wiggum2476 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Over the past few months I have been very sad, empty, and feeling abandoned. I have this habit of trying to become close and be with unattainable women. Currently there was a girl who has a live in boyfriend of 5+ years. I stepped in to try and "save" her. Things obviously didn't work out but it got me thinking. I have never had a real relationship only been a guy that some girl friends of mine come to when they need someone to tell them how great they are but never want to be with. I've screwed up many, what could be great lasting friendships with many of these women by revealing my feelings and exhibiting bad behaviors when things don't work out. With that little bit of background, I have done some reading and realize that obviously I have low self-esteem, I am codependent, I have a hard time attracting people I want. My question is, what is a good starting point to help myself get on the right track to not only loving myself but really finding someone who will love me and not just use me to temporarily solve their problems.
Ariadne Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 You just have to put yourself out there if you want to find a gf. Meet many girls you are attracted to so that you don't fixate on a particular girl.
Author wiggum2476 Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 Thanks, Advice so simple yet so true. I guess sometimes you just need someone to break it down simply. Instead of what I normally do and over analyze (paralysis by analysis), which is what usually gets me in trouble. Thanks again.
kizik Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Best advice I or anyone could give you in this situation, considering that you feel codependent and have low self-esteem, is to start therapy. Yes, it can be expensive, but I just found a therapist for $40 a week, so that aint too bad.
sared Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 start with yourself first. you need to have a healthy self-esteem and confidence. have a more positive outlook in life, Also try to be more mature.
Pacman Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 Hey man! keep your chin up. I used to be exactly like you minus the fact that those girls eventually did end up being with me BUT ended up dumping me because (Insert bs excuse) - the real reason why - I had low self-esteem and WAS codependent. First and foremost you have to work on yourself buddy. Gain confidence, gain self-esteem and gain SELF-RESPECT. Start hitting the gym, start running, eat healthier, read self-esteem/confidence books, do things that make you happy, have positive outlook in life. Let me tell you though, its a hard road but once you achieve it, it is well worth it.
Author wiggum2476 Posted January 22, 2009 Author Posted January 22, 2009 Thanks to all for the advice. Seems to be a common theme through them all. Cheers.
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