choice i made. She then went on to say that her life is too crazy and she didn't think anyone can put up with her...She said, she couldn't offer me more than her friendship ...Then she concluded by asking me to let her know, if she was being too harsh ... I would like anyone's input on the followings: 1. Was it ok for me to send her flowers at this stage? When should a man give a lady flowers? What's your experience? 2. Should i move on and/or continue looking elsewhere? Input welcome ... especially from ladies...
Geishawhelk Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 1. Was it ok for me to send her flowers at this stage? Yes. When should a man give a lady flowers? I think you judged it pretty well. What's your experience? received them. Always thought it was lovely. 2. Should i move on and/or continue looking elsewhere? Yes.
Tomcat33 Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 YES is is ALWAYS a good time to send a woman flowers. I am a total fan of flowers and have received many many flowers from men in my life and let me tell you it gets the same reaction every single time I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!! While in this case it seemed like a wasted effort seeing as she is not into the idea of dating, I still think you did the right thing in putting it out there like that. In future send a woman you love flowers especially when she is reciprocating your love it is an absolutely beautiful gesture. Don't get into the habit of sending them only when you want something significant in return. Flowers "just because" is the the nicest gesture you could have for a woman. IMO of course, some women hate flowers... Move on, this woman is not ready for what you want.
jerbear Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 I would like anyone's input on the followings: 1. Was it ok for me to send her flowers at this stage? When should a man give a lady flowers? What's your experience?[/Quote] It was a good time anytime. Think of it this way, only costs you roses. Another time to give is the day after the deed for the first time. 2. Should i move on and/or continue looking elsewhere?Keep her as friends, move on, and look elsewhere.
socialight Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 flowers are a good hastener. They tend to make a girl call her hand. If she is going to flake out on you she will do it much faster when the roses show up. It saves you time and money in the long run.
Trialbyfire Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I think it really sweet that you sent her flowers. I do agree that you should move on or at minimum, not consider her your sole focus. Her life's "too busy and frenetic" to make her a worthwhile investment, even if she's being honest. People make time for others they want to be with.
alphamale Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 1. Was it ok for me to send her flowers at this stage? no, one never sends flowers after the lady states she's too busy to be with you... 2. Should i move on and/or continue looking elsewhere? yes
Jersey Shortie Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Although while I think it was a very kind and romantic gesture on your part, and all ladies do like flowers, I still think it was too soon at the stage you were at with her. It sounds like she was trying to put it in the friend zone before the flowers. She should have been more direct with you. For myself, I love flowers but it's not going to make me be more into a guy if I don't feel it for him. However, if I am into the guy and he gets flowers for me, I am totally going to be all over him kissing and hugging him. If you had been dating this woman consistently, and she was giving you more signs of interest, it would have been a different story. Although that one guy sociallight is right that it will make a lady show her hand more quickly. Keep her as a friend, she might have other friends!
kashmir Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I say never give a woman flowers until you've been going out for at least a few months. It's too strong of a gesture. While you might just mean it in a way that says, "Hey, you're cool and pretty" a lot of women will interpret it as a sign of clinginess. Getting your girlfriend flowers for her birthday - good idea. Getting flowers for a woman you've seen only a few times - bad idea.
underpants Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Am I the only one that am off put by cut flowers? To me they mean I'm sick, dead or someone really screwed up. Considering that she is in the medical field a card that says "get well soon" might be funny. If you just have to send a final bouquet, then I like that. Other then that it sounds like she is trying to be nice but saying no. She likes you and is flattered by the effort, but just not interested, for whatever reason. Flowers won't make a difference when disinterest is already communicated.
Confusedalways Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I think it really sweet that you sent her flowers. I do agree that you should move on or at minimum, not consider her your sole focus. Her life's "too busy and frenetic" to make her a worthwhile investment, even if she's being honest. People make time for others they want to be with. I have to agree with this. After reading this whole thread, it just sounds like it is very dependent on the girl as far as if it was too soon or not. I personally don't think it was too soon, but I do think you should move on or at least put her on the back burner.
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