stovepipe Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I just got this email from her today. I'm going to post the whole thing.Help me figure her out!!! A little background. My best friend and I started seeing each other after her husband left her. After a petty argument and me finding out she was talking to other guys I told her I wanted to back off and cool things down. She said that instead of that she was just ending it all. I was upset over the whole thing and turned to an old friend to talk to, a girl I dated in the past who knows my family and also works with us. My ex figured out I had been talking to her about our relationship and my ailing father. Let me know what you think. Side note..when she is talking about her worrying about me and me being sick I haven't been eating, this is due to the stress from my father and our break up. I've been trying but I just can't seem to stomach anything as of yet. I had picked her up for lunch and she was trying to get me to eat. "I don't even know where to begin. I feel awful! I feel like my whole world is crashing down. It's no wonder my ****ing husband left me. Good god, your dad is sick and on top of that I am making you feel worse. I should be making you feel better. I don't know if I am coming or going. You think I am this horrible person who tries to hurt you to make myself feel better. That is not the case at all. I am just really really scared of someone breaking my heart again and don't want to let my guard down. It may seem like I don't care but in fact I care a lot. I spend Saturday night home alone thinking about everything crying because I was afraid you didn't love me anymore. Do you know how hard it was for me not to just grab you and ram my tongue down your throat today. I wanted to badly. I just know that it would only further complicate things. I wish you were here now so I could hold you and make you feel better. I want nothing more than to be here for you. I didn't mean to make you mad at lunch today. Please know I just really care about you and I don't want you to get sick. The last thing your mom would need right now is you getting sick. **** I do love you and I worry about you. Some times I think things would be better if we didn't talk and other times I can't live with out you. I just don't know what to do. When **** looked at me today I knew she thought something. I have to say that hurt, when you said you talked to her about your dad. That ****ing ripped me apart. Your always there for me and I am never there for you. I just want to be there for you. I want you to call me crying. I want to be the one who soothes your heart. Not her!!!! OMG.. it could of been anyone else and I wouldn't of cared. I dont even care that **** knows. It's just her. After everything she did to you I will never forgive her. I know you have a forgiving heart and I wish I could be more like you. I just know how much she hurt you and now I am doing the same thing. I dont want to hurt you ****. I don't like when you call upset because of something I did. It really hurt me today when you said I was cold hearted. I am not cold hearted. It hurts my feelings that you would even think that of me. I guess its my fault. I'm sorry ****! I don't know what to say! I don't want you to think I am this horrible person who just doesn't give a **** because believe it or not I do. I care for you a lot and your opinion of me matters. ***** just know I love you and I am always here for you. I promise if you need me you can call and I promise I will not start a fight with you."
Ariadne Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Well, What can I tell you. If you really like her take her back after that email.
Author stovepipe Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 I don't think she wants me back...thats what is so confusing!!!
Author stovepipe Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 I spoke to her earlier tonight. She said she wants me to be her best friend again, she wants to talk to me about dates and guys she's dating. I mean...how can she expect me to do this. Is she testing me, is she seeing if I'll break her heart and run away like her ex husband did? I just don't know. I want to know what I want to do when I go to talk to her tomorrow. Im just so confused right now
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