TheRock Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 My GF of 2 1/2 yrs & I might be done...I say "might" because we talked on the phone and she said she "altho she loves me more than anything, she doesn't feel sexual w\me anymore". I noticed she's been avoiding sex at times l8ly, but didn't know why. I finally learned 2day that she's felt odd since we went away to a wedding in August! Wish she would've come to me sooner with this...We had sporadic sex since then and things were Gr8 when we get together, but she's lacked desire to put me ahead of her friends etc and make time for me since then. AT THE WEDDING, we had a fight because she spent the majority of the time dancing with her GF's. So, I was stuck at the table tlking w\the people next to me INNOCENTLY and the person next to me was a girl. My GF got mad and I said, let's dance (to my GF) and she said not now, THEN the girls grabbed her and HER n the Girls went dancing, leaving me there again. I got eventually got drunk and when we got back to the room, I got mad n said it's like she's a lesbian (because she ALWAYS puts her GF's 1st). She didn't like that. I almost left her at the hotel. I was wrong, but so was she. I didn't know she's held the grudge all this time, but now I know. That's why she's been not "feeling sexual" w\me. How do I convince her to put it aside and move forward w\me? Is it possible for her to get those feelings back? If so, HOW? And, what can I do? Thx.m
Ariadne Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 My GF of 2 1/2 yrs & I might be done...I say "might" because we talked on the phone and she said she "altho she loves me more than anything, she doesn't feel sexual w\me anymore". I noticed she's been avoiding sex at times l8ly, but didn't know why. I finally learned 2day that she's felt odd since we went away to a wedding in August! Wish she would've come to me sooner with this...We had sporadic sex since then and things were Gr8 when we get together, but she's lacked desire to put me ahead of her friends etc and make time for me since then. AT THE WEDDING, we had a fight because she spent the majority of the time dancing with her GF's. So, I was stuck at the table tlking w\the people next to me INNOCENTLY and the person next to me was a girl. My GF got mad and I said, let's dance (to my GF) and she said not now, THEN the girls grabbed her and HER n the Girls went dancing, leaving me there again. I got eventually got drunk and when we got back to the room, I got mad n said it's like she's a lesbian (because she ALWAYS puts her GF's 1st). She didn't like that. I almost left her at the hotel. I was wrong, but so was she. I didn't know she's held the grudge all this time, but now I know. That's why she's been not "feeling sexual" w\me. How do I convince her to put it aside and move forward w\me? Is it possible for her to get those feelings back? If so, HOW? And, what can I do? Thx.m She is not feeling sexual now because she doesn't like you very much at this point or may like some other guy. Don't worry about it, she's been sexual with you before so most likely she'll come back.
Author TheRock Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 Rather than deal with her "issues" and our "issue", it's easier for her to "run" than it is to deal with it. We BOTH really care for each other and have a gr8 tx together, but I think she's not feeling sexual, because she always has other obligations. I said to her, "How can you feel sexual with me or get excited with me when you rarely stay over and when you come over, have to leave as things heat up, ESPECIALLY when u initiate it?" I think part of her is scared of committing to the relationship for a variety of reasons and by not letting things get sexual or move to the next level, she doesn't have to deal with her fears. How do we start a healing conversation and take another chance?
Ariadne Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Rather than deal with her "issues" and our "issue", it's easier for her to "run" than it is to deal with it. We BOTH really care for each other and have a gr8 tx together, but I think she's not feeling sexual, because she always has other obligations. I said to her, "How can you feel sexual with me or get excited with me when you rarely stay over and when you come over, have to leave as things heat up, ESPECIALLY when u initiate it?" I think part of her is scared of committing to the relationship for a variety of reasons and by not letting things get sexual or move to the next level, she doesn't have to deal with her fears. How do we start a healing conversation and take another chance? Well, most relationships break at the 2 to 3 year mark. Seems like yours is getting there with her withdrawal. See what happens I guess. And if you've been with her for more than two years, maybe her fear of commitment is to commit to you now that she is not sure.
kizik Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Rock, I'm going to chase you around these boards until you gracefully accept that, sadly, she doesn't really like you anymore. All the posting on LS won't change it. I am sorry bro, I know it is tough. But open up your ears and get out of this relationship. Have a little self-respect!
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