Patterns to separation and divorce

[urdone]

Hi, I have been separated for 3 weeks now, I have posted on another thread the ghastly story but basically what this is about is this-

 

I firmly believe there are std gender operating patterns for separation and the reasons behind it.

 

IE- wife nags, bitches and moans constantly (not always her fault) but over reaction beyond any logical sense, she goes out for 4 weeks in a row night clubbing and drinking with the girls and a guy friend (which she very seldomly ever did). On Xmas eve I find a very suspect text message on her phone which makes me believe she was literally inviting this guy to "come and get her". On Xmas day she leaves, breaks up the marriage says she is going to divorce me. This is a pattern I seem to see over and over in many stories in one form or another.

 

What I am trying to figure out is the post separation "formula", she has still gone out every weekend since night clubbing/drinking etc, she used to be a solid christain women (even not so long ago, and didn't even drink at all) and it seems as if her whole personality has changed, it's as if she is more interested in being social, texting people and acting completey out of character then looking after her son (when he is with her she pawns him off to an auntie). I have spoken to her twice on the phone now in realtion to my son (she has made no contact with me) She seems almost as if she is a different person, not even really aware of what I'm talking about as if she has lost her mind.

 

She nutted off about being 30 on Jan 13, this date and or age seems to have some very important meaning, she says she has reevaluated her life/goals etc and there is no place for me in it....she has happily flushed our family down the drain for her own "I want to be rich" pie in the unrealistic dreams and demands.

 

I am still very shocked and never expected this, esp not from her, I don't really understand and would like to know what is going on inside her head. Is it typical for women in the situation to act out in such a strange manner.

 

She finally wen to church today, she has not been there in 2 months, she seemed to be there but no there!, she was talking and joking with her cousin, and not really paying any attention to what was going on at the pulpit...which oddly enought was condeming everything her new lifestyle was about.

 

I have always loved her and really looked after her, I would never cheat. I thought we would never break up, maybe I was just blind to the signs, I have come to accept that I can indeed carry some of the blame but this is so out of line, so totally over the top.

 

I believe this is all about her, not me. I am almost certain this is some for of early mid life crisis. This "new her", seems to be on a really weird trip and I can only see it ending in folly, she would have been shocked and disturbed if her own friends had done anything like this 6 months ago.

 

Please share your insights. Thanks.

[Mr. Lucky]

The simple answer is that your wife having an affair. She's in the "fog" stage where nothing - not marriage, children, family, church or work - seems as important as the rush of feeling that she gets from this new relationship.

 

You'll get many answers here regarding strategies to address this. They'll run the gamut from "win her back" to "kick her out". I would only advise to think carefully at each stage about what you want and what is best for your child. Obviously, if you stay in the marriage, there is much work to be done. You should brace yourself as the next couple of weeks will be hard. Let us know how it goes...

 

Mr. Lucky

[steveraves]

It sounds reminiscent of my wife. We separated in April of 08. She put 100% into everything except the family we created. Everytime I wanted to sit down and discuss our relationship and where we went wrong and what we could do to improve things all she wanted to do is just have fun. She left a well paying job in order to see the kids more, but instead of seeing them more she see them less, only on the weekends. I've asked on more than one occasion to attend church with us and her answer has always been "no". She's 36 and will soon be 37 sometimes I think she is going through a midlife crisis. Anyways after 9 months of this I've decided it's time to move on. She's been served with her papers and I'm fighting for custody of the kids. I've learned two things, I can only fix me and to be the best father possible. I finally realized that I can't fix her, she has to do that and doesn't want to.

 

The moral of the story, from my opinion, if she doesn't want to fix herself there's nothing you can say or do to make her change her mind.

 

Good luck to you.

[Mountains10]

Hi, I have been separated for 3 weeks now, I have posted on another thread the ghastly story but basically what this is about is this-

 

I firmly believe there are std gender operating patterns for separation and the reasons behind it.

 

IE- wife nags, bitches and moans constantly (not always her fault) but over reaction beyond any logical sense, she goes out for 4 weeks in a row night clubbing and drinking with the girls and a guy friend (which she very seldomly ever did). On Xmas eve I find a very suspect text message on her phone which makes me believe she was literally inviting this guy to "come and get her". On Xmas day she leaves, breaks up the marriage says she is going to divorce me. This is a pattern I seem to see over and over in many stories in one form or another.

