Lonelystar Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 So it has been about 7 months since I broke up with my ex. He was my first love, and I don't know how I managed to keep it all together. It has also been about 2 weeks since I stopped all contact with him. I wish I had done no contact earlier, but it was just so hard. I wanted to keep him in my life some how, even though it was hurting me. Today I was listening to pandora (a website that plays free music), and the coldplay "scientist" came on. It was a song we listened to while driving to his house from Disney World. I just competely broke down, and started to weep. I felt so empty inside, and feel like I went back to sqauare one. Time does heal wounds, but I don't know if I will ever be competely healed. I love him so much, and I wish he still loved me. Last time we talked he said he still did, but it is just hard for me to believe. Anybody else been through something like this. Can you ever be over your first love?
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Rest assured, many of us have. I can't watch the dark knight, or listen to half the songs or see half the things or do half the things that even don't relate to her, SIMPLY because they remind me of something I DID do with her. That's how bad I've got it. And will you ever get over your first love? Primarily, yes. I've been broken up with my FIRST love for two years now, and I still care about her. Even though we haven't even spoken in maybe a year or more. You will get over it about 90%. But that 10% is forever locked.
malika Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Why did you break up with him? What makes you think he doesn't really still love you? It seems like there might be some mutual feelings still lingering, and that you two had a deep connection. This can make break-ups very hard and painful (I know now from experience). But knowing that you did the right thing to break-up will help you through this period, and having the desire to move on and live your life.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 I hate that quote "Live your Life". That's like sayin' "cook your cooking" I think it was American Eagle that jaded that quote so heavily for me. But my God, I ****ing HATE it. What the **** do you THINK I'm gunna do with my life? Die for little then come back again to live? Wtf. I hate that God **** quote. **** that quote. **** it. Lmao. 400th post!
Author Lonelystar Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 It is hard when you have to avoid certain songs or movies because it reminds you of an ex. I use to watch Lost with my ex all the time, and now I can't get season 4 on dvd fearing it will cause me to miss him. I hate "live your life" quote too. I am trying to live my life, but things just get pretty muddled when you don't have that person with you. He says he still loved me last time we talked, which was 2 weeks and some odd days ago. The reason why I don't feel he really does, because if he did wouldn't he have fought harder for us. He hasn't contacted me or made any real effort. Maybe I am expecting too much, or have seen way to many romantic movies. I wish I had a man like Robbie Hart ( ha!) I know apart of me will always belong to him. All of my cousins, and even both my sisters, married their high school sweethearts. I feel like an odd ball in the family without someone, and everyone feels so sorry for me. It makes me mad, and feel pathetic at the same time. I guess I have to learn to be okay with myself, and not have anyone there. I am okay being by myself, but I am realzing slowly that I hate family functions. I am the one sitting with the single people aka the small kids in the house.
nature Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Lonely Star, why did you break up with him? Were you the one that ended the relationship? Maybe he's not contacting you because you broke up with him? Getting dumped hurts. Maybe he'd feel foolish to contact you and try if you dumped him. He thinks you don't want him, so he leaves you alone?
Tryng2Trust08 Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 In regards to not watching certain movies or hearing certain songs because they remind you of the time u spent with your ex....In time that will go away and you will be able to think of the good times and those will be good memories for you. It's painful now, but in my own experience you will listen to those songs and smile......
Author Lonelystar Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 Nature, no I did not break up with him. He broke it off with me because of depression and anxiety issues he had. He said he couldn't handle our arguments anymore, though we rarley ever fought. The things we argued about , to me, were more like debates anyways. They involved things such as religions or politics. We were together for 5 years, and even planned to get married soon. I was left with nothing but confusion and pain. I hope those songs become memories I can smile upon. I really do. Right now though, even after 7 months I can't seem to go weak every time I hear something romantic. Everyone says to find someone else, but I am not ready to date yet. Maybe the universe is trying to show me that I can make it on my own, and I do need this time apart from the male species.
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