mortensorchid Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Well did I dodge a bullet with this wackjob! Just to review, this man I had connected with on Match sent a text message to me (after exchanging a few friendly emails and one or two conversations), after we had planned to get together that weekend. He sent a message saying "Kort I think you're totally cool but I'm going to Mexico this weekend". So I decided I had been blown off. Plus, after checking that Kort is not some text message lingo I'm not familiar with, I decided he had actually called me by another's name. Specifically, Kortney, which is not my first name, insidentally! Saturday night I was at home (We were snowed in here in Northeast Ohio) when he called me (and he called me by the correct name). I said I was surprised to hear from him, since I thought he was in Mexico. He said he decided not to go. Decided not to go?! Just like that?! He said he couldn't afford to take the trip, but he'd be able to recoop on the frequent flier miles. I thought that was very strange, but decided to hear more of what he had to say. Big mistake. He kept me on the phone - I'm not kidding - for THREE HOURS! I kept telling him that I wanted to get up and do a few more things before I went to bed that night, but he kept pushing me to stay on longer on these tangents. He also wanted me to open up about my sexual history and asking me really intrusive questions (am I bi, am I a swinger, etc.) I simply told him that I'm not comfortable answering any of those questions to a person whose last name I didn't even know and would he stop asking me those things. He pursued other topics, but always came back to these. I was disgusted by this. I am a very laid back person, and I accept others as they are, but this was really offensive. I was just glad this guy had no idea where I was or what my last name is. What would cause a person to do this?!?!
wuggle Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 What would cause a person to do this?!?! Being an ar**hole !. Bullet well dodged, better luck next time.
carhill Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 The first part no problem....I was cool with everything up to the content of what he was "keeping you on the phone for 3 hours". Online dating = multi-dating = polite non-disclosure (white lies). Women do this all the time. My wife did it while we were dating after meeting on the predecessor of Match.com a decade ago. Once she saw a potential in me, she disclosed. I don't see it as an issue. Trip part....frequent fliers (I am one) book award flights all the time, for themselves, family and friends. If you fly a lot, you can cancel and change such flights without penalty. I've done the same thing many times, booking flights and later canceling if something else comes up or I find I don't have the money (generally, for me, the airline and hotel are "free") for the trip. No biggie. Tying someone I don't know up on the phone for hours and talking about personal and sexual subjects is just plain wrong. Huge red flag. I had a few women do that to me back when I was phone "dating" 20 years ago. I was too polite (yes, stupidly so) to hang up on them. OP, I agree this guy is a flake and not a gentleman at all, but, that said, expect guys you meet online to not tell you everything and when you hear of sudden travel plan changes, it isn't necessarily bogus or a lie. Look at the totality of the situation. Better luck next time
Geishawhelk Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 I don't know if you realise this, (And I know it's kind of a hard technologically-driven mechanism) but as he rang you, you apparently have every liberty during a 'phone call to hang up. I believe that it's equally possible to do this, even if you're the one who made the call....!! Amazing what can be done, nowadays......
Author mortensorchid Posted January 21, 2009 Author Posted January 21, 2009 Well, FYI about the situation, just to put a period on the sentence about the man who suddenly decided not to go to Mexico but kept me on the phone asking about my sexual history for THREE HOURS and me refusing to talk about it. We were supposed to get together the next day. I drove out to his suburb on a separate errand and thought of sending him a text or calling, just saying I was in the neighborhood. But didn't. I did hear from him again, that night he sent a text out of the blue saying "F--- you whore". What a psycho!
carhill Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Yep, been there heard that Emotion operating without the benefit of intellect. Glad you dodged that bullet...
zhsoj Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Wow. Just wow. Is it possible that you could contact Match.com about his behavior? They may not care, but maybe they will take action and ban the idiot.