 

What I am trying to figure out is the post separation "formula", she has still gone out every weekend since night clubbing/drinking etc, she used to be a solid christain women (even not so long ago, and didn't even drink at all) and it seems as if her whole personality has changed, it's as if she is more interested in being social, texting people and acting completey out of character then looking after her son (when he is with her she pawns him off to an auntie). I have spoken to her twice on the phone now in realtion to my son (she has made no contact with me) She seems almost as if she is a different person, not even really aware of what I'm talking about as if she has lost her mind.

 

She nutted off about being 30 on Jan 13, this date and or age seems to have some very important meaning, she says she has reevaluated her life/goals etc and there is no place for me in it....she has happily flushed our family down the drain for her own "I want to be rich" pie in the unrealistic dreams and demands.

 

I am still very shocked and never expected this, esp not from her, I don't really understand and would like to know what is going on inside her head. Is it typical for women in the situation to act out in such a strange manner.

 

She finally wen to church today, she has not been there in 2 months, she seemed to be there but no there!, she was talking and joking with her cousin, and not really paying any attention to what was going on at the pulpit...which oddly enought was condeming everything her new lifestyle was about.

 

I have always loved her and really looked after her, I would never cheat. I thought we would never break up, maybe I was just blind to the signs, I have come to accept that I can indeed carry some of the blame but this is so out of line, so totally over the top.

 

I believe this is all about her, not me. I am almost certain this is some for of early mid life crisis. This "new her", seems to be on a really weird trip and I can only see it ending in folly, she would have been shocked and disturbed if her own friends had done anything like this 6 months ago.

 

Please share your insights. Thanks.

 

Geez urdone,

 

Sounds all too familiar. I feel like I say that a lot. My stbxw said to me many times over the years, she can't see herself at 30. Well she's about year from that mark and that's when it all happened, just 4 months ago. Same EXACT pattern here. I almost thought I was reading my story. She comes to me, tells me she doesn't love me, want a divorce. Same weekend, she's out partying all nighters. She tells me she has feelings for another man, a mutual friend of ours, more her friend than mine. Nonetheless, 4 weekends in a row of partying all nighters and I'm an emotional wreck. On the 5th weekend she moves out, still nice as can be to me. Since that's happened, she still does this every weekend. We didn't go to church much during our marriage, so I start back to church. A month or two after, she tells me she found a new church to attend. I ask her if she found one that supports divorce? Couldn't resist.

 

Don't blame yourself, I know there was a lot of nagging that I ignored, but I fixed a lot of the issues that she nagged about. Too little too late, she filed for divorce last week. I've been taking it pretty hard, but I've been getting much better. Know that you did the best you could and now it's time to move on with life. I can't tell you the right thing to do but I've just kept being myself. I may not have the best physique out there, but I'm a good guy, a nice guy, and I've always been confident in myself and my abilities and a hard worker. If she doesn't want that in a man, then she can go find another one. I'm not willing to change my character because she got tired of being treated good. I'm sure I can find another woman who will accept me and love me for the guy that I am. Stay positive, get busy, and maybe get into some counseling if you think it will help. I probably should've gone to counseling, but I never have.

 

Oh and btw, I work with my wife, so there's not too many days that go by that I don't see her. It sucks, but I'm dealing with it.

[NYCmitch25]

Hi, wow, that is an intense story. I'm sorry for your pain - and note I'm going to try to read in between the lines here so I could be off base but:

 

Interestingly, I see nothing normal per se about this situation and hence no magic formula. Nor do I see the point in understanding a formula anyway when one can simply assume a worst case scenario.

 

Honestly, the elephant in the room is perhaps a deep seeded and unresolved issue within her past which is now resurfacing without any transparent reasoning. The grandiose notions of wealth and her other actions seem totally irrational, counterproductive, and hint at past mental issues and hence PTSD etc. etc..

 

To save your marriage, you will have to pick the right way to get her to address this deep-seeded issues. You'll probably have only one shot at it so please seek help first. This is going to require years of professional help and it's really nothing to be ashamed of as most of us could use this kind of relationship help anyway. I guess it's true when they tell you for better or worse ..

 

Good luck, that's my 2 cents...

[urdone]

NYCmitch25-

 

I think you nailed it. When she was young she came from a very abusive family, father molested her and would beat her so badly she was put in hospital and her father in prison, real mother left when she was 2, and her step mother was years of emotional abuse.

