IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 So why not practice on someone else first. Someone who you can tell your situation and have them give you a little help. Go into a club, find a woman a little older and confess your situation. If you can get one to believe you then they'll probably jump at the chance to show you the ropes.
Geishawhelk Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 No. This isn't going to work. because everything you do will seem - and indeed, be - choreographed, stilted and rehearsed. You need to work on you first, and you need to shift the focus onto being open and receptive, willingly giving and instinctive, long before you get to the blouse and breasts stage. It should all come as near-naturally to you as possible. Right now, you'd look completely false and insincere.
Author Regan Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Been able to kiss her without a problem. Guess I am going to have to wing it this weekend. Plus, practicing on someone else would probably piss here off even more. We'll have a few drinks, so that should make it easier. I'll just pretend I am someone else instead of myself. Therefore, that could remove some of the hesitation on my part. Only problem I see is she is a smart lady. Hopefully, she will not pick it up. If she does, I'll just say its been a while. If screws everything up, I guess then I can go back to my old routine. All in all, its a toss up it seems. I would think, since she is coming over to my apt, she would assume that I would make a move on her. Unless, she moves on me first. Most of the kisses she leaned into me. I am slow at times, but I will just have to attempt to anticipate her next move before she does it. Wow. A lot of things I need to go over and plan in my head. I think I have a 50/50 shot of success or failure. I look sincere in what I do always. Its not hard for me to get most people to like me. I am not an evilly intentioned person. I have my objectives and I go do it. Easier when it is not personal, so I just have to learn to block out those emotions. Or, at least not show them on my face. Or be hesitant in my moves. Confusing, but doable.
Geishawhelk Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Been able to kiss her without a problem. Guess I am going to have to wing it this weekend. Plus, practicing on someone else would probably piss here off even more. We'll have a few drinks, so that should make it easier. I'll just pretend I am someone else instead of myself. Not a good idea. Who are you going to pretend to be. Bruce Willis? Tom Cruise? You need to be yourself.Then you run less than a 5-% chasnce of failure. Much less. If she's this experienced, she'll pick up in no time. then be pissed off because you were so obviously trying to be something you're not. Don't disrespect her in this way. She's not an experiment.... I look sincere in what I do always. Its not hard for me to get most people to like me. I am not an evilly intentioned person. Nobody thinks you are. But I would say you have issue running deeper than "What do I do next?" And perhaps a chat with a counsellor wouldn't go amiss. I have my objectives and I go do it. Easier when it is not personal, so I just have to learn to block out those emotions. Or, at least not show them on my face. Or be hesitant in my moves. Confusing, but doable. Why even take the risk? You can't wing the rest of your life hoping that charm will be enough to pull the wool over people's eyes. You owe it to the potential in you, to try to advance a bit, instead of remaining stuck in 'winging it'. To thine own self be true. You keep shoving things in the closet (metaphorically speaking!) then you'll never get rid of the main issue. Which is your self-sabotaging.
Surfer Dude Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Is this thread for real? You should walk up to a random woman, close your eyes and say "WILL YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME", that should work nicely. Assuming the OP is serious, what is exactly the problem here? I really don't see how we can help you. Can't you just follow your instincts? Like, if you're kissing, your hands naturally move towards her breasts, and then south.. then you feel her up and everything. Assuming you really have no idea what sex and seduction look like, have you ever seen a Hollywood movie? That should give you a pretty clear picture.
Author Regan Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 I think I got this. I just need to know how to start the kissing part. That is where I am week. The other stuff will come back to me. So we are maybe sitting at the couch watching TV after dinner. How do I do it? Gee whiz, I feel like a kid. Doubt she will start. What do I do. Caress her hair? I basically look at it like this. She's coming to the apt. She's probably expecting something. Making out or something. Doesn't have to be full blown sex. I have done and received oral sex, so I know that part. Its been a while, but the parts are all in the same place. The kick start is my problem.