You'reasian Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Well did I dodge a bullet with this wackjob! Just to review, this man I had connected with on Match sent a text message to me (after exchanging a few friendly emails and one or two conversations), after we had planned to get together that weekend. He sent a message saying "Kort I think you're totally cool but I'm going to Mexico this weekend". So I decided I had been blown off. Plus, after checking that Kort is not some text message lingo I'm not familiar with, I decided he had actually called me by another's name. Specifically, Kortney, which is not my first name, insidentally! Saturday night I was at home (We were snowed in here in Northeast Ohio) when he called me (and he called me by the correct name). I said I was surprised to hear from him, since I thought he was in Mexico. He said he decided not to go. Decided not to go?! Just like that?! He said he couldn't afford to take the trip, but he'd be able to recoop on the frequent flier miles. I thought that was very strange, but decided to hear more of what he had to say. Big mistake. He kept me on the phone - I'm not kidding - for THREE HOURS! I kept telling him that I wanted to get up and do a few more things before I went to bed that night, but he kept pushing me to stay on longer on these tangents. He also wanted me to open up about my sexual history and asking me really intrusive questions (am I bi, am I a swinger, etc.) I simply told him that I'm not comfortable answering any of those questions to a person whose last name I didn't even know and would he stop asking me those things. He pursued other topics, but always came back to these. I was disgusted by this. I am a very laid back person, and I accept others as they are, but this was really offensive. I was just glad this guy had no idea where I was or what my last name is. What would cause a person to do this?!?! Sounds bizarre? Probably a reason why I've discontinued using dating sites. I take it you're still having fun dating? Its so funny - the person we want is right there in front of us at times, yet we don't pay attention to them lol
dreamergrl Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Perhaps he has a disorder that causes him to think you are someone you really aren't
movingonandon Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 i don't understand why spend so much effort trying to understand complete stranger to begin with... you haven't even met him if everybody spent so much time on every whackjob we encountered, we'd not have time for anything else.
dashing daisy Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 He's a creep, an as**ole, and sounds generally messed up in the head. I'm glad you didn't meet him in person! And if the situation ever comes up on the phone again, hang up. No need to waste your time on someone who is rude and disgusting to you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 He sounds like he has multiple personalities, or something. What a weirdo.
D-Lish Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 He actually texted you and called you an effing whore? He's whacked. You've never met him and have never engaged in a sexual conversation... but he texts you something like that? Issues, issues, issues. You dodged a bullet!
Star Gazer Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Why, may I ask, didn't you just hang up on him? What person stays on the phone for 3 hours with someone they've already determined (1) blew them off, (2) called them by another name, (3) is a liar, and (4) a wackjob? You knew this about him before he even called. I'm sorry to sound harsh here, but are you that desperate (yes, desperate) for male attention???
Geishawhelk Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I know. I did point out she could have hung up, because technology has thought of that little gem. I'm sorry, but doesn't it strike anyone that she's as much of a whackjob for harping on about it ans staying on the 'phone for 3 hours? (3 Hours?? You have that much time to burn and waste away like that?? 3 full hours?? That's six episodes of Home and Away!!Gimme your job, I'll do it!) :laugh:
IrishCarBomb Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 Wait... where did he lie? From what I can tell, he was honest, but just pretty creepy (maybe too honest). There seems to be a few holes in this, but I guess sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.
O'Malley Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 I'm sorry, but doesn't it strike anyone that she's as much of a whackjob for harping on about it ans staying on the 'phone for 3 hours? She should have told him it would cost $1.99 per minute for the phone session. Hopefully Kort is profiting from these conversations.
Adamagnet Posted January 21, 2009 Posted January 21, 2009 We were supposed to get together the next day. Was this assumed by both parties even after the phone call that disgusted you? It's possible he didn't even know that the phonecall went poorly and thought things were still on. In that case receiving an insolent text shouldn't be surprising...
Author mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Wow. Just wow. Is it possible that you could contact Match.com about his behavior? They may not care, but maybe they will take action and ban the idiot. I did report him to the site. I said this may be an isolated instance, but he might pull this on someone else. Not sure if they can do something about it, or not, but I did report him.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 27, 2009 Author Posted January 27, 2009 Hang up on him? I did consider it, believe me. But, I guess the only explanation is that it was like watching a hideous car wreck that was horrible and hideous, but for some reason you can't take your eyes off of it.
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