 

To her credit she has come along way and forgiven these people, she now has a fairly high paying job for a TV company, and of course is surrounded by many very wealthy but virtually all morally bankrupt flakey *******s. I can't help but feel much of this has rubbed off on her.

 

I feel that the abuse which on the surface has no apparent affect (to outsiders) but it is still lying just under the surface (behind closed doors) , even when she smiles it can turn to anger in seconds, rage within minutes. And this is not normal or natural. She ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT accept there is anything wrong with her and simply can't be told anything. Trying to argue with her would always turn into a 3 day ordeal which could lead to verbal mental or physical abuse.

 

I feel over the years I was more of an emotional punch bag then anything else, and I was the key/reason to all of her own short comings and I was used as the excuse. I think the whole deal is she is trying to escape the memory of a stolen childhood and trying in adulthood to overcompensate for it.

 

I have not chased after her and will not, I don't blame myself...I often joke to myself there were 3 in the marriage, me, her and her anger. Obviously I'm very upset but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture....10 years from now I will probably be remarried and happy?, she may or may not also, but either way I don't think that investing your heart in dollars and cents or casting your pearls before swine will be a very rewarding life or make you happy.

 

I think that for every trial she has overcome the last couple of months have undone everything, I feel that I have lost all respect for her and that has actually helped me alot.

[steveraves]

NYCmitch25-

She ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT accept there is anything wrong with her and simply can't be told anything. Trying to argue with her would always turn into a 3 day ordeal which could lead to verbal mental or physical abuse.

 

I think this is what you need to focus on and deals with what I wrote above. You can tell her all you want to until you're blue in the face, but if she's not willing to help herself your effort will all be in vain.

 

You can fix you, but you can't fix her. She has to do that, and it seems either she doesn't believe she has a problem, or she's not willing to do anything about it.

 

I believe my stbxw has similar issues and inside is truly unhappy. It's taken me 7 months to realize that I can't fix her. I've made every concession possible, compromised, and now I'm at a point where there is nothing else that I can do.

 

I saw my lawyer in December and she was served this past Monday. I don't want the divorce, but kids are involved and I want to make sure my rights are protected. I've made a lot of positive changes for her, and she's done nothing in anyway of making positive changes for me. I can't fix her, and I can't force her to fix herself.

 

Take a look at what you wrote above and focus on that... How much effort and energy are you willing to put in, when you have a pretty good idea what her response is going to be.

[steveraves]

I wanted to add this. It's only been 3 weeks for you don't make the mistakes a lot of us have made by appearing needy or appear that you can't have a life without her. I know I made this mistake, and I've read posts where others have done this too.

 

Ignore her and go about your life and have fun even if you have to fake it. Let her come to you.. When/If she does that stand your ground, be matter of fact and at that time you could tell her that she needs to get help with her issues, and leave it at that.

 

When you get discouraged ask yourself the question would you want to be with her the way she is now?

[urdone]

Yes,

I am determined not to make contact with her unless it directly relates to our son.

 

I don't think at the end of the day it will make any difference, she is making zero contact with me, has said she will divorce me and does not appear to care at all she has not wasted one day and is out with her friends all the time...acting like a pent up teenager that has got their first taste of freedom. The only saving grace is that I can at least walk away with some dignity if nothing else.....The only thing I don't get is why she is so angry at me?....but this once again probably stems from not wanting to accept any blame herself..it's like I already know the answers and am just watching them play out in a text book fashion......However that don't make it any easier!!!.

 

I am just trying to get on with things, right now the clock ticks very slowly and it feels like all is lost, I have however very smartly reconnected with my church and have a very good relationship with a young and very clued up pastor, who completely understands the situation and is incredibly supportive (he don't think much of her thought LOL), he runs a boxing gym which is something I've always wanted to do so his my mentor in a way. Also been working out everyday and am going to look at getting into some studying. All of these things I am doing for myself.

 

I am feeling incredibly angry at the moment but am not going to do anything stupid. I heard along time ago that the best revenge is to survive yourself...I am just going to have to "fake it till I can make it".

[BusterBrown]

I heard along time ago that the best revenge is to survive yourself.

 

Yep. But don't just survive, SHINE. Make this the biggest learning experience of your life.