Author Regan Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Is this thread for real? You should walk up to a random woman, close your eyes and say "WILL YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME", that should work nicely. Assuming the OP is serious, what is exactly the problem here? I really don't see how we can help you. Can't you just follow your instincts? Like, if you're kissing, your hands naturally move towards her breasts, and then south.. then you feel her up and everything. Assuming you really have no idea what sex and seduction look like, have you ever seen a Hollywood movie? That should give you a pretty clear picture. Its the initiation of the kissing. That is my only hessitation. The rest I think will not be a problem. I do not do things from instinct. That might be the problem, but that is not something I can unlearn.
ruggy Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Let's see. Lean in and kiss her. What is so hard? She would not be there if she did not have an interest in you. Are you like this in front of her?
Author Regan Posted January 26, 2009 Author Posted January 26, 2009 done the deed. oral for both of us lasted pretty long. sex did not really. bout 3 or 4 mins. anybody knows of some herbs that help a man from ejacting too fast? seeing her again soon.
zenith Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 done the deed. oral for both of us lasted pretty long. sex did not really. bout 3 or 4 mins. anybody knows of some herbs that help a man from ejacting too fast? seeing her again soon. nice! I'm happy for you never mind about how long it lasted, did both of you enjoy it?
carhill Posted January 26, 2009 Posted January 26, 2009 OP, try a thicker condom for more plateau time. Also, read up on how to pace intercourse to delay orgasm. There are certain muscles to use and ones to avoid, amongst other techniques. Lastly, the second, third and fourth times you naturally last longer
Author Regan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Posted February 7, 2009 Sorry guys. Works been a bitch lately. It was ok, I really do not see the big point as to why everyone gets so worked up as they need it all the time. It is better than doin' the old knuckle shuffle, but the relationship part is a real bitch. Not the person, the relationship. I sometimes wonder if being celabit for all this time was that bad of an idea. Even more if there really is a need for the intercourse that much. Celabitcy is not that bad. Been fine all these years. Could be that I am a loner and have no problems being alone. I guess cause I am in my element and that I have been like this for so long changing the routine is really hard. Not sure if it is worth it. I have my own daemons to worry about. Adding someone else's to it is just overload. Yes I am a bit weird I know.If you had done the same thing for so long close to two decades or so you could see my point. Never was a big social person after 10th grade. It was nice to experience it but the hype is more than what it is/was worth. Do not get me wrong I did enjoy it but I get the near same release with my trusty knuckle shuffle. No talk back either. I am the weird one in the family no doubt about that. Both my bro and sis were married already. One of em had a kid by my age. Guess I am still in survival mode and I am stuck in this gear. I don't really let anyone in and keep all a foot away including family. And no I am not going to get a shrink to help me. I definately missed the social part of my childhoon and teens. And I am paying for it now and most likely for the future comming. Plus those people are expensive. Not really worth it. Not looking for pitty or atta boys. Just trying to think out loud to ping it off other people. Wish Loveshack was around when I was a teen. Probably wouldn't be so you know nutty.
prettybaby Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 ^^ I'm curious; how would you feel if she took matters in her own hands and basically took the lead and initiated everything, including physical intimacy?
Author Regan Posted February 7, 2009 Author Posted February 7, 2009 Doubtful. Even though we have the same interests, goals, morals, background, and future she said she was not sure we were the best match. Said no problem wished her well and good bye. It stings a bit but I'll get over it. Main issue is since I have been on my own for so long and only depended on myself it is hard to let someone else in. I let her in a bit and then I get that crap above. Maybe I gave her too much attention cause I am new at this and wanted to show I was interested in her as a person. Contacted her every two or three days. She did the same back and forth. Felt something was at amiss a few days ago when she did not get back to me. This is when that line above came up in a following email to me. The funny thing is we made plans for valentines day. I asked her thought she would like it. She smiled and said yes. Her previous relationships seemed to be the guy who was a bad ass or a guy who needed someone to lean on. I don't and I am proud of it. I also don't run after people or beg them to stay. It is not me. I got by with no one for years. I can continue to survive by myself for years more. It would had been nice if she told me this in the beginning so I would not had developed feelings for her. But it happened. A relationship is not a requirement for survival. I can survive just fine moving forward. Just going back to surpressing those feelings and it will be all good.
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