One difference between me and my STBXW was our levels of willpower. I've always been the type of person that gets interested in something, then tries to master it. Usually only one thing at a time, but when I learn something new I dive into the subject completely. For example, I learned how to play guitar about 5 yrs ago. Nobody taught me. I just decided I wanted to play guitar, went out and bought one, and never looked back. Nothing is too hard. If other people can do something, so can you. They are human just like you.

After going through this painful divorce I've realized how much my social life has been lacking. I've also never been that great with women. I've realized this is the next thing I want to work on and I've been reading every piece of literature I can find about it recently. I want to be that guy that everybody is jealous of because he always attracts the women. Hard goal? Yes, indeed. Impossible? No way!

It kind of makes me smile inside because my STBXW never really pursued knowledge unless it was in the school setting. Other than that, she'd just rather watch TV. So deep down I know that I will have a better life than she in the end. That's the best revenge ever! Show her what a huge mistake she made leaving you!

[urdone]

I like your style, we are obviously on the same page.......I've never been great with women, and after 10 years well?. I know what you mean about learning....all I've been doing for the last few weeks is absorb everything I can...I'm under the impression that if you go out with the mindset that you done NEED a woman, or need one to be happy then it is actually easier to find one...not that I have any plans to find anyone else and probably for a very long time, but still there is no harm in getting out and making friends. I guess this shows a level of confidence which attracts people to you.

 

I think overall the difference between her and I is that I am stripped bare, there's no smoke and mirrors, I'm a good guy but I can be so much better and believe I will make it. Someone out there is going to be happy to catch me.

 

Her, she is acting like a totally difference person, this is a short term con and it will have to wear off sooner or later. And if she does hook up with another guy I think she will just be the same person in a different situation...and it won't be to long before she starts to question whats shes doing. I'll even give the guy a hard hat and pat on the back...he'll need it.

 

She says I live in denial, and I need to find myself...might be true to a degree, but at least I am true to myself, she on the other hand has LOST herself and is not living in an "authentic way". She claims to be a happy person but inside is not happy and is very unfulfilled, obviously she has needed a target for this anger which was all to often me.

 

Time will tell, but I feel somewhat confident that she will never be happy with anything or anyone.

[NYCmitch25]

I like your style, we are obviously on the same page.......I've never been great with women, and after 10 years well?. I know what you mean about learning....all I've been doing for the last few weeks is absorb everything I can...I'm under the impression that if you go out with the mindset that you done NEED a woman, or need one to be happy then it is actually easier to find one...not that I have any plans to find anyone else and probably for a very long time, but still there is no harm in getting out and making friends. I guess this shows a level of confidence which attracts people to you.

 

I think overall the difference between her and I is that I am stripped bare, there's no smoke and mirrors, I'm a good guy but I can be so much better and believe I will make it. Someone out there is going to be happy to catch me.

 

Her, she is acting like a totally difference person, this is a short term con and it will have to wear off sooner or later. And if she does hook up with another guy I think she will just be the same person in a different situation...and it won't be to long before she starts to question whats shes doing. I'll even give the guy a hard hat and pat on the back...he'll need it.

 

She says I live in denial, and I need to find myself...might be true to a degree, but at least I am true to myself, she on the other hand has LOST herself and is not living in an "authentic way". She claims to be a happy person but inside is not happy and is very unfulfilled, obviously she has needed a target for this anger which was all to often me.

 

Time will tell, but I feel somewhat confident that she will never be happy with anything or anyone.

 

Wow again, this is quite a sticky situation... I must say, your comment of having a relationship with her and her anger was quite humorous. It reminds me of the saying : "Roses are Red, violets are blue, I'm skitzofrantic, and so am I ".

 

It's obvious that she has crushing deficiencies, she's an utter failure, and it's even more obvious that there is nothing you can really do to rectify that -- just curious though, did you have an overbearing or boundary stepping parent (mother?) ?

 

Perhaps leaving her would provide catalyst -- which could help her see the error in her ways or a least spare your family (you) some pain in the long run. She's picked you, and you picked her in part because of some of these undercurrents -- you the good guy punching bag, she because it's reliving some semi-intense parental relationships or feelings of deep-seeded insecurities in your past -- note this is just conjecture here.

 

Happiness can come from other people, being with a special person who gets you -- but what do you have here ? A woman who has no possible clue on how to really get anyone including herself. I wouldn't doubt that she misreads a lot of situations causing needless pain on the both of you. Sure after X years, she knows some things about you but it will be extremely difficult to find happiness with this person esp. if she won't seek it herself. Quite honestly, her past trauma permanently altered her brain pattern, she needs more than pillow talk, she needs SSRI's. This is much like in one sense like a sociopath, there is really no "reforming" their psychosis.

 

If I were with you, I would seriously weigh the pros and cons of trying to salvage this relationship and moreover, try to understand how you ended up with her. I'm not trying to put blame on you, I'm trying to assert that there is a possibility you repeat it. Again, professional help may be a good option IMHO. Good luck with everything, and I hope I didn't sound to clinical about things.. I understand your pain.. TRUST ME.

[urdone]

UUUMm, I'd have to say my mother could be somewhat intrusive and annoying in the early years of our marriage, not had alot to do with them in recent years apart from recently and in all respects she got along with my parents very well in later years. In recent years they have become really good to us and were always willing to help out. Funny what you say about sociopath because that is EXACTLY what I have always said her brother was, shes like the one who made it, whereas her brother has been in nothing but trouble since he was a kid, drugs, booze, prison, it is impossible to reform him, he is the classic sociopath.

 

She is nothing like him on many levels but on other levels she is??????????, as weird as that seems. He looks and is a bum, she is very attractive, well dressed and outwardly headstrong and willful.

 

This is how her life started....Abusive father.. 15 year old mother....mother leaves, lives with father for a few years, father meets an incredibly white trash mental incapable women who acted as a very evil step mother, even going so far as to make the father give her and her brother brutal beatings. The step mother then has 2 kids they become the golden children and her and her brother become slaves, babysitter and cleaners. Even to this day she she always doing things to please her family, they don't give a rats ass about her, but she tries to get their approval so badly it makes me ill. She would complain bitterly about them but still do everything they ask.

 

I came from a typical family, not particulary loving family but there was no abuse, parents never split up and I would say my childhood was happy and carefree, the thought of my parents splitting up would have been impossible....I'm not going to make an apology for having decent parents.

 

When we first met she was a shy quiet girl, over the years I guess she bloomed but it's almost like she became a monster, she said it is because I was to weak that she had to be strong.......I can't really figure it out but I'm not taking the blame for it "people become who they want to become"

 

I'm down to earth, good guy, I have integrity, call a spade a spade and in no way would I call myself a sap or weak, If someone flipped me off for no reason...hell I'd pick a fight with them (not that I'm agro or anything) but I stick up for myself.....the fact I try and use reason and act civil instead of tuning into a raving lunatic about minor things does not make me weak. It would be easy to be like her. Get angry, sell myself out, walk over other people....to me what she see's as weakness was simply kindness....what she see's as her strength is perverse to me.....she says she is strong and assertive....really she is angry, abusive, highly aggressive and controlling. I see her love as highly conditional..where as mine was unconditional and thats probably a very telling factor...you can't emotionally hold people to ransom or threaten people you love.

 

I once asked her why she was so hard on me...and her answer....because you know me so well I feel I can be hard on you...F**KED UP HUH!. they say you hurt the ones you love the most...not me...but damn for her!!!

 

Oddly 2 weeks before we split, we had moved into my folks place, we had actually saved saved money for a deposit on a house and we were going to live at my folks for 6 months rent free, she seemed really happy to be living there to. This has also broken my parents hearts...my father is a very sick man and possibly has year or so left to live...all this has not helped.

 

One thing I did not mention in all of this is that 2 weeks before she started all this night clubbing she had a miscarriage (we were 3 months pregnant at the time) I was very cut up about it...My first thought was this was the reason, but I don't believe it was..it was just another deciding factor...she even went so far as to say "losing the baby was blessing in disguise". I think that was the very second that I knew it was all over.

 

I do agree with what you say about brain chemistry.

 

She says she has gotten over all the abuse and forgives them, however I see it that these things have actually made up the pulp and core of her personality...it's not what she does it's who she is.

 

I really do appreciate your input.

[NYCmitch25]

UUUMm, I'd have to say my mother could be somewhat intrusive and annoying in the early years of our marriage, not had alot to do with them in recent years apart from recently and in all respects she got along with my parents very well in later years. In recent years they have become really good to us and were always willing to help out. Funny what you say about sociopath because that is EXACTLY what I have always said her brother was, shes like the one who made it, whereas her brother has been in nothing but trouble since he was a kid, drugs, booze, prison, it is impossible to reform him, he is the classic sociopath.

 

She is nothing like him on many levels but on other levels she is??????????, as weird as that seems. He looks and is a bum, she is very attractive, well dressed and outwardly headstrong and willful.

 

This is how her life started....Abusive father.. 15 year old mother....mother leaves, lives with father for a few years, father meets an incredibly white trash mental incapable women who acted as a very evil step mother, even going so far as to make the father give her and her brother brutal beatings. The step mother then has 2 kids they become the golden children and her and her brother become slaves, babysitter and cleaners. Even to this day she she always doing things to please her family, they don't give a rats ass about her, but she tries to get their approval so badly it makes me ill. She would complain bitterly about them but still do everything they ask.

 

I came from a typical family, not particulary loving family but there was no abuse, parents never split up and I would say my childhood was happy and carefree, the thought of my parents splitting up would have been impossible....I'm not going to make an apology for having decent parents.

 

When we first met she was a shy quiet girl, over the years I guess she bloomed but it's almost like she became a monster, she said it is because I was to weak that she had to be strong.......I can't really figure it out but I'm not taking the blame for it "people become who they want to become"

 

I'm down to earth, good guy, I have integrity, call a spade a spade and in no way would I call myself a sap or weak, If someone flipped me off for no reason...hell I'd pick a fight with them (not that I'm agro or anything) but I stick up for myself.....the fact I try and use reason and act civil instead of tuning into a raving lunatic about minor things does not make me weak. It would be easy to be like her. Get angry, sell myself out, walk over other people....to me what she see's as weakness was simply kindness....what she see's as her strength is perverse to me.....she says she is strong and assertive....really she is angry, abusive, highly aggressive and controlling. I see her love as highly conditional..where as mine was unconditional and thats probably a very telling factor...you can't emotionally hold people to ransom or threaten people you love.

 

I once asked her why she was so hard on me...and her answer....because you know me so well I feel I can be hard on you...F**KED UP HUH!. they say you hurt the ones you love the most...not me...but damn for her!!!

 

Oddly 2 weeks before we split, we had moved into my folks place, we had actually saved saved money for a deposit on a house and we were going to live at my folks for 6 months rent free, she seemed really happy to be living there to. This has also broken my parents hearts...my father is a very sick man and possibly has year or so left to live...all this has not helped.

 

One thing I did not mention in all of this is that 2 weeks before she started all this night clubbing she had a miscarriage (we were 3 months pregnant at the time) I was very cut up about it...My first thought was this was the reason, but I don't believe it was..it was just another deciding factor...she even went so far as to say "losing the baby was blessing in disguise". I think that was the very second that I knew it was all over.

 

I do agree with what you say about brain chemistry.

 

She says she has gotten over all the abuse and forgives them, however I see it that these things have actually made up the pulp and core of her personality...it's not what she does it's who she is.

 

I really do appreciate your input.

 

Actually I just meant that if it's possible that since your mother "ruled the roost" that you might be accustomed to that kind of autocracy -- I didn't infer that they were bloody loony's :-P The brain chemistry thing is fact, it happens, and it is why young trauma can be far more lasting. She will really never come to grips with her condition but really the point is that it will be hard for you to convince her - or change her. I noticed that you didn't respond to my comments about leaving this woman. Sometimes ppl only respond to what they want to talk about -- if you are going to stay with her, it's going to be hard, I guess I would throw the fact that you have a family and the whole 9, get her into therapy again.. good luck.

[urdone]

She left me on Xmas day and has not made any other contact but to tell me she is divorcing me and arrangments over my son. Even then she sounds absolutely ****ty (as to why she should be angry at me????)

 

I do not have any intention of trying to get back with her or trying to convince her to get with me ....I don't really see any point, I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of seeing me beg. Her mind is made up and if she can treat me in such a cruel and cold blooded manner.....I'm the one who's suffering in agony, while she is out partying and having the time of her life, it really says alot....Wow she waited a whole 3 days to start clubbing again and by all accounts is wonderfully happy.

 

It is as if she has already emotionally divorced me or acts as if I never existed. She neither understands nor cares how I feel. There is really nothing left to save!.